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I knew twins at school called Andrew and Peter Ness. On roll-calls etc, they were always differentiated as A.Ness and P.Ness.

Follow-up letter in today's Metro: I have just read your article on football chants which included one about the West Ham United striker Bobby Zamora, which goes: "When the ball hits the net, and the club's out of debt, that's Zamora." I'd just like to point out that an alternative is: "When...

Surely Big Sam from Bolton gets a nod too? He looks like a slobbery old St Bernard that's just realised it's lost its knackers.

Shouldn't that be 'Unpopular pages'?

Article on football chants in today's Metro lists as one of its favourites: "West Ham United fans to Bobby Zmora, to the tune of 'Amore': "When the ball hits the net, and the club's out of debt, that's Zamora!"" I think our version was much better.

Did Prescott really say a stadium was NOT in the national interests?

Is Jackie Rowland any relation to the famous Angela Rowland, perchance?

"Weekend visitors to the Downs, instead of hearing only sheep bleating and lark song, will have to endure the chanting of football crowds as the sound echoes through the valleys." :rolleyes:

1. Age - 38, as of a week ago. 2. Sex - Male 3. Height - 6ft 1in 4. Weight - 12st 4lb 5. Marital Status - Living with girlfriend 6. Favourite Artist - Franz Kline 7. Favourite film – Apocalypse Now

Freudian slip there, Barnet.

God. Kimberley Davies. She was ****ing gorgeous in Neighbours. Wonder what she'll look like now...

North Stand for Donny, didn't miss a game at the Goldstone that year*. In the seats for Hereford, near the centre line high up. Went on the Gulls Eye coach party... * Didn't pay for Mansfield boycott, joined the East Stand break in!

In the 1996-7 days, I used my real name. How dull. Then I was Edinburgh Seagull for a while. Now I sue my eBay username. Dunno why really. It's not exactly interesting. But I can't think of any good reason to change it. And Soul Finger, now I know who you are, hello! How's your Dad getting on...

This poll is a travesty. Where's Apricot. Damson?

Def Jam the record label. That 'inability to open a door' jam. A like, crazy rock out, freewheelin' Ronnie Wood improvisational jam. Maaan... Pearl Jam.

That's like saying, who was the best Albion player: – Bobby Zamora – Ashley Neal – Ashley Neal's pet goldfish Brian

Jam were awesome, but Weller solo leaves me bored senseless. Saw him at a Reading Festival a few years back, and had a sinking premonition he'd be sweating and bellowing through "Changing Man" within the first minute. I was right. Shudder.

Went on the train – dead simple and cheap. Avoid the overpriced tours. At Auschwitz, take the time to walk up the road to Birkenau. About 20 minutes from what I recall. Whilst Auschwitz is heaving with coach parties and information displays etc, Birkenau is vast, untouched and much more...

As pointed out by The Guardian, the name Journey South cannot be taken seriously. While it's meant to conjure up images of two working class lads from t'north leaping into their van and travelling to the bright lights of the city in a wide-eyed search for fame and fortune, it's actually nothing...

It's agents isn't it. Placing the stories, upping the hype, making stuff up... For once I even agreed with Simon Jordan in the paper this Sunday: "Theo Walcott's agency wrote last week to call me ignorant for suggesting that telling the press their 16-year-old boy would be 'flattered' to talk...