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I went out with a girl who worked at Marks and Spencer once. She'd never let me try anything on.

Do you mean "can we have a few fewer 'love in' style threads"?

Dear Ernest and Ben's Grandad. I fear someone may have broken into your offices and stolen a quantity of your headed notepaper...

Which is the greatest "which is the greatest thread of all time" thread of all time? Well?

Many thanks everyone. Had some splendid Greek food last night and lots of booze to celebrate. Remember: DON'T VOTE FOR DAVID BELLOTTI.

One win out of six in that list. Should have known really.

Just had a bit of an accumulator on that, thanks!

MAN U v Birmingham - ding BRENTFORD v Franchise - ding PETERBROUGH v Stockport - ding ABERDEEN v Inverness CT - ding Queen o' the South v DUNDEE UTD - ding GRETNA v Elgin - ding Computer says YES! Twenty four and a bit quid for a two quid stake. Ta muchly.

I know Adam Virgo's next door neighbour. She wears comfortable shoes.

Can we give 'em the yellow one?

Is there a Wickes on the GRP? I did have to laugh when the Wickes in Carlisle got wrecked by the floods...

To my untutored eyes, this looks like the best news yet. Even if Falmer Parish council manage to come up with evidence that Sheepcote Valley is actually twinned with the Hanging Gardens of Babylon and there's an unexploded world war two bomb under the Falmer site, he is not going to say: "I...

2 hours of shorthand? I hp y cn rt fstr then y wnk nw.

Whose access are they blocking? Why is anyone going to Falmer village today?

Definitely in BTH. It said so in the Supporters' Club newsletter.

Look, you bellend:

It's like a council meeting, a bit. You can wander in and out whenever you like, as long as you do it inobtrusively. The worst that can happen, really, is the Inspector telling you to be quiet.

Yelldell is a yankee In goal he is a trier, He doesn't concede "own goals"; He calls them "friendly fire".

Well done for not making any Huddersfield references Thimble.