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Decided lack of vegetarian options here. Scrambled eggs are the future. I've only ever had a truly GREAT full English veggie breakfast in one place. A cafe in Glasgow.

West Scotland

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I might be so bored with my mum's ridiculous party games that I have a quick look. I'll then see it's full of people I don't know slagging each other off for reasons I don't understand, and I'll go and have some leftover nut roast.

Brighton scarves and bartowels tied together?

Funwall is the spawn of satan. Scrabulous is GREAT though

Depends how much say Moores has in the decision. They'd be a good team, though Graveney, who is more conservative than Adams or Moores, will probably get "National Selector". As the piece in the Telegraph says, he could be a selector and a county pro, like Mike Gatting was in the late 1990s.

Indeed. I frequently hear police loudhailers round my neck of the woods. "BLUE ON THE LEFT, BROWN ON THE RIGHT" they scream out.

Some of the stupidest, or most disturbed, people ever to call the police. Listen here: http://www.cambs.police.uk/newsappeals/news/newsitem.asp?NewsID=3705

In The Bleak JEFF-WINTER

Gifton NOEL Williams

Manchester United's last reported annual profits were £46m. Do they really need to flog a few shirts off the back of the grimmest anniversary in club history? Can't see Liverpool doing it on 15th April 2009.

There's still a stopped clock with the date and the time of the crash outside Old Trafford (at least there was abour five years ago when I last went there). Not sure why they're announcing it now, though. Simply to run out in the kit on the day, with an explanatory note in the programme, might...

In Britain 1) Go to your local post office 2) Find it's been closed down and turned into a Caffe Nero 3) Go home, and order something on Amazon instead

Bloody awful one way system

Not actually a Christmas song at all. But "It's Clichéd To Be Cynical At Christmas" is, and it's bloody ace.

Phil Mustard is crying into his onions.

Coughing Bob Fleming

Hope Gary Hart's loan deal hasn't soured your celebrations too much! Have a good one.

Interesting that Bournemouth were the first club to be owned by a supporters' trust. A Cherries-supporting bloke at work thinks it's all gone a bit wrong down there.