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I've never got out in a way that hasn't been ABSOLUTELY 100 PER CENT BLATANT. So I've never had that particular moral dilemma to worry about. My highest score, by the way, in all forms of competitive cricket (The Eden Valley league, Div 2) is 6*.

Me too. Though I'd rather like to see the game first.

Not allowed. Football League rules, I think.

I'd say she BLINKING WELL WAS ALL THAT, mates.

If the Argus don't use that as a back page headline tomorrow, they want their heads examining.

Nurse!

See, it doesn't always pay to live in Central Brighton.

She was with him at the Komedia last night. She's like Scarlett Johansson, only better looking.

1) Was it number 6? 2) Referee who gave a dodgy decision against Newcastle in our FA Cup match with them 10) Steve Foster NB: I may have known more of these had I been born before 1981.

NEWS JUST IN: I'm coming to BRIGHTON to attend the TREASON SHOW at the KOMEDIA. What do you mean you don't CARE?

It was advertising, not PR. One requires subtlety, the other requires a lack of it...

Oh dear oh dear oh dear. WHERE oh WHERE are the club's PR staff, whose job SURELY must be to advise Dick that saying this sort of thing MAKES HIM LOOK A BIT SILLY?

Post of the YEAR, Easy. I was going to say, "Yes I think I do", but having read that I'm not sure. My parents were never bothered about football and in fact only moved to Brighton when I was four. So it was only thanks to my friend Richard's parents who used to give me and my brother their spare...

Why do we have to have a vote of confidence in the bloody chairman every time something goes a tiny bit wrong? We're quite near the playoffs and we've got a new stadium on the way, you cretins!

Hardly. If we haven't got a pot to piss in; they have a bladder infection that leaves them unable to even piss.

I thought as well; not red and blue. I don't remember Dick kicking up such a fuss when Nathan Jones had the famous "dayglo squirrel" hairdo.

I think this is a BAD move by Dick. I understand that the club's press people occasionally have to stop him chucking his toys out of the pram... and they've failed to do this here. Now, I do suspect that ever since the Turienzo days, agents have seen our club as a bit of a soft target. Not sure...

Only just. I've never contacted, or seen Andrew Slaughter (Labour: Ealing, Acton and Shepherd's Bush). I wouldn't recognise him if he headbutted me.

CALM DOWN DEAR! IT'S ONLY A THREAD!

I still need a whole camembert. That is all.