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One of my colleagues, let's call him Geoff (because that's his name) is taking early retirement, and I'm puzzling over how much to put in his leaving kitty. Geoff is a top bloke. He's ultra-experienced, having been doing the job longer than I've been alive. He's always good-humoured, full of...

Minute's applause (one hand clapping?)

Oh Jesus. This is bad.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/01/29/nmp129.xml Shame they never got his predecessor...

You have to think about this very carefully. Will they let you drink lots and then post on NSC at this year's Christmas party? If yes, then go for it. If no, then YOU'RE GETTING LOADS MORE MONEY FOR A BETTER JOB FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, MAN!

Have you still got to remember two UNCHANGEABLE 20-digit pin numbers, or something? It was bloody IMPOSSIBLE last time I had a go.

Seems a tad libellous to me.

What shit is going on, exactly? We're quite high up in the league, we've got planning permission for a new stadium, and we've signed a player with a few more being trialled. I suppose all that is DK and DW's "fault", then. What?

Of course, Brighton and Hove Council have a more efficient PR operation than the Albion....

The letter began "Dear Sirs I fear someone may have broken into your offices and stolen a quantity of your headed notepaper." :D

He's interpreting the facts for the purpose of analysis. And think about it -- he's probably right, isn't he? The Argus would sell far fewer without football stories in. The top two pages in local papers are, in order, deaths, and the back page. The paper is lucky to have him, I reckon. The...

And that's why he's been the Albion reporter at the Argus since the early 1990s, then, is it?

Massive great hulks of timber are not "winkles and other sea food". http://www.mcga.gov.uk/c4mca/mcga-environmental/mcga-dops_row_receiver_of_wreck/mcga-dops_row_law.htm

No it isn't, matey. Ask the Merchant Shipping Act 1995.

So let me get this straight. You've just resigned. From a sign company? Anyway, I'm surprised and impressed by the number of self-employed/freelance/business-owning people here. It's something I'd be far too frightened to do (I was freelance for about 9 months after I left uni six years ago...

I'm a radio producer. I write things for people like Charlotte Green, Fenella Fudge, and Shelagh Fogarty to read out. And apopros Mr 1064's job, about ten years ago I thought up the name "Mid Sussex Live".

Superb. You can see Archer pooing his pants in the face of some VERY polite, yet incisive, questioning.

Last time I called the police to report an attempted break-in, there were two officers at my door before I'd got off the phone to the station.

They don't. In an astounding reversal of fortunes, Lewes FC would have to apply to B&H Council to alter the planning permission, I guess.

It's not a bad idea, actually. Where do visitors to Sussex/Brighton Universities stay? In town, presumably, so there's an opportunity there as well. What would you do with the SWIMMING POOL though?