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"Now I've wallpapered the ceiling I can relax with a nice pie"

There hasn't been a teachers' strike over pay since 1987. And teachers a) generally know what the working conditions are going to be like when they sign up; and b) are extremely committed individuals who like to do a job properly. There has been an increase in administrative support in the past...

INSET stands for IN SErvice Training. They were introduced by Kenneth Baker when he was education secretary, and are also known as Baker Days. Presumably any pay rise offered by the current education secretary woud be a Balls Up. Anyway -- the current Mrs Of Pevensey Bay is a teacher in a state...

Prescott: my secret battle with bulimia - Times Online

Apparently it's going to be all over the Sunday Times in the morning. Unbelievable, but so was Edwina Currie.

Why did you have such a sense of humour failure that you threatened, in about 2000, to SUE an Albion fanzine that printed a comedy song about you, set to the tune of the Stoke City fans' favourite, "Delilah"?

He's been RAKING in the profits at the end of Havelock Road since I was a small boy. I'd be DELIGHTED to wear a shirt carrying the name of a Brighton LEGEND.

I think I used to have a STOOL called JOBBY.

Why not start getting the train? Change at Clapham Junction for Kensington Olympia or Shepherd's Bush (when it opens in October)

I have seven words of warning for you all. Saved By The Bell: The New Class

I am not certain that any of my colleagues are raving gak fiends -- but then I do work in a quite boring bit of the Beeb. I don't think you'd find any more drugs habits here than you would in another organisation employing predominantly young middle class people.

Its parent company has debts of 0.25bn apparently. Concerns the insurance is no longer valid, so ALL flights have been stopped.

I think a jumper means all bets are NULL and VOID.

Nobody EVER wears white on TV without a jacket and tie. It buggers up the picture too much. I'll go BROWN.

My workplace has a canteen for overnight workers, and some of the chefs are lazier than others. The TRIED and TESTED method for making sure you get proper scrambled actual eggs is to ask if the omelettes are on. ONLY when you get a yes do you ask scrambled eggs. I also used to make my scrambled...

There are loads of clubs you could approach and ask to "lend" us their ground for a Sunday afternoon. Preston Nomads (Fulking) would my first port of call: it's where the Gattings play, for a start... plus they've got loads of money.

Bad light has stopped play. Very gloomy here in W London.

They'll be dancing in the streets of, er, The South tonight!

I suggest we SMASH them out of sight during the second session then declare just after tea.

Potentially I would like to, yes. I have EXTENSIVE experience of batting down the order and bowling medium pace trundlers in the Eden Valley League (Div II). And I know how to score.