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It's clearly f***'S sake. Just like it's for God's sake and for Christ's sake.

Nah -- he's lived in Carlisle for as long as he can remember. He got into it by being a sexual health nurse (!) and doing hospital radio....

That'll be Derek Lacey. A man who once MISSED a goal while bending down picking up his pen -- and got the score wrong until half time when someone corrected him off Ceefax.. He's BRILLIANT.

CUM-BRI-AAAAAAA, milord. CUM-BRI-AAAAA!

Oh god, PLEASE Deano. Though it's more than I expect of you. And I mean that in a good way.

Does he still have this on the go? Anyone know?

I bloody hope he does. I also think he and Adams would be an absolutely ASTOUNDING double-act. But then I put myself in his shoes. I love and feel dead proud to work for my employer -- but if I was shafted that badly and could get a good job elsewhere, I know what I'd do. I'd f*** off.

I would LOVE this.

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Minute's silence?

It's ESSENTIAL to use a bin as the stumps, by the way.

I used to play alleyway cricket at my friend Richard's house. In PATCHAM. Break a window, or top-edge it into next door, and you're out, was our rule.

Was Ronnie related to Jim?

Plus there's no actual LAW against carrying alcohol on the Tube per se, so British Transport Police won't be able to enforce the policy for at least a year, apparently.

Say what you like about Il Duce. But he made the trains run on time.

I'm not going to cycle from London to Hove, am I? Tit. (And yes, I know you're fishing...)

Well, they've sent me a very po-faced letter which includes the immortal phrases: "We're sorry you're unhappy with our decision to actually enforce our long-standing cycle policy" and "Staff have had difficulty walking through trains which had a negative impact on safety, security and revenue...

Sark and Herm and Alderney are in effect part of Guernsey. The Scillies are part of England.

According to the Times this morning, Nick Boles will just be an interim chief of staff for a few months. It says Boris is looking to appoint loads of his own people, including a "senior broadcaster" as press secretary. I am hereby ruling myself OUT.