[Humour] Great comedy lines

[The Clamp]

And once again who did Germany choose as their foe?...... The world. Do they think they're Mars or something?

 

[Winker]

"It's for under my arms"

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

 

[TugWilson]

What is this ?
It`s a robot arm !
Where`s the rest of the robot ?
I only built the arm !
Cos that`s all you needed right !!

 

[Algernon]

Tomato - Ted... aubergine - your... potato - wife's... turnip - dead.

 

[BadFish]

"What about Genocide?"

 

[Russconha]

Get out of my house you misanthropic moron!

 

[Jahooli]

I am serious and don’t call me Shirley.

I’m Brian and so is my wife.

 

[Hendrax]

Stwike him centurion, veryyyy woughly!

 

[vegster]

His Excellency, the Governor of Kalabar.

Your Excellency,

your presence enriches my humble home.

May the benevolence of the god Shivu

bring blessings on your house.

And on yours.

And may his wisdom bring success

in all your undertakings.

And in yours.

And may his radiance light up your life.

And up yours.

" Come on you lot leave that stupid Fakir alone "

 

[vegster]

My locality! Wandered round the farmyard not that long ago.

"We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!" (although I tend to swap 'ales' for 'wines')


On a secondary note - can't believe there isn't more from Blackadder in here. Most lines of most episodes would qualify!

" Indeed it is the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun..."

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

(Insert everything uttered by Spinal Tap’s manager here). Or Artie Fufkin.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

You’d get on the Archbishop of Canterbury’s tits, you would! (Steptoe and Son)

 

[Peacehaven Wild Kids]

No, It is not possible to reserve the BBC2 channel from the commencement of this televisual feast until the moment of the termination of its ending, ...

 

[Peacehaven Wild Kids]

You know, it's funny you should mention that about footballers, Oz, cause the only older woman I ever had looked like Billy Bremner.

It’s a bit like “The Game” this. Having watched every episode of AWP about ten million times, I’m now in the middle of a three year cold turkey, where I don’t think about it, let alone watch it.
I was going to binge watch it in early 2024 but now my three years has got to start again. Thanks a lot (!)


“….I’m just gan doon the pub pet, wid me stool….”

 

[WATFORD zero]

But these fokkers were messerschmitts

 

[Grassman]

(Insert everything uttered by Spinal Tap’s manager here). Or Artie Fufkin.

or any of the band…

“They were still booing him when we were on!”

and if it’s not been mentioned already….

”This one goes to eleven….”

 

[Superphil]

We got a letter from the Council

 

[jcdenton08]

I live in Acton, yes, it’s very nice…

Not saying the punchline out of context!

 

[Live by the sea]

Marriage is a wonderful institution but then who wants to live in an institution !

Groucho Marx