[Humour] Great comedy lines

[portlock seagull]

Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?

I like my coffee black, just like my men.

 

[W3 BHA]

I got rid of my vacuum cleaner - it was just gathering dust....

 

[jakarta]

"I think this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part"

Full quote:

 

[5Ways Gull]

You, tart, get yer knickers on and make me a cup of tea

Do you get wafers with it.
Of course you don't f@cking wafers with it you cocksucker - Albatross sketch - Monty Python live at Drury Lane

Corbett - This doesn't appear to a good restaurant to come to if you don't like Rook.
Barker - It's not a good restaurant to come to if you do like Rook (I may have misquoted that one)

 

[WATFORD zero]

Full quote:

Full quote

 

[Tony Towner's Fridge]

'The next train has already gone!

TNBA

TTF

 

[WATFORD zero]

'The next train has already gone!

TNBA

TTF

And, in honour of your avatar

"I met a beautiful woman on a mountain trail. I didn't know whether to block her passage or toss myself off."

(and a 5 year ban from the BBC in 1944 )

 

[Is it PotG?]

'If it's the same fecking bread van, I'll kill them'

 

[Couldn't Be Hyypia]

Can't believe we haven't had this all time NSC classic quotable:

"It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand."

 

[Whitley Bayster]

"You can't have kids jumping up and down on that ... that... love length!"
Sammy the Snake , Brian Potter..class

 

[Stumpy Tim]

"Why the hell did she marry Gerald"

Rowan Atkinson

 

[Is it PotG?]

Watch out, here comes the Jolly Green Giant.

That's strange, because I can see you perfectly well from here.

 

[Leekbrookgull]

and i don't want any soggy chips,i want mine crisp und light brown.

 

[jcdenton08]

Say hello to Miguel Sanchez