NSC Nativity Play.

[tedebear]

Is this MODERN adaptation really necessary. Can't we just stick with the traditional SWADDLING CLOTHs and stuff ?

No as there is a ban on chopping Muslims up...

 

[tedebear]

Muslins muslins - sorry - always get that wrong...

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Kay...

First scene over, all of you did a good job, although I wish that Titanic and Carwash could control their Giggling!, Orange Juice then part 2!

"Choir" Silent Night Holy Night....

Shepherds....

 

[The Large One]

No mate, you get to chuck your muck in Shegull, wait for thirty years and see your kid get nailed to some wood...can you feel that?

He's not my lad, some big-nosed twat said that 300 years later trying to make me a plaintiff in a child custody case. I still reckon it was HKFC what done the deed. So you can f*** right off on that one.

Anyhoo, this Shegull - she's 14, right?

 

[Dave the OAP]

*shouts heard from off stage*


PUT THAT f***ing CAMEL DOWN....LEAVE IT HE'S NOT WORTH IT

 

[Titanic]

Sir, sir... does that strange looking man in the dirty mac, over there, by the pigs(??) have written permission for everyones parents to be making a video recording of this performance ? My mum told me not to talk to people like him, and I am scared.

 

[The Large One]

Sir, sir... does that strange looking man in the dirty mac, over there, by the pigs(??) have written permission for everyones parents to be making a video recording of this performance ? My mum told me not to talk to people like him, and I am scared.

He's your father - stop snivelling.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Funny looking man

Thats Mr Knight.. he owns the theatre.

 

[tedebear]

*shouts heard from off stage*


PUT THAT f***ing CAMEL DOWN....LEAVE IT HE'S NOT WORTH IT

Leave it to me gaffer - hop hop hop.....

 

[Titanic]

Thats Mr Knight.. he owns the theatre.

Can he at least keep QUIET? or better still SILENT! He's putting me off!

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Do they have PIGS in Nativity plays?

Oxen and sheep, and ASSES. Goats at a push.

But PIGS?

 

[Dave the OAP]

* more sound from off stage*


" Oi Big nose"

" Who are you calling bignose you effing Jew?"

" Oh Christ, now you have gone and done it"

" No......no....she didnt mean it.....she is menapausal.....no you havent got a huge nose......look........"

Enters a Kangaroo....... " HAVE IT!!!!!!"

 

[Perry Milkins]

When do we get to sing..

Long time ago in Bethlehem...


HARK NOW 'EAR THE ANGELS SING..the Palace run way (again!) Miss?

 

[Perry Milkins]

Do they have PIGS in Nativity plays?

Oxen and sheep, and ASSES. Goats at a push.

But PIGS?

Hoiney badger in the corner!

 

[hans kraay fan club]

When does BH flounce? You can't have an am-dram production without the director FLOUNCING at least once. Its against the LAW.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Hoiney badger in the corner!

Hiney badger?

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

So, Scene 2...

Buzzer, Fourteenth Eye and Tom Hark shuffle in wearing rags...TLO's voice Booms out of the 10 watt P.A. "A Child is born in Bethlehem this night, He is the king of the Jews"

....

(choir) Oh come all ye faithful..

 

[Perry Milkins]

Hiney badger?

says in the script the Narrator has a New Joisey accent...

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

When does BH flounce? You can't have an am-dram production without the director FLOUNCING at least once. Its against the LAW.

Bollocks to the lot of you!

Twats!

 

[Dave the OAP]

I am bored now....all the punters have gone home....can I be one of Herods men who go and kill the first born male of every Jew...please please please