NSC Nativity Play.

[Dave the OAP]

Oooohhhhhhh Can I be the Virgin Mary


pleaaaaaaaaasssseeeeeeee.

Typecasting?

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

OK, heres how its shaping up..

Scene 1:

"Choir">..Little Donkey, Little Donkey...

Shegull (with a bit of her mums curtain on her head) enters riding Beach Hut with Hans Kraay replete with large comedy beard, and teatowel hat, as Joseph by her side..

Arriving in Bethlehem a tinfoil star, held aloft by Ernest , illuminates the stage...

(Choir Sings "Oh little town of Bethlehem")

Arriving at the Inn, Dave the Gaffer (innkeeper) emerges.....

 

[Perry Milkins]

OK, heres how its shaping up..

Scene 1:

"Choir">..Little Donkey, Little Donkey...

Shegull (with a bit of her mums curtain on her head) enters riding Beach Hut with Hans Kraay replete with large comedy beard, and teatowel hat, as Joseph by her side..

Arriving in Bethlehem a tinfoil star, held aloft by Ernest , illuminates the stage...

(Choir Sings "Oh little town of Bethlehem")

Arriving at the Inn, Dave the Gaffer (innkeeper) emerges.....

then they go to a chariot race...?

 

[Bluejuice]

Bloke (a carpenter) marries Lady who hasn't been with a man before. She then tells him that she is with child after being visited by a guy in the night who said he was an angel and his name was gabriel.

They get told that they need to go to another Town 'Bethlehem' to register and travel on a donkey (little). When they get there all the travelodges are full so they check out the local pub. The landlord ends them to a barn which they share with cows and pigs and other farm animals.

The lady points up at a star just over the barn and whilst the bloke looks up to see it she pops the baby out and calls it Jesus. Loads of locals hear the baby crying and come to have a butchers.

Three really clever sorts then turn up with Frankenstien, Goals and Murgh Makhani which they give to the bloke and the lady.

They all live happily ever after.

Ah, isn't that a song?

What does the Sheep get to do then?

 

[Dave the OAP]

then they go to a chariot race...?

And I whip your arse again Roman!!!

Judah Ben gaffer
F1 Chariot racer - All Black Horses!



BTW I dont wanna be the Innkeeper, I wanna be the Choir singing carols n stuff ( like I was this weekend!!!)

 

[Hatterlovesbrighton]

Strike as the baby jesus.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

then they go to a chariot race...?

After a brief Chariot race, DTG refuses them entry..."There is no room at the Inn, you will have to sleep in the shed", (pointing towards a cardboard cut out of Selhurst held up by Adrie)

 

[Titanic]

There is the briefest of cameo roles for a specky kid in a toga to be Quirinius, the Roman Governor of Syria - he needs to send a decree that a census should be taken. Not a big part - but essential to the plot nevertheless.

 

[Perry Milkins]

And I whip your arse again Roman!!!

David please...

That was a long time ago and we were both very drunk...have you still got the leather basque and the high heels?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

And I don't want to be Joseph either - he's a muppet. If my girlfreind got knocked up by another fella, there's no way I'd be traipsing off to Bethlehem with her - she'd be out on her ear.

 

[Perry Milkins]

Ah, isn't that a song?

What does the Sheep get to do then?

To make noises in the barn...and gambol around

 

[Titanic]

It's also slightly remiss BH, not to have staged at least a brief representation of the Angel Gabriel visiting the betrothed virgin Mary.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

There is the briefest of cameo roles for a specky kid in a toga to be Quirinius, the Roman Governor of Syria - he needs to send a decree that a census should be taken. Not a big part - but essential to the plot nevertheless.

OK, Titanic (AKA Queerness or something), announces a census (insert before scene 1)

 

[Perry Milkins]

And I don't want to be Joseph either - he's a muppet. If my girlfreind got knocked up by another fella, there's no way I'd be traipsing off to Bethlehem with her - she'd be out on her ear.

But wouldn't you believe her if she told you that some geezer called Gabriel told her in the middle of night that it was to be the Immaculate conception?

 

[Dave the OAP]

David please...

That was a long time ago and we were both very drunk...have you still got the leather basque and the high heels?

shhhhhh

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

It's also slightly remiss BH, not to have staged at least a brief representation of the Angel Gabriel visiting the betrothed virgin Mary.

Ok, before scene 1, an angel comes in the night and knocks Shegull up.

 

[Titanic]

OK, Titanic (AKA Queerness or something), announces a census (insert before scene 1)

No way, Jose! I am being Frankinstein or nothing.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

But wouldn't you believe her if she told you that some geezer called Gabriel told her in the middle of night that it was to be the Immaculate conception?

As for that lad - anyone who 'CAME UNTO HER' would get a proper shoeing, too.

 

[Perry Milkins]

After a brief Chariot race, DTG refuses them entry..."There is no room at the Inn, you will have to sleep in the shed", (pointing towards a cardboard cut out of Selhurst held up by Adrie)

grief...15 fecking laps of the Circus maximus thank you!!

 

[Dave the OAP]

Can I just put in at this point, the Shepherds were being visited by some bloke with huge wings and a fiery glow and told to get their sorry arses to bethlehem, where the daddy of all shepherds was about to be born.

Btw they were on their way to Bethlehem/nazareth to pay taxes on the carpentry Joseph had flogged the previous fiscal year.

Our friend CarWash would have done their tax retuen for them, but hadn't been born yet