NSC Nativity Play.

[Perry Milkins]

So, Scene 2...

Buzzer, Fourteenth Eye and Tom Hark shuffle in wearing rags...TLO's voice Booms out of the 10 watt P.A. "A Child is born in Bethlehem this night, He is the king of the Jews"

....

(choir) HARK NOW HEAR THE ROMANS SING..THE SCRIBES AND PHARISEES RUN AWAY

altogether now....

 

[Shegull]

I know what, Mary....I'll sing you a song to calm your nerves


all together now:

The angel Gabriel from heaven came,
With wings as drifted snow, with eyes as flame:
"All hail to thee, O lowly maiden Mary,
Most highly favored lady." Gloria!

"For know a blessed mother thou shalt be,
All generations laud and honor thee;
Thy son shall be Emmanuel, by seers foretold,
Most highly favored lady." Gloria!


THIS IS YOUR BIT MARY....SING........

Then gentle Mary meekly bowed her head;
"To me be as it pleaseth God," she said.
"My soul shall laud and magnify God’s holy name."
Most highly favored lady." Gloria!

Of her, Emmanuel, the Christ, was born
In Bethlehem all on a Christmas morn,
And Christian folk through-out the world will ever say:
"Most highly favored lady." Gloria!


I'll sing the Tenor Line!

I am trying to have a baby here - sake


Aaaaggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh if that bloody Gabriel ever comes near me again I'll wrap his bloody wings around his neck


aaagggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pantpantpantpant

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Sir, Sir the stage lights are setting fire to Buzzer's hair Sir!

 

[Dave the OAP]

I am trying to have a baby here - sake


Aaaaggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh if that bloody Gabriel ever comes near me again I'll wrap his bloody wings around his neck


aaagggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pantpantpantpant

keep it down...you'll set the f***ing cows off again!!!

 

[Shegull]

altogether now....

Oi I haven't had the baby yet - its only the 17th you know

 

[Perry Milkins]

I am bored now....all the punters have gone home....can I be one of Herods men who go and kill the first born male of every Jew...please please please

Since when did you want to work for Al-Fayed? Oh Herod's...

 

[Dave the OAP]

Since when did you want to work for Al-Fayed? Oh Herod's...

I am going to get my kalishnikof and huge sabre just in case BH changes his mind

 

[Dave the OAP]

Oi I haven't had the baby yet - its only the 17th you know

shut up bitch and push!!!!

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Sheep! We need Sheep!

Mary has deliverd Jesus, DTG is pissed and everyone is shouting../.come on NSC, lets get back to the true meaning of Crissmuss.

So with no volunteers to be Shepherds I suggestn a bloke in a Cardiff shirt walks across the stage, can of Magners in one hand, spliff in the other...

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Sir, Sir the stage lights are setting fire to Buzzer's hair Sir!

Is he or isn't he??

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

With a final heave, Shegull delivers a steaming baby Jesus onto a bed of straw.

Buzzer and his mates turn up and start throwing shapes.

Al decides that the Romans have better Roads and therefore should inherit the earth..

A|ll cast members assemble on stage, wearing bits of toot as costumes. All Sing "It's all about you" by McFly

Merry Christmas One and All.

 

[Titanic]

Sir, sir, why is that donkey making that strange noise, sir ?

 

[Dave the OAP]

parents shuffle out muttering

" I could have gone to the pub shiela" " Leave it out dave, its only once a year"

" Wans't my Justine just fabulous as a Kangaroo Dahling...she stole the show"

 

[Perry Milkins]

What is all that white stuff on your costume gaffer? Don't tell us it is candlewax like last time!

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

parents shuffle out muttering

" I could have gone to the pub shiela" " Leave it out dave, its only once a year"

" Wans't my Justine just fabulous as a Kangaroo Dahling...she stole the show"

Actually mate, I would love it if,as the lights went down, you walked out in your big Russian hat and shouted "Death to Invention"

That would top and tail it for me.

 

[Dave the OAP]

Actually mate, I would love it if,as the lights went down, you walked out in your big Russian hat and shouted "Death to Invention"

That would top and tail it for me.

The hat will be making a welcome return this Friday as I hear it will -6 on Friday night

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Why not just grow your hair?


*coat*

 

[Shegull]

Errrrrrrrr excuse me is that it. You mean to say that I had to spend the past couple of hours sitting on a donkey, my waters breaking and soaking the poor animal, being shuffled around from pub to pub, dragging staggering Joseph out of said pubs, being sent from stable to stable, screaming my little heart out with every gut wrenching pain I had to endure, lying on a bed of straw showing my bits off to everyone on NSC and in the audience not able to have a nap after delivering this steaming hot baby onto said bed of staw, no disposable nappies and don't even start me on my cracked nipples.


WHERE'S ALL MY BLOODY PRESENTS. YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST GIVEN ME SOME FRANKINSENCE OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT

I quit

 

[tedebear]

Errrrrrrrr excuse me is that it. You mean to say that I had to spend the past couple of hours sitting on a donkey, my waters breaking and soaking the poor animal, being shuffled around from pub to pub, dragging staggering Joseph out of said pubs, being sent from stable to stable, screaming my little heart out with every gut wrenching pain I had to endure, lying on a bed of straw showing my bits off to everyone on NSC and in the audience not able to have a nap after delivering this steaming hot baby onto said bed of staw, no disposable nappies and don't even start me on my cracked nipples.


WHERE'S ALL MY BLOODY PRESENTS. YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST GIVEN ME SOME FRANKINSENCE OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT

I quit

gin and tonic? I'm f***ed off enough with being cast as a kangaroo - I mean seriously how the heck does that stretch my acting career....I can see what Dave says in terms of my bouncebackability and tail skills but seriously, I really can say alot more than "click click click theres someone stuck down the well click click click"....

 

[tedebear]

oh and ps - you've got some straw stuck in your whoosy-whatsit...