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More than any other time of year people get their NUTS out at Christmas. What NUTS are you partial to....

The one on the left will do me.

RUDOLPH van Nistelrooy Roque SANTA Cruz

Oh no you wouldn't

A TURD from a BIRD should not be heard, let alone seen.

3 pages of Christmas songs and not one mention of: What is wrong with you people?

KNOBIN MAN Persie

Mmmmmm.... doughnuts.

Just looking through the La Manga website when I came across their latest Footballers tournament. The Albion life must be easy enough that they can all still walk around a golf course as we seem about the most represented team. Shame about Fozzie's performance and astonished that Case made it...

Poulsen got a 3 match ban and has been reported by some Danish student to the police for violence (bloody stoodents). Although unlikely to be charged they have to consider the case. In the meantime he has grovelled apologetically on all the TV stations and in all newspapers. The fat Dane that...

Great things... Had one with my cruciate ligament op. Combined with a happy pill I could feel the vibrations and sensation of the surgeon hammering the nail into my knee all through by body while looking at it. I even thought it was fascinating watching him pull the length of muscle outside of...

At 5.50 an hour you were cheap Les.

Why? Are you spotty?

The guy that lamped the ref (or cuffed his ear) was a Dane living in Sweden and got released today from custody. He said he couldn't remember anything because he'd had 15 - 20 beers. LIGHTWEIGHT. The prosecutor wants 3 months jail, but looks like he'll get off with a fine. The debate in Denmark...

Just got back from the game. Perhaps the most ridiculous game I've been to alongside the famous Brighton Orient Goldstone game. Denmark 3-0 down at half time. 42,000 absolutely shitfaced Scandinavians. 3-3 after 75 minutes, Tomasson misses open goal to make it 4-3. Poulsen lamps a Swede in the...

A splurt of MANJIZZ lightly rubbed in with a Mickey Mouse Elastoplast placed on top.

COLIN obviously. As in Charles COLIN Dickens

The police were BARKING up the wrong tree...

Proof if ever there was that too much WANKING makes you blind.

He'd swallowed all his E's and drunk all his T's and told you the next meeting would be at SUS SUDIO, where he was recording his next pile of SHITE.