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We're already playing kamikaze football.

That'll be £150 for Kemy once you've sewn two together.

Welsh w****r. Hope he finds out she's had more blokes than he's had clubs. Or is it the other way round?

They are sold in the club shop, I think.

Dear Paul, Please can you use the Albion's world renowned scouting system to find my first wife so that I can get back all the cash she nicked out of my account. Ta.

Exciting player or football equivalent of the Oozlum bird? He's probably never going to be a 90 minute player and certainly not in the same league as Vicente but hopefully the best is yet to come.

Season's greetings. Time for a bit of photoshop fun....... I'm sure some of you can do better.

Sammy Lee coming in for a one month emergency christmas loan as an elf.

Pay off Hyypia?

Good news: Ernest banned from Millwall game Bad news: Big Hilda to lead protest

I think there could be a need for a one off payment for introductory training into the search facility so that users can confidently check how many times a subject has been discussed.

Real tree prices are outrageous. Seen some at 8 quid a foot.

He's going to be a beast of a player very soon. Only just 19, made a few of our lot look a bit silly.

Shocking!

Walton, Holla, Toko, Paddy & March in the squad is good news. Hopefully a decent turnout on a cold night. Will Hyypia be interested enough to attend? Will Wenger be there? I've got my long-johns on and my pie money. I'll be looking to see if Toko is as bad as Hyypia thinks he is.

Bishan Bedi

Q: How do you spot an extrovert Finn? A: When talking to you, he stares at your feet instead of his own

Don't tell em all about the back route! We don't want a procession of transit vans coming down the A283. It's reserved for nutjob motorcyclists who think they're Barry Sheen.

Did anyone else think the pies seemed lighter on Saturday. My steak pie didn't ooze with filling like previous ones. What is the legal pie weight at a football match and are we seeing Piglets pies decreasing in size the same way as choccy bars are in the shops.