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Kind of true. They actually only have £175,000 between them. But by factoring in the value of Zaha (currently £63.4bn), they then become among the world's richest individuals.

The most shocking thing about this story is the fact the sub editor resisted the headline "Has Poyet gone for a Burton?"

Can't really blame him, subconsciously he probably avoids rr words so as to not draw attention to his speech impediment.

He can f*** off forever as far as I'm concerned, for his comments after THAT 4-4 game.

Fascinating geezer.

Oh, and Leon Knight. He was little. And annoying.

The fact football didn't exist before the Premiership/Sky. Sports like basketball where it's just metronomic scoring at both ends for hours on end: you score, they score, you score, they score, you score, they score, zzzzzzz. Scott McGleish. Henman Hill. Murray Mount. "Come on Tim!" from Daily...

Nice way to give your child a stable life too - aged 6, she's now been looked after a local Balinese gardener and his wife cos Mummy and Daddy are in prison.

Great recovery, gives us a chance of saving the game from a dire position yesterday. Of course we will still STEAMROLLERED, but hey...

Top bloke.

I once got so obsessed with Throwing Muses that I followed a tour round. This involved also enduring the support act (Band of Susans) about ten times in a fortnight. I'm sure they're fine and I've nothing against them personally, but by about the third or fourth time I'd already more than had...

Now you're just being ridiculous. The idea is to suggest something that's almost believable.

The following all are poised to re-sign for us: Leon Knight, Bobby Zamora, Glenn Murray.

"Storrrrrerrrrr! Stuart Storrrrrrerrrrr!!!"

Great band. Dalliance a personal favourite. The whole George Best album...

1) The first time I attended a Brighton game, I supported the opposition. They were Liverpool, the best team in the country, and my Dad took me to see them, aged 12, as my first ever football experience. (In fairness, I'd grown up in Canada, so hadn't been steeped in football since birth, like...

Pink shirts are less offensive than Look at my f***ing red trousers!

She should change her name from Jessica Ennis to Justfucking Enormous. How she expects to wobble her lardy bulk down even five metres of the Olympic track is beyond me.

Like anyone is worried about facing the perennial shower of shite that is England at a tournament....

I'd say: – Eat at a restaurant overlooking the Dubai Fountains, to see the nightly sound & light show. – Go to Abu Dhabi for a day, especially the mosque, if you want to learn more about Arabic culture. The Bastikaya part of Dubai has traditional houses, souks etc, worth a half day's wander...