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I've just looked up my original complaint. It said something along the lines of... "an increase in drink driving which is likely to lead to more COLLISIONS with members of the local BAT community" I used CAPITALS as well. I can't believe they've FALLEN for it.

Right, I've missed out on these for far too long. I'll see Marc's 50p each way and raise it to a MASSIVE quid each way.

:wave:

Yes. Yes I would.

At least it's not Lancashire.

Untrue. She really is stunningly, jaw droppingly beautiful -- much more so than she looks on telly.

I work three desks away from Sophie Raworth. Nuff said.

What's the answer? I'd say no foul, no penalty, but book the defender for unsporting conduct.

A letter has just arrived from the director of planning and environmental services at Lewes District Council. :D:D:D:D Extra special praise must go to LDC for their use of CAPITALS.

I do actually know a couple of Mancunian United fans. Not glory hunters, just ordinary types who've supported one of their two big local teams since birth, like any normal person. Until now it's actually been quite cheap to get into Old Trafford -- I think some tickets were £13 a couple of...

FILTHY Laura

Presumably this is home cup games only? Could you just flog the tickets if you didn't want them?

Well I'd be put off by the immediate six months in a tent in Helmand, with 120 degree heat, not much food and Johnny Taliban trying to blow me up, personally. But best of luck Kev. It's RUBBISH being shat on by a bird.

My parents, and my granny, are all very nice. And they're South Africans. Anyway, someone I used to play cricket with had played for Sussex 2nd XI a couple of times with Kepler, who was indeed a miserable fucker and would sit in his car at the back of the pavilion rather than the dressing room...

Toby Peirce Rajesh Rao Mark Newell Neil Taylor (c) James Carpenter Andy Patterson (wkt) Carlos Remy Bradleigh Donelan Kevin Innes Martin Thursfield Alex Edwards

MPs, as a whole, are supposed to reflect all of the electorate. Far too many of them are middle aged men who haven't been inside a school in possibly twenty years. This is not what the population is like.

No seriously, I voted for Phil. I had a fantastic holiday in Greece this year. It was 45 degrees, the hotel had a beautiful pool which overlooked mountains and the sea, and next door was an excellent selection of restaurants and bars. The only trouble was, the only CD in the pool bar was the...

Jack Vettriano

Adams' fantastic one-handed catch to dismiss Stewart Law at Liverpool.

I work three 11-hour night shifts every two and a half weeks (have done for two years). According to various bits of science I have read, my life will be shorter by up to four years if I keep doing this. Often manage 8 hours during the day, in between them, though; which is more than I get when...