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So they've ordered 3.5m tests but don't know if they work yet? Does anyone understand this???

Only two completely different messages. You work in a factory. Wake up in the morning think 'I should stay home' Boss rings up expecting you to come in and says the official government advice (on its website) says you can go in to work if you aren't able to work from home. What do you do...

9pm: only key workers go in 10.30pm everyone can go in except those who can work from home How the f**k are people to know what's expected? It's a massive communication failure. This is the current advice:

Eh? We should have been in lockdown weeks ago.

You can't deny that it's confusing, to say the least, to say at 9pm that ONLY key workers can go in, and then at 10.30pm to say ANYONE who can't work from home can go in. There will be plenty of workplaces expecting staff to turn up. And plenty of workers who feel they are expected to turn up...

What is the answer to the first 'No' (for non-key workers)? Govt at 9pm: Stay at home Govt at 10.30pm: Go to work What a mess.

Read the tweet above. The government changed its mind in the space of 90 mins. It is NOT forcing companies to close. It is up to them to determine whether what they do is 'essential'. Your boss expects you to come in. What do you do? Mike Ashley is keeping Sports Direct open. It is not an...

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Your boss tells you to come in. You say no. You get sacked?

Downing Street making it up as they go along. No-one is sure whether they need to go to work tomorrow or not.

From the Friday before last. Why is this man still in a job?! https://twitter.com/JoMicheII/status/1241464428169703424?s=19

In Italy you have to queue for food shops, keeping about ten feet apart - and only five people allowed inside at any one time. Also strict limits on purchases. Seems a sensible approach.

He's a she and she can't believe we've not taken more action, that pubs and restaurants are still open, nowhere is being locked down. True what you say about the Italuan demographic but I think their health system was better equipped to cope than ours. There's nothing to suggest it won't be as...

This from my friend in China:

As a low-flying wanker in an office, all I can say is true. A lot of these jobs were being classified as 'unskilled' by the goverment a few weeks ago. Now they are depending on them.

It's a DIY do it at home test. You pay online and they courier it round.

It is. I effing have it (as certain as I can be without testing). I personally think everyone will get it sooner or later.

Proof that widespread testing works. We aren't even testing NHS workers with symptoms: https://amp.ft.com/content/0dba7ea8-6713-11ea-800d-da70cff6e4d3 (behind paywall)

I have a friend who works in pathology and asked him why more testing can't be done The issue is that they have to send the tests off to get verified so they can't be done locally. He has only just been given a budget to buy the necessary equipment but it seems it will be a few weeks before they...

I bet Boris secretly wishes he'd never won the election now. It's really exposing how hopeless he is.