jokes that are so bad they're good

[Mendoza]

What does D.N.A. stand for?










National Dyslexic Association

 

[Garage_Doors]

Bill said to Ben, flob ba lob ba lob a lob bob a lob

Ben said, if you really loved me you would swallow it.

 

[Garage_Doors]

What goes plink plink fiz ?

Two babies in an acid bath.

 

[Garage_Doors]

Two nuns going down a cobbles street on bicycles towards the convent.
One says to the other, I've never cum this way before.

 

[Garage_Doors]

Why is little weed always wet ?

Because Bill & Ben flob a lot.

 

[Garage_Doors]

More of a dilemma than a Joke,

If you are in a pit up to your neck in Monkeys diarrhoea, and someone throws at you a bucket of gorilla snot, do you duck ?

 

[brakespear]

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader once more confront each other:

'Luke, I know what you have got for your birthday'
'How. father?'
'I have felt your presents'

 

[Dr Q]

Name three fish beginning and ending in K:

Killer Shark
Kwik Save Chip Shop Haddock
Kilmarnock (it's a Place)

 

[Horney]

Patient - " Doctor, when I wake up in the mornings I always have a compulsion to sing ' Delilah ' and last thing at night I always find myself singing ' The green green grass of home '
Doctor - "Ah, I know the problem. You are suffering from Tom Jones syndrome."
Patient - " Is it rare ? "
Doctor - " Its not unusual..... "

 

[seagullsoverlincoln]

Caster semenya,the female world athletics 800m champion was asked what it felt like
to have to take a gender test "to be honest,its a bit of a kick in the bollocks" she replied

 

[Spun Cuppa]

Did you hear about the woman with three fannies?

She got shagged left, right and centre...

 

[Spun Cuppa]

Two nuns driving down a country lane, when Beelzeebub jumps out of a bush onto their bonnet...

Sister Bernadette: 'Sister Mary. Show him your (you're) cross...'

Sister Mary out of the window: 'GET OFF THE f***ing BONNET!!!!!!!!'

 

[Smith DID score]

What do you call a dear with no eyes

No idea.

what do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs ?

Still no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no bollocks?

still no f***ing idea!

 

[csider]

What do you call a pig with a spade up it's arse??



Dawn French.......

 

[Smith DID score]

What do you call a bloke with a spade in his head?


Doug


What do you call a bloke without a spade in his head?

Douglas



What do you call a bloke with a rabbit up his bum?

Warren

 

[Garage_Doors]

What do you call 5 dogs with no bollocks ?

Spice girls.

 

[smalldino]

whats the difference between a fridge and a fanny?



A fridge wont fart when you pull the meat out..

 

[RSBLUEANDWHITEARMY]

Caster semenya,the female world athletics 800m champion was asked what it felt like
to have to take a gender test "to be honest,its a bit of a kick in the bollocks" she replied

I Like

 

[trancing]

what do u call a man with no shins ?

tony

 

[Iamapen15]

What's blue and fucks children?
Me in my lucky blue suit!

What's the difference between a lorry load of sand and a lorry load of babies?

You can't unload a lorry load of sand with a pitchfork...