jokes that are so bad they're good

[The Timekeeper]

What do you call a one eyed dinosaur....... Doyoufinkhesawus

What do you call a one eyed dinosaurs dog........ Doyoufinkhesawusrex

What do you call a dinosaur with the shits..... Megasorearse

 

[hart's shirt]

"We had two windmills on our farm, but we had to take one of them down as we didn't have enough wind for two."

 

[Gonzo]

Man has an appointment for a check up with the doctors. Doctor says to the man "You're going to have to stop wanking sir!", "why!?" replies the man, to which the doctor says "because I'm trying to examine you!"

 

[The Large One]

Cursory - a school where you learn to swear

Countryside - the murder of Piers Morgan

 

[Brovion]

Man: 'My wife's off to The West Indies tomorrow.'

Friend: 'Jamaica?'

Man: 'No. She's going of her own accord.'

That's funny because my wife went to the EAST Indies!

Jakarta?

No, she went with British Airways.

 

[fatbadger]

Can't be arsed to check the whole thread to see if these are already here:

What orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick

 

[Spun Cuppa]

A bloke got his willy out in front of his new girlfriend and she started laughing and asked, 'Who are you going to please with THAT!?', and he replied, 'ME!'

After they'd been together a while, she said he suffered from premature ejaculation, to which he replied, 'Funny that. It's always bang on time for ME!...'

 

[hopper_182]

i saw jonathon ross in a department store last week. he was acting suspiciously, looking at the kitchen utensils, so i walked up to him and said 'careful youll probably get caught if you try and steal anything'

he replied 'well thats the whisk im willing to take'

 

[defrocked priest]

A priest had lost his cock( male hen) and didn't know where to find it. At the next sermon he asked the congregation, "Has anyone got the cock"? All the men stood up.
"No,no, I mean has anybody seen the cock". All the women stood up.
"No,no, I mean has anybody seen my cock". All the nuns stood up.

 

[Frutos]

Cursory - a school where you learn to swear

Countryside - the murder of Piers Morgan

Is this the New Definitions/Uxbridge English Dictionary round of ISIHAC now? If so:

Archery - lying

Intercontinental - someone who has wet themselves on various continents

Hiding - a bell you can't reach

 

[nobody's dupe]

A nun ran in to a police station screaming, "I've been graped. I've been graped."
The officer behind the desk asked, "Do you mean raped?"
"No she replied. There was a bunch of them."

A streaker ran through a convent.
Two nuns had a stroke.

 

[bhaexpress]

Infants enjoy their infancy and that's why Adults enjoy adultery.

 

[Insel affe]

Whats white and lives in the Australian bush ?

Skippy the bush kangafridge !

 

[FamilyGuy]

What do you call a fish with no eyes ?

fsh.

works better vocally


What do you call a dear with no eyes

No idea.


what do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs ?

Still no idea

again works better vocally

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no dick?


Still no f*cking idea!

 

[FamilyGuy]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef.

What's the difference between an Egg and a Wank?


You can beat an Egg!

 

[FamilyGuy]

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no dick?


Still no f*cking idea!

Note to self, always read the entire thread before adding a response

 

[Eggman]

What did the zero say to the eight?






Nice belt.

 

[Shoreham Beach Seagull]

A man walked in to a bar
"ouch"

 

[Norman Potting]

A gorgeous blonde walked into a bar and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one.

 

[WhingForPresident]

Whats brown and sticky?
Anal.