jokes that are so bad they're good

[Muzzman]

What's green and invisible?


This cabbage >>>>

 

[Norman Potting]

How many ears has Captain James T Kirk got?

3 - left ear, right ear and a final front ear.

 

[Icy Gull]

A policeman comes home to find his wife in the middle of a threesome.

He says "Ello, ello,ello"

 

[The Wizard]

How many ears has Captain James T Kirk got?

3 - left ear, right ear and a final front ear.

Never heard that one.

 

[Icy Gull]

A man is sitting on a tube tearing up a newspaper into tiny pieces. Eventually a guy in the carriage cannot contain his curiosity any longer and says " excuse me, I must ask, why are you doing that?"

"keeping the elephants away"

The guy says " but there aren't any elephants"

The man tearing paper replies " I know, efficient isn't it?"

 

[Andrew]

Why did the elephant cross the road

Because it was the chicken's day off.

 

[Mendoza]

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a pint










and a mop

 

[Frutos]

What did the unwell octopus have to pay for his prescription?

£6

 

[Mendoza]

Whats the dentists favourite time




tooth hurty

 

[crasher]

This witticism derives its humourous content from the homonyms "wears" and "where's". As the listener (or aural recipient) of the jest is unable to distinguish between the two identicallly-sounded words in isolation, they must rely on their context in the surrounding sentences to weigh and select the correct meaning.

Given that the most common delployment of the sounds involved in the phrase "where's/wears the soap" is the former version, the aural recipient initially understands that the first nun is asking the second to identify the location of the soap. However, after the succeeding line ("Yes, doesn't it?" This initial interpretation is shown to be fallacious. The aural recipient must then revisit the initial phrases to identify and select and alternative meaning. At which point, he or she, may successfully conclude that the alternative homonym "wears" is the intended sense.

Armed with this new comprehension, the aural recipent may then re-interpret the scene in the bath and understand that the initial dialogue is not a request for information on the location of the soap but rather an observation on the diminishing mass of the object when subjected to a certain unspecified action.

The aural recipient may further invest this unspecified action with an interpretation of their own, possibly relating to the stimulation of the female genitalia. This is assumed, in the context of the witticism, to be more amusing as it is surmised that sexual activity for members of monastic orders and nunneries, is severely restricted.

At this point the joke's aural recipient may wish to laugh, smile or otherwise signal their appreciation of the humorous verbal duplicity at work in the sentences delivered by the joke teller.

 

[Frutos]

This witticism derives its humourous content from the homonyms "wears" and "where's". As the listener (or aural recipient) of the jest is unable to distinguish between the two identicallly-sounded words in isolation, they must rely on their context in the surrounding sentences to weigh and select the correct meaning.

Given that the most common delployment of the sounds involved in the phrase "where's/wears the soap" is the former version, the aural recipient initially understands that the first nun is asking the second to identify the location of the soap. However, after the succeeding line ("Yes, doesn't it?" This initial interpretation is shown to be fallacious. The aural recipient must then revisit the initial phrases to identify and select and alternative meaning. At which point, he or she, may successfully conclude that the alternative homonym "wears" is the intended sense.

Armed with this new comprehension, the aural recipent may then re-interpret the scene in the bath and understand that the initial dialogue is not a request for information on the location of the soap but rather an observation on the diminishing mass of the object when subjected to a certain unspecified action.

The aural recipient may further invest this unspecified action with an interpretation of their own, possibly relating to the stimulation of the female genitalia. This is assumed, in the context of the witticism, to be more amusing as it is surmised that sexual activity for members of monastic orders and nunneries, is severely restricted.

At this point the joke's aural recipient may wish to laugh, smile or otherwise signal their appreciation of the humorous verbal duplicity at work in the sentences delivered by the joke teller.

It's the way you tell 'em.

 

[Helen Chamberlains Quim]

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff?






Tequila!

 

[Easy 10]

This witticism derives its humourous content from the homonyms "wears" and "where's". As the listener (or aural recipient) of the jest is unable to distinguish between the two identicallly-sounded words in isolation, they must rely on their context in the surrounding sentences to weigh and select the correct meaning.

Given that the most common delployment of the sounds involved in the phrase "where's/wears the soap" is the former version, the aural recipient initially understands that the first nun is asking the second to identify the location of the soap. However, after the succeeding line ("Yes, doesn't it?" This initial interpretation is shown to be fallacious. The aural recipient must then revisit the initial phrases to identify and select and alternative meaning. At which point, he or she, may successfully conclude that the alternative homonym "wears" is the intended sense.

Armed with this new comprehension, the aural recipent may then re-interpret the scene in the bath and understand that the initial dialogue is not a request for information on the location of the soap but rather an observation on the diminishing mass of the object when subjected to a certain unspecified action.

The aural recipient may further invest this unspecified action with an interpretation of their own, possibly relating to the stimulation of the female genitalia. This is assumed, in the context of the witticism, to be more amusing as it is surmised that sexual activity for members of monastic orders and nunneries, is severely restricted.

At this point the joke's aural recipient may wish to laugh, smile or otherwise signal their appreciation of the humorous verbal duplicity at work in the sentences delivered by the joke teller.

I still don't get it.

 

[itszamora]

What did the unwell octopus have to pay for his prescription?

£6

'Six quid' is I believe what you were looking for here.

 

[Frutos]

'Six quid' is I believe what you were looking for here.

Yes, I was requiring the reader to actually think a little to grasp the joke if they didn't already know it.

 

[Acker79]

'Six quid' is I believe what you were looking for here.

Heh, I was thinking it had something to do with the ocotpus having two missing limbs. Six quid makes more sense.

 

[Munchkin]

Two peanuts walking down the road..

One was assualted.

 

[Rambo]

How do you milk a mouse?
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You cant the bucket wont fit under it.

 

[Munkfish]

Two nuns in the bath, one says wears the soap, the other replies,
Yes doesn't it ?

:US:

 

[Munkfish]

Jeremy beadle had a tiny cock
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On the other hand it was massive.