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[Albion] Help the club by suggesting more palatable ways they can screw every last penny out of us.







sully

Dunscouting
Jul 7, 2003
7,933
Worthing
Must be a way of sourcing the old 2p locks for toilet doors from the 70s/80s.

Have you not heard the expression “spend a penny”?

These locks were not “from the 70s/80s”, but far more historical than that. The penny referred to was pre-decimalisation.
 




Bwian

Kiss my (_!_)
Jul 14, 2003
15,898
£1 per loyalty point as they get added to your account.

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk
 


Djmiles

Barndoor Holroyd
Dec 1, 2005
12,064
Kitchener, Canada
The club will introduce electric park and ride buses and suddenly they’ll be a £10 levy on every car using the service.
 




Guy Fawkes

The voice of treason
Sep 29, 2007
8,295
Sell tickets that allow people to occupy the empty seats of someone who leaves early prior to half and / or full time (most will get to see a good 15 minutes of the match)

Not only would it mean more fans in the ground and more opportunity to sell food and drink to these ticket holders as they are waiting for a seat to become available (plus the added benefit of more fans to sell merchandise to)
 


Dick Swiveller

Well-known member
Sep 9, 2011
9,522
Have you not heard the expression “spend a penny”?

These locks were not “from the 70s/80s”, but far more historical than that. The penny referred to was pre-decimalisation.
Thanks for ruining the nuance in my not so funny joke. Strangely, I didn't come down with the last shower of rain and was aware of this fact. I thought the 2p ones I remember would be a better line considering the dig at Barber so 2p would be funnier than 1p. Should have known better on here.
 


Hampster Gull

Well-known member
Dec 22, 2010
13,465
£1 per loyalty point as they get added to your account.

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

I like it, buy your loyalty points. No limit, just keep spending. Straight to the top for the richest fans, and keeps the money coming in.
 




Knocky's Nose

Mon nez est retiré.
May 7, 2017
4,183
Eastbourne
Thanks for ruining the nuance in my not so funny joke. Strangely, I didn't come down with the last shower of rain and was aware of this fact. I thought the 2p ones I remember would be a better line considering the dig at Barber so 2p would be funnier than 1p. Should have known better on here.

maxresdefault copy.jpg
 




Hampster Gull

Well-known member
Dec 22, 2010
13,465
:D Probably. But being on here is a bit like spending time with a bloke at work - you can't make any throwaway comments or exaggerate for comic effect without a 20 minute diatribe about why you are wrong. And often his diatribes end like those on here - with Brexit.

We were lied to
 




Bwian

Kiss my (_!_)
Jul 14, 2003
15,898
I like it, buy your loyalty points. No limit, just keep spending. Straight to the top for the richest fans, and keeps the money coming in.
No...you get charged for each point added to your account-regardless of whether you use them or not. Extra points available at a cost.

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,627
The Fatherland
Flask tax. Pay £100 a year to bring a flask into the AMEX. Offer does not apply to all those Albion supporting ISIS terrorists who will use the flasks as bombs and who caused the ban in the first place.
 


Guy Fawkes

The voice of treason
Sep 29, 2007
8,295
Booths for those who think that they can do a better job managing the team can go and pay to take over control of the team during the match, changing things to how they think - They can be charged a fee to do this and also mean that we wouldn't need to spend money on a real manager any more so it's a win / win money maker for the club (well until relegation, which will almost certainly follow seeing how clueless most who think that they could do a better job managing actually are)
 




Perkino

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2009
6,051
The kiosks become cashless and instead only serve you in exchange for a token which can be purchased from vending machines around the stadium.

This way they can serve more than 10 supporters per till at half time
 


Acker79

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Nov 15, 2008
31,921
Brighton
Flask tax. Pay £100 a year to bring a flask into the AMEX. Offer does not apply to all those Albion supporting ISIS terrorists who will use the flasks as bombs and who caused the ban in the first place.

I'm pretty sure I would pay that. :blush:
 


PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,580
Hurst Green


Napier

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2009
2,139
Devon
After each defeat or poor performance, the scapegoat player of the day gets put in the stocks and "fans" can take turns throwing wet sponges, paying £10 per sponge for the privilege.
 




Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,888
West west west Sussex
Make the players pay subs.
 


Weststander

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2011
69,203
Withdean area
After each defeat or poor performance, the scapegoat player of the day gets put in the stocks and "fans" can take turns throwing wet sponges, paying £10 per sponge for the privilege.

Ironic sponsorship of Locadia. A Platinum package at £499.99 for zero assists and zero goals per match. Gold at £249.99 for 5 passes to opponents in a game.
 


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