[Albion] Help the club by suggesting more palatable ways they can screw every last penny out of us.

[Titanic]

Exit turnstiles operated by contactless payment card only - charging £1 per minute for exit before the final whistle - with a minimum of £5 built-in for added time.

 

[Hampster Gull]

Bid to get that noisy and irritating fan near you (we all have them) moved to another area. Via the Albion App (downloadable for just £9.99) you put in a bid, they have to counter offer to stay in their seat and you have to move. The highest bidder wins, money goes to the club.

 

[BNthree]

Poo pass. Seadon ticket holders will automatically be enrolled into a £50 cost for using the toilet cubicles. If you never intend to poo at the Amex you can opt out by sending a photocopy of your season ticket to the ticket office, by post, along the requisite opt out form.

 

[Weststander]

Engraved names on seats on a small brass plate, for the duration of a s/t.

One off fee of £199.99, with a £19.99 per season Brasso surcharge.


1901 members offered (low carot) gold plated versions for £499.99, with a generous certifcate personally signed by PB and an equally generous waiver of the Brasso surcharge.

 

[8049]

Trademark phrase "Barber Out" and charge NSC a licence fee for its use.

 

[MattBackHome]

£5 per match wi-fi.

Again automatically added to every season ticket for our convenience.

Sent from my STF-L09 using Tapatalk

 

[Springal]

Could just opt out of offers perhaps and just accept that the club is a business and needs to try and make running costs as low as possible despite premiership money (which is a nice to have and not necessarily a constant)

However, realistically

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Exactly. Tony Bloom has already shown he has more than enough money to keep us going, why do we need to do this stuff ?

 

[Cheshire Cat]

£20 exit fee to be charged when you leave after a game. Add £5 for every minute if you leave early.

 

[Weststander]

£2,999.99 to spend a weekday behind the scenes with PB at Lancing HQ.

Please note, this does not include access to PB’s daily ‘milk them dry’ video conferences with Michael O’Leary and Mike Ashley.

 

[Stat Brother]

Encase the stadium in plastic cladding then charge us fans a removal fee of £10 per sq m.

The club keeps the cladding and attempts to find someone wanting a pooh load of second hand cladding.

 

[maffew]

Pay a tenner and do a treasure hunt round the Amex for things that went missing and never turned up (and probably never will). Money for old rope and no cost to company

1) FA cup final money
2) Ulloas penalty ball
3) Palace Defence (extra revenue for Palace fans, though might be offset against the policing costs to allow them in)

 

[AmexRuislip]

A sponsored sit in after the final whistle goes.
First to twitch, leaves early

 

[Diablo]

£1 a pee !!

 

[Stat Brother]

£1 a pee !!

There had better be a Middle Aged Man concession.

 

[Jack Straw]

Everybody has to arrive at the stadium nudee, but once inside, thanks to the clubs generosity, you can purchase a full array of branded clothing that nearly has a 10% discount.

Are you the naturist friend of the bloke with the dead fox?

 

[Hampster Gull]

Auctions, the answer is auctions.

Every seat for every match is sold via silent auction.

You bid what you are prepared to pay for a seat. The club can chose the minimum acceptable bid, the floor price.

This is also for season tickets too.

That should suck a few extra quid out of the masses for many matches. Capitalism at its best.

Works on the way up the leagues, perhaps not on the way down. Best to stop relegation from the EPL.

 

[Hampster Gull]

There had better be a Middle Aged Man concession.

No, MAM pays more because of all the dribbles and subsequent cleaning

 

[LowKarate]

Auctions, the answer is auctions.

Every seat for every match is sold via silent auction.

You bid what you are prepared to pay for a seat. The club can chose the minimum acceptable bid, the floor price.

This is also for season tickets too.

That should suck a few extra quid out of the masses for many matches. Capitalism at its best.

Works on the way up the leagues, perhaps not on the way down. Best to stop relegation from the EPL.

I am Paul Barber and I endorse this message.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Rent a seat in the concourses.

 

[Kalimantan Gull]

If you have a concession-priced season ticket, and put it on the ticket exchange, the club will refund you less than a full-priced ticket but still sell the ticket on at full adult price, even if the person buying the ticket is also a concession..


... oh hang on, they already do that...