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Bell Cheeses at work











lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969
NSC Patron
Jun 11, 2011
14,071
Worthing
I think Thursday was national "Slap your annoying coworker day".
Hope everyone took advantage?
I took the day off otherwise there would have been blood on my hands...

Tell the truth, you took the day off in case you got slapped-----------a lot!:wave:
 


AmexRuislip

Retired Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
34,752
Ruislip
On a lighter side from today's result.
After arriving home this afternoon I saw that my neighbour was mowing his lawn, nothing wrong in that I agree.
But I have seen a lot of daft things, but he then decided to start mowing the grass / moss that has grown across his tarmac drive.
You could here the blade being mullered in the process.
Barmy :shootself
 




timbha

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
10,506
Sussex
Come on reporters, there must be some stories of office downtime because of orange skies
 


Cian

Well-known member
Jul 16, 2003
14,262
Dublin, Ireland
We've got one noise machine of a different type. He uses a tiny fan at his desk that sounds more like a dremel, rather than ask to open a window (the AC in the building is shot - we were meant to be out to a new building by October but its been delayed and nobody will pay to get it fixed). He also turns off the lights as he "doesn't like" flourescent lights, meaning we work in the dark most of the time.

Has broken his leg. Office is dremel free and lit for the first time in ages.
 










I work in an office within a building at Gatwick. I like my colleagues so no Bell Cheeses to post about, but the toilets here are shared by all the other rooms in the building.

Yesterday this note was stuck on the inside of the door exiting the mens...
Screen Shot 2017-10-17 at 12.43.23.png

I felt like this thread was the best place to share it.
 




dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
55,530
Burgess Hill
I work in an office within a building at Gatwick. I like my colleagues so no Bell Cheeses to post about, but the toilets here are shared by all the other rooms in the building.

Yesterday this note was stuck on the inside of the door exiting the mens...
View attachment 90293

I felt like this thread was the best place to share it.

Was on a cruise ship recently and there were signs actually instructing people to use a paper towel to open the door to the bogs..................also see loads of people do this at work. In both cases though, there is a bin next to the door for the purpose.................
 








clarkey

Well-known member
Jan 3, 2006
3,498
Just received an email from someone who signed it as "A" and wants to jump on a call with me tomorrow.

I really wish people would just **** off sometimes

We've got a CIO who does this, signs off every email with his initial. But it's lower case which is surely more effort when writing on a phone, to turn capitals off.

When on his laptop he's got his formal email signature, in which he's spelled his own name wrong which no-one's mentioned for the year I've been here.
 


8049

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2015
341
Berkshire
The company I'm contracting with at the moment was recently taken over. Before the takeover it had one of the best cultures I've every encountered. That's crumbled in less than 6 months as the new company has lumbered in and antagonised people enough that around 60% of the staff have left, most of them voluntarily. While the whole approach of the new leadership team has shown a high level of bell-cheesery, the communication approach of the new CEO is on an altogether different level. Here is a snippet of a company blog he wrote:

"One of the reasons I do not unduly worry about attrition is because most of our voluntary attrition is generally because of self-assessed misalignment. And misalignment uncured creates a "suboptimal vector" issue"

I had to read this several times to work out what it means (basically, if you don't like it here, you can leave and I won't care). It is management-speak on a whole other level with almost none of the words actually meaning anything. Needless to say, this latest communication has led a number of the permanent staff to express an increased level of self-assessed misalignment.

The only good thing to come out of the takeover is the fact that I have a story for my favourite NSC thread.
 


dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
55,530
Burgess Hill
The company I'm contracting with at the moment was recently taken over. Before the takeover it had one of the best cultures I've every encountered. That's crumbled in less than 6 months as the new company has lumbered in and antagonised people enough that around 60% of the staff have left, most of them voluntarily. While the whole approach of the new leadership team has shown a high level of bell-cheesery, the communication approach of the new CEO is on an altogether different level. Here is a snippet of a company blog he wrote:

"One of the reasons I do not unduly worry about attrition is because most of our voluntary attrition is generally because of self-assessed misalignment. And misalignment uncured creates a "suboptimal vector" issue"

I had to read this several times to work out what it means (basically, if you don't like it here, you can leave and I won't care). It is management-speak on a whole other level with almost none of the words actually meaning anything. Needless to say, this latest communication has led a number of the permanent staff to express an increased level of self-assessed misalignment.

The only good thing to come out of the takeover is the fact that I have a story for my favourite NSC thread.

Sounds like the kind of guy that, one day, will be sat on his own in the office with everyone else having left the company saying to himself 'I am still right'............................
 


McTavish

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2014
1,587
Sounds like the kind of guy that, one day, will be sat on his own in the office with everyone else having left the company saying to himself 'I am still right'............................
Doubt he'd say, "I am still right," I expect it would be more, "I am delighted that my analysis viz-a-viz the attrition metric has been confirmed by 100% mis-alignment assessment action."
 




smudge

Up the Albion!
Jul 8, 2003
7,376
On the ocean wave
Just happened.
New(ish) colleague, "You're not very sociable, we never see you in the smoking room".
Me. "I don't smoke".
Him, "You don't have to smoke to come for coffee & chat in the smoking room".
Me, "It stinks, check your breath, it stinks like your breath".
Him, "Ah, you English & your BANTER"

He's Croatian.
 




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