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Bell Cheeses at work
- Thread starter Iggle Piggle
- Start date
Norman Potting
Well-known member
Thanks gents, the very thing I tried (twice) and miserably failed to post a couple of days ago.
Classic 'inmail' from someone (not a contact of mine, and now not going to be either) on LinkedIn today (names removed to protect the Bellcheese)
The senders profile is straplined with "A highly motivated marketer championing transformational change and innovation"
Dear
It would be great if you would connect with me and allow me to introduce myself personally. We are the technology partner providing infrastructure and support to *** and they have asked me to identify some key stakeholders in wealth management for a webex around the latest adoptions and advantages of the front end to back office wealth management system ********. With the latest adoption by ***** ********** and the solution under consideration at ****** for 2018 there are some key business drivers to communicate.
Please share your thoughts with me. Of course a meeting or webex would be on the time or date that suits you best.
**** off.
The senders profile is straplined with "A highly motivated marketer championing transformational change and innovation"
Dear
It would be great if you would connect with me and allow me to introduce myself personally. We are the technology partner providing infrastructure and support to *** and they have asked me to identify some key stakeholders in wealth management for a webex around the latest adoptions and advantages of the front end to back office wealth management system ********. With the latest adoption by ***** ********** and the solution under consideration at ****** for 2018 there are some key business drivers to communicate.
Please share your thoughts with me. Of course a meeting or webex would be on the time or date that suits you best.
**** off.
Eric Potts
Well-known member
What's wrong with being a stakeholder ?
Doesn't look much like the profile pic of the 'marketer' [emoji23][emoji23]
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greyseagull
New member
First time I've jumped on this thread because, whenever I've seen it on page one, I've genuinely always assumed that it was about taking balls of cheese to work (Babybel, etc.)
If you do that, just make sure you put them in a tupperware container with your name on, and a warning to others about touching them.
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greyseagull
New member
I am a bit concerned that I've got 269 pages to get through just to make sure no one has mentioned me
Lower West Stander
Well-known member
Just received the following email from Head Office:-
"After many rounds, and immeasurable amounts of hard work, only eight innovative teams remain for the final round of the Global Innovation Competition.
During the intense incubation period, our eight final teams have been working diligently to prepare viable and resilient business cases to impress and excite the senior leaders judging the competition. Teams have been participating in Agile and Design Thinking training, working with mentors, participating in hackathons and more, as they look towards proving they have developed solid business prototypes. The preparation period is quickly coming to an end, with Global Finals scheduled to take place on xxxxxxx"
Sadly I am not in one of the teams - sounds like a complete hoot though.
"After many rounds, and immeasurable amounts of hard work, only eight innovative teams remain for the final round of the Global Innovation Competition.
During the intense incubation period, our eight final teams have been working diligently to prepare viable and resilient business cases to impress and excite the senior leaders judging the competition. Teams have been participating in Agile and Design Thinking training, working with mentors, participating in hackathons and more, as they look towards proving they have developed solid business prototypes. The preparation period is quickly coming to an end, with Global Finals scheduled to take place on xxxxxxx"
Sadly I am not in one of the teams - sounds like a complete hoot though.
Wow. Corporate wankery at it's best........
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spring hall convert
Well-known member
Started a new job recently which involves a tea/coffee run that I somehow got myself involved in.
We've got one person who has a genuine medical condition who gets a pass and some people who aren't involved in it. Fair enough.
However, there is one girl who never does it as 'someone always gets in there first' but will always have one when asked. Is this a common thing?
I know it shouldn't but it's driving me crazy already.
We've got one person who has a genuine medical condition who gets a pass and some people who aren't involved in it. Fair enough.
However, there is one girl who never does it as 'someone always gets in there first' but will always have one when asked. Is this a common thing?
I know it shouldn't but it's driving me crazy already.
It's amazing how many ways there are to write the word C**T
Yes, I think that person is in every tea/coffee round. She will probably do the round once a month, and make a MASSIVE deal out of it. Obviously she'll get it totally wrong too.
MattBackHome
Well-known member
- Jul 7, 2003
- 11,873
Common scenario
The standard response is to make light jokes about it ("My round again is it Sarah?") and steadily increase the passive aggressive content of the jokes ("Don't worry Sarah, you just sit there, I'll do it") until they become all out barbs ("Legs not working again Sarah?"), all the while seething to yourself to such an extent that it actually ruins the taste of every tea you drink.
That or deliberately making Sarah's cuppa with less than accurate precision, meaning that she won't enjoy it when it's your round.
Talking of corporate wankery. I went to a conference in San Francisco last week and we had to watch this video before EVERY talk.
Industry buzz words at its finest.
Lower West Stander
Well-known member
Classic today.
We have a desk move this weekend and the email has just gone round asking us to clear our desks by Friday at 5 in anticipation.
When I asked the secretary who is co-ordinating it where to put our stuff, she said there shouldn't be any as we have a clear desk policy. I politely pointed out that; 1) No one knew this and 2) if she cared to look round our open plan trading floor with 100 people on it she would see that it was not being adhered to as each desk had at least a ton of paper on it. It was then that the office "Business Manager" who is the only person on the entire floor to have nothing on his desk to tell me not say anything too loudly as auditors might hear.
I politely pointed out for the second time that if he cared to look round the office he would see that a lack of knowledge of this policy was somewhat irrelevant - I then took him to the office kitchen where I boiled his head slowly in the microwave.......
Text book bellcheesery.
We have a desk move this weekend and the email has just gone round asking us to clear our desks by Friday at 5 in anticipation.
When I asked the secretary who is co-ordinating it where to put our stuff, she said there shouldn't be any as we have a clear desk policy. I politely pointed out that; 1) No one knew this and 2) if she cared to look round our open plan trading floor with 100 people on it she would see that it was not being adhered to as each desk had at least a ton of paper on it. It was then that the office "Business Manager" who is the only person on the entire floor to have nothing on his desk to tell me not say anything too loudly as auditors might hear.
I politely pointed out for the second time that if he cared to look round the office he would see that a lack of knowledge of this policy was somewhat irrelevant - I then took him to the office kitchen where I boiled his head slowly in the microwave.......
Text book bellcheesery.
spring hall convert
Well-known member
Of course. Much obliged.
MattBackHome
Well-known member
- Jul 7, 2003
- 11,873
My lord that is fantastic. There's almost too much bellcheesery in that video.
Worth just starting with the flashing tiles with random words on; "Life Under Water"... "4th Industrial Revolution"... "CAPEX"
hate, hate, hate these corporate videos. Noticed others filming on phones - for the same purpose as you perhaps!!