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Bell Cheeses at work



Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patron
May 8, 2007
13,102
Toronto
hate, hate, hate these. Noticed others filming on phones - for the same purpose as you perhaps!!

Just to note, I didn't film that. There was some BELLCHEESE in front of me at the first keynote speech who decided to hold his phone up and film the entire thing. So f***ing annoying, especially as every speech was being filmed professionally and posted online at the end of the day.
 




Wrong-Direction

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2013
13,634
[emoji23] working in an office sounds hilarious!

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk
 


Talking of corporate wankery. I went to a conference in San Francisco last week and we had to watch this video before EVERY talk.



Industry buzz words at its finest.


That is truly awesome in its dreadfulness - looks like something out of 1984 crossed with a North Korean Party "Conference".
 


Bigtomfu

New member
Jul 25, 2003
4,416
Harrow
Classic HS gone mad scenario this week.

So we are an office of c1,000 people in the West End of London. We have a small Costa franchise in our basement which also acts as the staff canteen and therefore caters for breakfast lunch and dinner.

As part of their breakfast service there's a large industrial toaster - think foreign hotel conveyer-belt jobbie - with a myriad of bread products, most of which require some form of personalisation to toast.

In order to achieve this they have happily had three large bread knives for use to cut/slice/split/retrieve stuck items from the back of said toaster for approx 9 years.

Last week they were removed because a single member of staff reported them as a health and safety risk to staff who may injure themselves when using them and also because what if a terrorist broke into our building and wanted to use them to mount an attack on St James's Palace which happens to be next door.

Literally un-****ing-believable.
 


dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
55,518
Burgess Hill
Classic HS gone mad scenario this week.

So we are an office of c1,000 people in the West End of London. We have a small Costa franchise in our basement which also acts as the staff canteen and therefore caters for breakfast lunch and dinner.

As part of their breakfast service there's a large industrial toaster - think foreign hotel conveyer-belt jobbie - with a myriad of bread products, most of which require some form of personalisation to toast.

In order to achieve this they have happily had three large bread knives for use to cut/slice/split/retrieve stuck items from the back of said toaster for approx 9 years.

Last week they were removed because a single member of staff reported them as a health and safety risk to staff who may injure themselves when using them and also because what if a terrorist broke into our building and wanted to use them to mount an attack on St James's Palace which happens to be next door.

Literally un-****ing-believable.

FFS......what kind of firm would allow that [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Oh.
 




The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 11, 2016
26,182
West is BEST
Talking of corporate wankery. I went to a conference in San Francisco last week and we had to watch this video before EVERY talk.



Industry buzz words at its finest.


I sometimes work with the events industry and it never ceases to amaze me the amount of money that is spent on this rubbish. And it only increases year upon year as once you start commissioning videos, using huge screens, huge venues, catering, gift bags etc It is very hard to downsize the following year.
On top of which that video you had to endure actually tells you nothing you shouldn't already know if you're in the industry or indeed if you just live on planet earth: Mobile tech is a big deal.

It reminded me of one of those propaganda show videos put out by Mega Churches like Hillsong. Creepy and pointless.
 








BrianWade4

Well-known member
Aug 17, 2010
3,152
A nice bit of South London
Common scenario

The standard response is to make light jokes about it ("My round again is it Sarah?") and steadily increase the passive aggressive content of the jokes ("Don't worry Sarah, you just sit there, I'll do it") until they become all out barbs ("Legs not working again Sarah?"), all the while seething to yourself to such an extent that it actually ruins the taste of every tea you drink.

That or deliberately making Sarah's cuppa with less than accurate precision, meaning that she won't enjoy it when it's your round.

Even better, dunk your privates in her mug prior to adding tea
Take particular care to smear your bellend around the rim
Bonus if a few hairs fall in
That'll learn her.
 


dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
55,518
Burgess Hill
Talking of corporate wankery. I went to a conference in San Francisco last week and we had to watch this video before EVERY talk.



Industry buzz words at its finest.


Oh wow. What a heap of annoying, pointless crap. That bit of film alone will have cost a big 5 figure number to put together........probably involved a 'creative marketing group' 'brainstorming concepts' at an 'offsite' for 3 days.

'Hey, we could use hashtags !'

'Brilliant Tarquin !!'

Etc
 


Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
Talking of corporate wankery. I went to a conference in San Francisco last week and we had to watch this video before EVERY talk.



Industry buzz words at its finest.


That is simply awful. It gave me headache watching it with the sound turned down, and the graphics made me feel queasy, so God knows what damage it could do a full volume... Who came up with that terrible song?
 






Beach Hut

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 5, 2003
72,315
Living In a Box
Just received an email from someone who signed it as "A" and wants to jump on a call with me tomorrow.

I really wish people would just **** off sometimes
 


MattBackHome

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
11,873
Contractor in the office sat behind me today.

1. Humming and 'doo-do-doo'ing to himself at a low, but audible volume
2. Breathing really heavily and loudly through his nose.
3. Hasn't taken his coat off yet (he's been here 3 hours) and it's not cold.

Hell.
 




Normal Rob

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
5,795
Somerset
I get this horsesh!t every fortnight....

I just wanted to touch base on my email below and would highly appreciate your feedback on my call request; wherein we can share details of our solutions and a relevant case studies with you. I promise, will keep it crisp and productive for both of us.

Would you be available sometime this or next week to have a quick call (10 - 15 mins only)
 






Munkfish

Well-known member
May 1, 2006
12,088
Just received the following email from Head Office:-

"After many rounds, and immeasurable amounts of hard work, only eight innovative teams remain for the final round of the Global Innovation Competition.

During the intense incubation period, our eight final teams have been working diligently to prepare viable and resilient business cases to impress and excite the senior leaders judging the competition. Teams have been participating in Agile and Design Thinking training, working with mentors, participating in hackathons and more, as they look towards proving they have developed solid business prototypes. The preparation period is quickly coming to an end, with Global Finals scheduled to take place on xxxxxxx"

Sadly I am not in one of the teams - sounds like a complete hoot though.

Do you work for Llyods?
 








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