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Why is Christer Warren not playing on his own up front?

He doesn't have a proper Cumbrian accent, but Carlisle fans LOVE him. Because, basically, he's one of them. I know he doesn't have the panache of Hawesy or Mike Ingham, but he makes for a surprisingly enjoyable listen. Unbelievable, I know, but I used to know a blind Carlisle fan who would go to...

If you had no financial commitments I can imagine it being fairly easy. However, getting a new National Insurance number would be impossible, wouldn't it?

They are all appalling. Especially Lee, the twunt. I work in the cosy, cossetted public sector so I don't know what people who actually make money for a living are like. Are they all as utterly stupid?

He's a bit rubbish at being prime minister, though, isn't he?

A chum of mine used to work in the London Road branch. Apparently they had NO security locks on the front doors, or CCTV cameras. As a result the only way they could prevent overnight break-ins was leaving lots of large items up against the front doors. As you might realise, this was NOT very...

The former footballer Steve Claridge has been convicted of dangerous driving. Coventry Crown Court heard that Claridge -- who is also a presenter and summariser on Five Live -- was stopped on the M42 in December 2006. The jury was told he'd driven at over a-hundred miles an hour in treacherous...

It's clearly f***'S sake. Just like it's for God's sake and for Christ's sake.

Nah -- he's lived in Carlisle for as long as he can remember. He got into it by being a sexual health nurse (!) and doing hospital radio....

That'll be Derek Lacey. A man who once MISSED a goal while bending down picking up his pen -- and got the score wrong until half time when someone corrected him off Ceefax.. He's BRILLIANT.

CUM-BRI-AAAAAAA, milord. CUM-BRI-AAAAA!

Oh god, PLEASE Deano. Though it's more than I expect of you. And I mean that in a good way.

Does he still have this on the go? Anyone know?

I bloody hope he does. I also think he and Adams would be an absolutely ASTOUNDING double-act. But then I put myself in his shoes. I love and feel dead proud to work for my employer -- but if I was shafted that badly and could get a good job elsewhere, I know what I'd do. I'd f*** off.

I would LOVE this.

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Minute's silence?

It's ESSENTIAL to use a bin as the stumps, by the way.

I used to play alleyway cricket at my friend Richard's house. In PATCHAM. Break a window, or top-edge it into next door, and you're out, was our rule.