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Dont knock problems with prosthetic limbs mate! My mate got woodworm in his false winkle! Very unpleasant.

I think youve got the money shot there buddy.

Let George Do It.

That would be a hell of a commute to Manchester.

I dont know. I knew some people in the balcony seats so was looking at them and waving most of the time.

He wasnt the one who kept on shouting for them to play Burning Bridges or Pictures Of Matchstick Men between every song was he?

Little bloke in a fight? Shurely shome mishtake.

He must be dynamite in an interview to keep on getting all these jobs. We had a deaf kid at school who used to start fiddling with his hearing aid when he got bollocked and the teachers would suddenly stop with their bollocking, blame someone else and leave him alone. The above has no...

I was forced back early when I was signed off once due to the sick pay ending. I had to sign some waiver saying that I was there by my own choosing or something and that if anything happened it was down to me sort of vibe. At another job when I was signed off (Im delicate) I was told I wasnt...

Why cant I get my Aunt Fanny a ticket for this game?! She went past the Goldstone by mistake in 1974 accicidentally on a tuesday morning which makes her a supporter of more than 33 years standing. The club have treated her like dog muck by not awarding her 6 tickets for this game! Have I jumped...

Not so. Stinkers Bridge does 110 daily in Buxted. He calls it elevenses.

I had exactly the same thought yesterday! Can anyone confirm if you could hear someone shouting 'Raffle tickets..?' in the background as the call was made?

Not all the time little maddies missing.

That Lee Hughes only served 3 years for that or something similar didnt he?

I would to suggest Bob Crow for the role. He knows a lot about strikers.

My fat friend said there were loads of people out watching the kettle as it passed through Crwborough.

A load of Arsenal came down on the Friday night and were naughty down West Street. The policemen locked them in the subway at the bottom of west street that goes out to the beach over night. I have heard (and I dont know if its true) that some Brighton naughty boys got themselves locked in there...

Im Glad The Bastards Dead (I Didnt Like Him) - Will Conrad and The Westerners.