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Rudd on the ropes. Just look at that lovely green floor on that Hastings gym - someone's thrown a bit of cash at that....

He's been polished and brushed up, he's like a shiny new pin. No veneer in 'ere - he's bossing it like a guv'nor.

That's the advice of a man who's made mistakes in the past. Your counsel is noted, sir.

Woah, that's counter intuitive. You think I should? OK, another glass of wine then. I'll put a couple of Fever Trees in the fridge too. Need to be strong now #prayfortinycowboy

Jack Straw seems pleased with himself.

I'm beginning to feel tired. What's better: tea or crisps?

Hooray, the absolute genius Neil Hamilton. Really lovely to see him again - would love to shake his hand and hear his thoughts on architecture and also morality.

The exit polls are FAKE NEWS. Conservative landslide after all. Night everyone.

Katie Hopkins said she'd leave the country if Labour won. Would a hung parliament do? Please??

My God. Presumably Rudd is drifting, maybe sliding down Harley Shute.

Agreed. I still go back quite a lot - if I ever see in a bloke in an Albion shirt, I'll honk my horn.

It's gonna be a gallows humour kind of night. Bring 'em on! Get Gyles Brandreth back too.

:lolol: sorry! Used to live in Riverhead. Had to leave - confusing mixture of lovely people and absolutely terrible snobs. Feel very sorry for the teachers at Riverhead school - pushy parents galore. Annual fete used to raise £18k every year. Mad place.

Could be an absolute shambles negotiating Brexit if no-one has power. Cameron calls the referendum; May calls the election. At least they'll make the history books. Probably not for the reasons they were hoping.

Come on Sunderland and Newcastle: RUN

At least we've got an interesting evening. Was fearing a washout. No love for Michael Fallon - Sevenoaks is a dreadful place.

Ooh fancy. I've got lots of crisps. Lots. And apples.

First glass of wine, so hopefully won't burn out too early. Exit polls bare minimum.

It's certainly my thing - a pathological need to conform, whilst, at the same time, wanting to be different. So confusing and ultimately frustrating, but we all have our issues...:down:

Hey everyone! Hoping you're all exercising your democratic right to vote and will do so in an entirely predictable indie echo chamber kind of way. Got a bad feeling, but I'm very much enjoying the Chemtrails EP - should be up most people's street (60s girl groups/C86/but new)...