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Swindon AGAIN - this election's really putting that town on my radar.

Got it from Amazon - Solution 30 Lens Cleaner: smear-free and smells like a dream. Big can - lasts for years without noticeable deterioration in quality.

If you're going down, you might as well p*ss everyone off by demanding a recount.

The bloke with the dirty glasses has made me realise that my own glasses could do with a bit of cleaning. Don't worry - I have a spray, perfumed.

Once again, incredulous that Darlington is a fiercely-contested seat, but happy to accept - it is what it is.

I'm not sure I've watched much TV in the past hour - too busy snacking and posting incisive commentary. That's how I roll.

I have too much booze - you'd be shocked. We need a fairer system of redistribution - I'd be willing to give up some of my Pisco to make a stronger NSC and anyone who wouldn't is mean and selfish.

Going to have an apple. Intend to cut it up with one of those metal squashers that divide it into slices. If you don't hear from me for a while, I may have cut myself doing it. My direction of travel here is west to east. No serving hatch between kitchen and sitting room.

:drool:

Come on! Love to see her in a Carry On film.

Mate, see above: save yourself a few quid and create an interesting guessing game at dinner parties.

Thornberry: that is absolutely blinding smuggery - you can't argue with that performance, although she's stumbling a bit now she has to formulate a new sentence.

Toilet Duck and Lemonade is actually very similar to Limoncello. I keep a bottle of Toilet Duck in the freezer for a refreshing summer spritz.

All these Labour victories, getting boring. Swindon's bucked the trend - went through there a few weeks back. Not impressed by the "old town" - disappointing.

These North Eastern constituencies are jam hot with their counting - well done them!

Me too. Brighton Kemptown is buffering in the most alarming way.

I'm genuinely surprised that there are 15,000 Tories in Sunderland.

Why is she still going on like a politician - we've all voted, you can be normal now, chill out, have a giggle.

I've NEVER been quietly confident in Croydon Central. Usually hoping the train doors won't open.

Knows his audience - old pro.