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Got my goat too. You wonder if they'd won it whether he'd have insisted on receiving the cup too, along with some other executive suits, before allowing the players a brief look.

He uses a gym?! Haven't seen him for years, but that doesn't stack up.

This group is very poor.

PRISON BAKE. Ice-cool Michael Scholfield gets himself committed to prison in order to rescue his brother from death row. Sadly his plan begins rapidly to unravel, as he realises his complex and cryptic all-body tattoo does not, in fact, reveal an escape route, but merely the recipe for Carrot...

Howe to Look Good Naked. Former Chancellor of the Exchequer Geoffrey Howe makes a promise you really don't want to see fulfilled. What Knot to Wear. Trinny tries a slip hitch bowline, while the fat one gets her reef lines tangled.

Silent Widnes – Amanda Burton is baffled as another corpse is found in Britain's quietest rugby league loving town.

Coats – Join Nick Crane and Neil Oliver as they tour Britain's ever-fascinating wardrobe. This week: From Jackets to Kagoules.

Lactation lactation – Kirstie Allsop helps another couple choose the perfect nursing bra.

Pushing Dairies – Anna Friesian plays a right little cow.

My name is Sam Tyler. I was hit by a car, and when I woke up it was 1999. Are we mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, we can go up.

Respect to OGH, he's never given less than 100% and I wish him all the best. Likewise Kerry, who's been at the Albion forever - the last survivor of Hereford 97. It's the end of an era.

A sad day. What's the betting the new sponsors are in some way linked to developing Falmer...

You'd almost be better not buying any new players, just treat the season as a money-making exercise that'll set you up for the next decade – and perhaps one day a more realistic stab at the Premiership. In fact, why not drop your shirt sponsors for a season, and put "We're only here for the...

Sums up the entire nonsense of clubs being seen as financial ego-trips by billionaires. Shitatwatra thinks he can buy success, and that football that's simple.

Remember at Port Vale a couple of years back, they made all the Vale fans leave before they'd let the Albion back onto the pitch for the presentation and celebration. There were a couple of twats who deliberatley lingered refusing to go, so it took forever. But it was worth the wait!!

If they're going give back the points, the FA should use the same maths Bates used to 'repay' all those creditors like St Johns Ambulance, catering firms, programme printers and the like: For every quid we owe you, you'll get 11p. We'll then carry on as if nothing's happened, spunking a whole...

Little surprised that Arsenal vs Spurs is only 17th. At least I know they have a rivalry, wheras Wolves vs West Brom... well, yeah, I'd guess they do, being neighbours and all, but it's not exactly well-known in the wider football world is it.

Ikea Game

T in the Park My Bloody Valentine