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Liverpool Victoria Championship - Division One County P W L D Bat Bowl Deduct PtsM Durham 1 1 0 0 5 3 0.00 22.00M Warwickshire 1 0 0 1 5 3 0.00 12.00M Nottinghamshire 1 0 0 1 5 0 0.00 9.00M...

That's your lot Sussex 302 (L J Wright 54, H H Streak 5-72) & 417-2 dec (M W Goodwin 214 no, M H Yardy 159 no) v Warwickshire 449 (I J L Trott 109, N V Knight 73, J O Troughton 58, A G R Loudon 51, R S C Martin-Jenkins 4-78) Sussex (9pts) drew with Warwickshire (12pts)

Sussex v Warwickshire Hove Sussex 417 for 2 (135.4 overs) M H Yardy not out 159 M W Goodwin not out 214 Extras 28

Hove: Sussex v Warwickshire M W Goodwin scored his 200 in 414 mins off 343 balls, hitting 22 fours and 2 sixes.

Sussex v Warwickshire Hove Sussex 371 for 2 (124.2 overs) M H Yardy not out 134 M W Goodwin not out 193 Extras 28

Sussex v Warwickshire Hove Sussex 345 for 2 (118 overs) M H Yardy not out 126 M W Goodwin not out 175 Extras 28

Sussex v Warwickshire Hove Sussex Second Innings Tea C D Hopkinson c Loudon b Carter 7 R R Montgomerie run out 9 M H Yardy not out 118 M W Goodwin not out 159 Extras...

Not true any more Shropshire. It was only ever high treason which carried the death penalty. So that was for killing, or raping, the monarch or his/her consort. And the Human Rights Act 1998 did away with the death penalty even for that.

It's not true. They're all Glaswegian and dour as f***. Also, the sandwiches (and the cheese) are rank. But they are free.

Just as well you were unsuccessful, otherwise we'd have to call you Dr Sir Lord Bracknell.

A few weeks ago I urinated next to Sir Matthew Pinsent. Do I win a prize?

I've just secured a ticket for Alexandra Palace on May 1st :clap2: :clap2:

Which paper? The only recent study to mention the BNP said that 25 per cent of people who'd responded to other opinion polls said they had thought about voting for the BNP. Which is not the same at all.

True. Recently they cooked up a two-week old story from the Sunday Telegraph, which had been comprehensively rubbished almost as soon as it was published.

From left: Would, wouldn't, would, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't.

Is it a bit sea-fretty down there? Cos we'll skittle 'em if that's the case.

I'll see your Gordon Cowans and go for Norman Cowans (yes, OK, it was cricket. Not football. But he was still shit)

The Carlisle fans I know definitely remember. And they still hate us cos when we played them during foot and mouth, some well-meaning but misguided Brighton fans took up a bucket collection for the farmers! I can't imagine the reception at Brunton Park being all smiles, to be honest.

No, no I don't.

Having had the remotest of connections with the bloke during my career I have to say that he's one of the biggest arseholes in football. He's entirely wrapped in the money-grabbing nature of England's most odious club, Newcastle United. The top brass at St James's don't give a shit that...