I just punched a cat
- Thread starter Easy 10
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NMH
Banned
May I suggest catching the cat, stuffing a wodge of rags up it's arse soaked in petrol, and then release the creature once lit?
It will be unlikely to return, I'll wager
It will be unlikely to return, I'll wager
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
Give it a 5 second head start, that evens it out.
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
May I suggest catching the cat, stuffing a wodge of rags up it's arse soaked in petrol, and then release the creature once lit?
It will be unlikely to return, I'll wager
Ooh. Not always a good idea. The little shitting machine may decide to run into your house/shed/garage. Best bet is simply a gentle lob over the garden wall, and into the path of any passing car.
You big girls blouse.At least do it properly.Rat poison in cat food.It works
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
no, its very slow!!
Sad thing is its the worst of the lot in the shitting stakes.
In which case, all bets are off. Release the dogs mid-shit.
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
You big girls blouse.At least do it properly.Rat poison in cat food.It works
I didn't say that was MY best option. A little search of previous anti-cat threads may bring up such previous masterpieces as:
Vinegar and Baking Powder "mines".
Bleach in water pistols.
Electricity applied in many, many different methods.
Pressure switches (the end result is your own choice).
I also favour a good kick up the arse of the offender, or borrowing a friend's dog which has a track record in killing the fuckers.
Rat poison in cat food is only good if the little fucker crawls home and dies, otherwise you have to get shot of the corpse.
I don't shit in my garden, I very rarely shit in anyone else's - why should I tolerate a cat that I don't own doing it?
Happy Seagull
Barca Cule
Easy, do you not own an air rifle?
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
Air rifles are good for sport, at least it gives the cat chance to get out of the way, or limp home with a couple of ounces of lead inside. However, why not forego the sporting option, and go for a nice cheap Purdey or Remington? A Mossberg would also be considered "humane" - quick kill, added bonus of very little left to clear up.
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Banned
My girlfriend's cat went for her rabbit, bad cut on its leg, I said can't we just dab TCP on it and keep an eye on it, oh noooo off to the vets it had to go. £90!!!! And what did the vet say? "Ohh it's fine, just dab some TCP on it and keep an eye on bunny tonight"
F&^@ing cats
GNF on Tour
Registered Twunt
That description just does not match the bearded, wolly jumper wearing liberal bedwetter I have you down as, back to the drawing board then.
Tom Hark Preston Park
Will Post For Cash
- Jul 6, 2003
- 72,358
About the ornament: was it a ceramic abstract thing whose finished form may have resembled a seashell in the eye of some beholders? Or was it intended to be a ceramic representation of a shell, but not very good, hence the term 'shell-like'. Or did it just look like an EAR?
Well?
Gully
Monkey in a seagull suit.
What must be remembered is that cats aren't stupid, at least not all of the time. I had a cat when I was a kid, some of his exploits were posted on here a couple of years ago, he met an untimely death from meningitis at the age of 10...having made the most of his 9 lives.
Anyway this cat, Charlie, had a very good memory. One day he was out in the garden at the precise moment that the chickens were released from their pen for their daily peck. Charlie spied that one of the hens had wandered off on her own and commenced a serious stalking operation, licking his lips cartoon stylee in anticipation of a feathery dinner. However, this was noticed by the cockerell and just as Charlie was about to strike he launched a counter attack on the salivating feline to foil his plans. As a result of this Charlie learnt his lesson, he never again tried to take out a chicken, he would sit and watch them digging up the garden with a look that was a mixture of frustration and disdain.
If you mistreat a cat it will remember you forever and avoid you at all costs, your birdie should be safe from his future attention.
Anyway this cat, Charlie, had a very good memory. One day he was out in the garden at the precise moment that the chickens were released from their pen for their daily peck. Charlie spied that one of the hens had wandered off on her own and commenced a serious stalking operation, licking his lips cartoon stylee in anticipation of a feathery dinner. However, this was noticed by the cockerell and just as Charlie was about to strike he launched a counter attack on the salivating feline to foil his plans. As a result of this Charlie learnt his lesson, he never again tried to take out a chicken, he would sit and watch them digging up the garden with a look that was a mixture of frustration and disdain.
If you mistreat a cat it will remember you forever and avoid you at all costs, your birdie should be safe from his future attention.
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
Has anyone reported Easy 10 yet?
Er -
"Hello, is that the RSPCA? There is a bloke on an internet forum who reckons he punched a cat. His name? Easy 10. Address? Dunno, cyberspace somewhere. Did I witness it? No, he just said he did, and he is really convincing. Did anyone witness it? Well, his cockatiel apparently, but he said he did and I believe him. Do I have his real name? Er, no - is that a problem? Hello....hello....?"
