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Good News Thread



Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
32,479
Brighton
Now THIS is a red card.

funny_soccer.gif
 






Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
We’re just devastated, absolutely devastated’
Fatal cannon blast sends shrapnel more than 200 feet
By Jeremy Pawloski | The Olympian • Published July 06, 2007

LinksComments (131) LITTLEROCK — Devan Vyborny, 8, was standing in his grandparents’ backyard, about 100 feet behind a metal cannon, when a family member attempted to fire it.


Related Stories & Links
Family of boy killed by cannon sues Thurston County for $47 million (related story)
In an instant, a family Fourth of July celebration turned to tragedy.

A thunderous blast shook nearby houses and the cannon blew apart. One piece of it struck Devan in the chest about 8 p.m. He died a short time later.

Neighbor Patricia Emsley said she heard the blast, and then her neighbor’s backyard party was strangely quiet. She said a man she assumes was the boy’s father picked him up and carried him toward the house.

“We heard the explosion, and the sound wave that came after that was quite strong,” Emsley said. “A piece of shrapnel went flying over my fence, into my pasture.”

Pieces of the cannon landed more than 200 feet away, according to the Thurston County Sheriff’s Office, which is investigating the boy’s death.

Fifteen people, including seven children, were at the home in the 6800 block of 105th Avenue, but no one else was hit.

“It’s amazing that only one person was struck,” said Littlerock Deputy Fire Chief Gary Kerker, the first emergency responder to arrive at the home.

Devan was standing with a family member and others when the cannon exploded, according to a witness and Thurston County Chief Criminal Deputy James Chamberlain.

Chamberlain declined to identify the family member who fired the cannon.

Devan was to have started third grade at Seven Oaks Elementary School in the fall. He enjoyed riding his BMX bike and flying kites, said his aunt, Amy Long, at the Vyborny home Thursday.

He loved his cat, Mozine, and enjoyed playing with Legos and reading, Long said.

“We’re just devastated, absolutely devastated,” Long said as tears streamed down her face in the driveway of her brother’s home.

Thursday afternoon, the grandparents’ empty backyard on 105th Avenue still showed signs of an abandoned Fourth of July celebration, with an overturned patio umbrella and a vinyl “Slip ’N Slide” on the ground. Beach towels were laid out to dry on the railing of a wooden deck.
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Les Biehn

GAME OVER
Aug 14, 2005
20,610
Man uses IMDB to ease deviant urges

An unnamed man was seen roaming message forums until the early hours of the evening boasting about director Steven Spielbergs length. He claimed that tables, graphs and conjecture on internet film website The Internet Movie DeBased proved that Spielborgs films were easily the longest films in history. Quoting SpielbergloverIV as outright fact he said 'without a doubt Armistad is the longest film ever made at 43 days, 4 hours and 69 minutes. Second is holocaust comedy Schindler's Pissed at 39 days, 16 hours and 82 minutes'.

However despite claims that it was stonewall fact that Temple of Doom star Jonathan Ke Quan (high kicking love interest Shortround) was injected with a grow surpressing drug so as he would remain looking 12 for the duration of the films 6 year shoot no evidence was offered up by the Spulborgian nut.

However in his heightened state he seemed to run into trouble as he claimed Spuelbarg's latest offering, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Trolls was indeed only 2 hours long, going against all claims by other forum users that the film felt like it had gone on for days. This produced one of the internet's most memorable flounces, an incident that Hollywood intends to turn into a major motion picture with Sperlbig linked to direct.
 
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Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,097
Lancing
Q. Hi, I am a male in my late twenties and have read through previous Q's and A's. I have a varicocele, and have had an unsuccessful embolization procedure and am due for another in the near future, although I would prefer to progress to the surgical procedure to be done with it, as I am reasonably hairy so the prospect of a scar does not concern me.

However, I am much more concerned about my penis size. Although it would appear that I fall into the smaller-medium end of the 'average size', I am still very unhappy. This has greatly affected my self confidence, and I find it hard to (attempt to) form relationships with women with the worry that they will be disappointed with my endowment, or lack of it!! For this very reason I have researched (through search engine) enlargement on the www and have found many sites, with many claims of success and benefits, including healthier prostate, urinary function and potency. Many of the sites use herbal remedies as well as exercises and nutritional changes. There also appear to be books available on this subject too!! However, I am hesitant to pay money for such amateur sites, and was wondering whether you could recommend details of any exercises (e.g. kerdel), remedies or other which might help my penis fitness/health.

Also when my varicocele is effectively treated, will there be any noticeable effects on my penis size (e.g. increased blood flow), and could drug abuse (including nicotine and alcohol) have affected the outcome of my initial embolization procedure?? I would be forever grateful if you could answer these many queries that have been bouncing around my head for a considerable period of time. Thanks. An inoperable womaniser

Les Biehn
 








Les Biehn

GAME OVER
Aug 14, 2005
20,610
Q. Hi, I am a male in my late twenties and have read through previous Q's and A's. I have a varicocele, and have had an unsuccessful embolization procedure and am due for another in the near future, although I would prefer to progress to the surgical procedure to be done with it, as I am reasonably hairy so the prospect of a scar does not concern me.

However, I am much more concerned about my penis size. Although it would appear that I fall into the smaller-medium end of the 'average size', I am still very unhappy. This has greatly affected my self confidence, and I find it hard to (attempt to) form relationships with women with the worry that they will be disappointed with my endowment, or lack of it!! For this very reason I have researched (through search engine) enlargement on the www and have found many sites, with many claims of success and benefits, including healthier prostate, urinary function and potency. Many of the sites use herbal remedies as well as exercises and nutritional changes. There also appear to be books available on this subject too!! However, I am hesitant to pay money for such amateur sites, and was wondering whether you could recommend details of any exercises (e.g. kerdel), remedies or other which might help my penis fitness/health.

Also when my varicocele is effectively treated, will there be any noticeable effects on my penis size (e.g. increased blood flow), and could drug abuse (including nicotine and alcohol) have affected the outcome of my initial embolization procedure?? I would be forever grateful if you could answer these many queries that have been bouncing around my head for a considerable period of time. Thanks. An inoperable womaniser

Les Biehn

A. As you are well aware Uncle Spielberg these problems are wide spread and in this day and age nothing to be ashamed off so therefore we will not correspond with you unless you use your real name.
 


Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,097
Lancing






Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,097
Lancing
Not really you just copied Nibble's rather weak idea and re hashed it.
 




Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,830
Uffern
I have the day off. I've spent it with the kids, we've just watched Toy Story 2 and the bad guy, Al, is the spitting image of TLO.

That's got to be good news...
 








Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,097
Lancing
Day 2

I do Worlds heaviest man is to marry his girlfriend after successful diet

The Worlds heaviest man is to marry his girlfriend after successful dietThe world's heaviest man has announced his engagement after losing nearly half his original body weight.

The happy groom, Mexican Manuel Uribe, said he and his girlfriend Claudia Solis would wed in his home town of Monterrey later this month.

It's truly fantastic news for the 43-year-old who earned his place in the Guinness Book of Records two years ago after tipping the scales at 88 stones.

Manuel, who has dropped an 39 stones, credited his weight loss to the love and encouragement he has received from Claudia.

They have known each other for four years and been engaged for two years. Manuel's weight causes him mobility problems and he hopes to walk again.

He has been following a regime called the Zone Diet - eating carbohydrates, proteins and fats in a ratio of 40:30:30, supervised by a team of scientists and nutritionists.

However, despite the positive impact on his weight, some experts warn that not enough is known about the long-term effects of diets high in proteins. Claudia is though understandably proud of the progress her husband-to-be has made.
 






Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
House burgled over Christmas
From the archive, first published Thursday 27th Dec 2001.

A Sony television worth £1,400 was stolen from a home in Hagley over the festive break.

The set was stolen from a house in Pinewoods Avenue between noon on December 22 and 5.30pm on Christmas Day - Tuesday December 25.

The thief got into the house through a side window.
 


Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,097
Lancing
Ruddy Well Sod Off Nibble :censored:
 


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