Good News Thread

[Arthur]

Is it INEPT to build a football ground that actually complies with current legislation?

No, but that isn't happening is it?

NOTHING is happening apart from the club announcing delay after delay. Funnily enough just as I predicted! Yet still I get shouted down by you buffoons!

How many more statements are their going to be like the one today over the next few years? I reckon at least 3 or 4 yet unsurprisingly none of them will be because of the clubs doing!

 

[Nibble]

ET flops around the world


ET can go home because no-one will notice, as new figures show the new enhanced Steven Spielberg movie is not setting cinemas alight.
ET: The Extra Terrestrial has been re-released 20 years after the original.


ET was released in 1982

However latest figures from Hollywood show ET took just £4.6m in 26 countries over the Easter weekend, reports Screen Daily.



United International Pictures (UIP), who distribute the movie, admitted the figures were disappointing.

UIP chief Paul Oneile said that the figures were towards the bottom end of expectations but were in line with estimates, although the distributor was not expecting "massive" numbers.

'Fan base'

"One possibility is that re-releases need to be cult films," one rival distributor told Screen International.

"You need an in-built fan base. Just being a massive hit is not enough."

The changes introduced by the director include new scenes, digitally-engineered changes to some of the film's famous shots and a remixed soundtrack.

More than 140 shots were reworked or, in some cases, filmed again.

Spielberg has also used digital technology to remove guns from the hands of the police following ET, Elliott and his friends during the film's climactic chase sequence.

One of the movie's most memorable shots, of Elliot's flying bicycle silhouetted by the moon, was also reshot with a child replacing a figurine used in the original version.

And a bathroom scene featuring ET and Elliott - originally deleted - was reinstated and the range of ET's facial expressions widened.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

I would not regard ET as a flop really would you Nibble.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

No, but that isn't happening is it?

NOTHING is happening apart from the club announcing delay after delay. Funnily enough just as I predicted! Yet still I get shouted down by you buffoons!

How many more statements are their going to be like the one today over the next few years? I reckon at least 3 or 4 yet unsurprisingly none of them will be because of the clubs doing!

Nothing is happening?

:thud:

Have you failed to notice that, on Monday, the Club obtained possession of the site? And that, on Tuesday, they sent archaeologists in to check that it is OK to start work? And today they have announced that a deal has been done with the Buckingham Group to build the thing?

 

[Nibble]

I would not regard ET as a flop really would you Nibble.

Are you actually reading the articles or just looking at headline and reacting? :thud:

 

[Brighton till i die]

NIPPLE - you are such a WIND up merchant!!

 

[Nibble]

NIPPLE - you are such a WIND up merchant!!

How dare you!

 

[Nibble]

Local Idiot To Post Comment On Internet
August 6, 2008 | Issue 44•32

HAZEL PARK, MI—In a statement made to reporters earlier this afternoon, local idiot Brandon Mylenek, 26, announced that at approximately 2:30 a.m. tonight, he plans to post an idiotic comment beneath a video on an Internet website.


Mylenek, a moron, prepares to publicly address the "dumbest shiz [he's] evr seen!!!1!"
"Later this evening, I intend to watch the video in question, click the 'reply' link above the box reserved for user comments, and draft a response, being careful to put as little thought into it as possible, while making sure to use all capital letters and incorrect punctuation," Mylenek said. "Although I do not yet know exactly what my comment will entail, I can say with a great degree of certainty that it will be incredibly stupid."

Mylenek, who rarely in his life has been capable of formulating an idea or opinion worth the amount of oxygen required to express it, went on to guarantee that the text of his comment would be misspelled to the point of incomprehension, that it would defy the laws of both logic and grammar, and that it would allege that several elements of the video are homosexual in nature.

"The result will be an astonishing combination of ignorance, offensiveness, and sheer idiocy," Mylenek said.

According to the idiot, he will become incensed at the quality and sentiment of the comments already posted below the video—which will include such replies as "not great, nice try tho," "FIRSTIES!!!" and "wtf?? lol so random." At this point, Mylenek said, he will feel a deep, unwavering desire to offer a dissenting opinion, which he has hinted will include the words "gay" and "reatrd" [sic].

"It is my moral obligation to alert the Internet community to the fact that this video is totally gay, and furthermore, that the individual who made it is a fag," Mylenek said.

Pressed for further details regarding his intended post, Mylenek, who will comment under the Internet pseudonym "xblingdaddy2005x," revealed that there is a strong possibility he will inadvertently post the comment twice.

"After clicking the 'submit' button, I will immediately refresh the page so that I can view my own comment. I will then notice that my comment has not appeared because the server has not yet processed my request, become angry and confused, and re-post the same comment with unintentional variations on the original wording and misspellings, creating two slightly different yet equally moronic comments," he said. "It is my hope that this will illustrate both my childlike level of impatience and my inability to replicate a simple string of letters and symbols 30 seconds after having composed it."

Mylenek confirmed rumors that he will be momentarily sidetracked by another inane task while drafting his comment. The distraction is scheduled to come at 2:25 a.m. in the form of a "related video" link featuring a man being sodomized by a horse, which Mylenek will re-watch seven times and laugh obnoxiously at with his friend and fellow idiot, Steve Blanchette, 28.

"Once this minor diversion is complete, I will finish posting my comment, then sit there like the worthless human being I am and wait for other commenters to respond," he added. "Because, as I mentioned before, I have nothing better to do with my life."

Mylenek said he fully expects that his comment will spawn a series of replies from other idiots around the world, who will either agree with his stance, disagree with his stance, or call Mylenek himself a "d0uche" and post an irrelevant link to a separate video that they will claim to be "way funnier." According to Mylenek, this is all part of the plan.

"We are blessed to be living in an age when we have a global communications network in which idiots, assholes, and total and complete wastes of f***ing human life alike can come together to give instant feedback in an unfettered and unmonitored online environment," Mylenek said. "What better way to take advantage of this incredible technology than to log onto the Internet and insult a complete stranger?"

According to media critic Judy Turner, this type of behavior is not uncommon among idiots.

"Brandon's comments in particular contain a degree of unoriginality and stupidity that you only see in the most muttonheaded and imbecilic Internet commenters," Turner said. "In fact, I've seen him use at least a dozen variations of the word 'gay.' Suffice it to say, Brandon Mylenek is a truly stupid, stupid idiot."

Mylenek concluded his press conference with a solemn vow to uphold the awful, unintelligible, anger-inducing quality of his past Internet comments.

"I promise everyone that this post will be exactly what you have come to expect from an idiot like myself," he said, "and that I will check my comment regularly so that I can call everyone who says it's stupid a fag."

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Are you actually reading the articles or just looking at headline and reacting? :thud:

I agree total disaster at the box office Nibble.

All-Time USA Box office
Rank Title USA Box Office
1. Titanic (1997) $600,779,824
2. The Dark Knight (2008) $524,474,684
3. Star Wars (1977) $460,935,665
4. Shrek 2 (2004) $436,471,036
5. E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) $434,949,459
6. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) $431,065,444
7. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) $423,032,628
8. Spider-Man (2002) $403,706,375
9. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) $380,262,555
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) $377,019,252

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

Nibble

 

[Arthur]

Nothing is happening?

:thud:

Have you failed to notice that, on Monday, the Club obtained possession of the site? And that, on Tuesday, they sent archaeologists in to check that it is OK to start work? And today they have announced that a deal has been done with the Buckingham Group to build the thing?

And on Thursday announced work would be delayed for another year! But that's ok because we have the keys to the door and we've finally got round to working out who's going to build the thing!

Give it a couple of months (actually I'll be as bold to predict January when these planning applications that simply can't get turned down hit an unexpected "snag"!) and we'll get a similar press release.

All these delays means the club is losing yet more and more money playing at Withdean and no doubt the cost of the stadium rises that little bit more. Thus meaning we have to borrow yet more funds from banks, who in case you haven't noticed, aren't having the best of times lately so might be reluctant to do so.

Sorry I forgot, we've got people queueing out of the door to lend us money haven't we!

 

[Simster]

Fire Kills 21 Dogs At Kennel In Beaver Dam
Twenty-one dogs have been killed in a fire at a Beaver Dam kennel. The Beaver Dam Fire Department says about 31 dogs were at Everafter Kennels when the fire was reported at 6:40 p.m. Friday.

Nibble please f*** OFF.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Yes! Arthur! The exclamation marks are back! Along with your dull repetitive old crap! About how Falmer will never happen! Because it just won't ok you window lickers! etc etc

Meanwhile - this really was GREAT news: one less place for thick greedy blue-rinse hangers and floggers to socialise:

Hove Tory club closes with £1m debt (From The Argus)

 

[Arthur]

Yes! Arthur! The exclamation marks are back! Along with your dull repetitive old crap! About how Falmer will never happen! Because it just won't ok you window lickers! etc etc

Dull repetitive old crap it may be, but it's not wrong though is it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Twinkle Toes]

It's a glorious morning; the stadium is actually happening; we are all alive to enjoy it; and we are Brighton & Hove Albion FC.

ps Good thread Unc

 

[Brovion]

Arthur and Lord B, can you take you discussion onto a more appropriate thread? I want to watch Nibble and Uncle Speilberg. Thanks.

 

[strings]

I am going to go downstairs and buy a MUFFIN in a bit

I just purchased the aforementioned MUFFIN - it is double choc chip. I have also made a nice big cup of tea to drink with it.

Who says work has to be boring.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

I just purchased the aforementioned MUFFIN - it is double choc chip. I have also made a nice big cup of tea to drink with it.

Who says work has to be boring.

Now thats what I'm talking about.

 

[Arthur]

Meanwhile - this really was GREAT news: one less place for thick greedy blue-rinse hangers and floggers to socialise:

Hove Tory club closes with £1m debt (From The Argus)

Oh and how f***ing ironic! You getting joy out a business (probably actually a charity) going pop because the arse has fallen out of the housing/lending market when in reality it's going to be one of the big contributing factors to the stadium getting delayed. Good one!

 

[Brighton till i die]

good news is i have nearly broken my personal record - i've been brewing a shit for 5 days now - its just about reached turtle neck staus and my ring piece is starting to twitch - i reckon come 12.00 i will be ready to explode good un proper. cant f***ing wait!