Good News Thread

[Nibble]

A Field Guide to the People of America: Steven Spielberg

This week, we meet Steven Spielberg (Movieus Turdus).

1. Description

The Steven Spielberg can be most easily identified in America for its ubiquitous glasses, neatly-trimmed beard, horribly lazy eye, and smug expression developed from years of earning your money [see Fig 1.1].

2. Habitat

Hollywood, in his Malibu palace paid for with your hard-earned money, and movie sets filled with large-scale explosions, aging archaeologists, and lovable aliens [illustrated in Fig 2.1 below].

3. Hobbies

The Steven Spielberg has many hobbies, among which include hating storylines, thinking you’re an idiot who only likes shiny objects and loud noises, and making unnecessary sequels



Other hobbies of the Steven Spielberg include mindlessly supporting for Democrats, counting your money with George Lucas, paying-off movie critics for rave reviews, and making more unnecessary sequels

4. How to Approach Him

Now that you’ve met the Steven Spielberg, feel free to say Hi when you see him. But be warned, when approaching him, make sure you’re carrying a pointless script based on a classic novel that’s full of expensive special effects and CGIs. Otherwise, the Steven Spielberg will want nothing to do with you.



5. Fun Facts

The Steven Spielberg has never met a sequel it didn’t like.

 

[Brighton till i die]

Now that genuinely made me laugh.

good

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Points 3 and 5. Now lets see how many of Spielberg's film's have ben made into a sequel you f***ing half wit ( actually half wit is an insult to half wits )



Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Munich (2005) - NO
War of the Worlds (2005) - NO
The Terminal (2004) - NO
Catch Me If You Can (2002) - NO
Minority Report (2002) - NO
Artificial Intelligence: AI (2001) - NO
... aka A.I. Artificial Intelligence (USA: poster title)
The Unfinished Journey (1999)
Saving Private Ryan (1998) - NO
Amistad (1997) - NO
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
Steven Spielberg's Director's Chair (1996) (VG)
Schindler's List (1993) - NO
Jurassic Park (1993) - YES
... aka JP (USA: promotional abbreviation)
Hook (1991) - NO
The Visionary (1990) (V) (segment "Par for the Course")
Always (1989) - NO
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Empire of the Sun (1987) - NO
The Color Purple (1985) - NO
"Amazing Stories" (2 episodes, 1985)
... aka Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories (USA: complete title)
- The Mission (1985) TV episode
- Ghost Train (1985) TV episode
"Strokes of Genius" (1984) TV mini-series (introductory segments) (uncredited)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) (segment 2)
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) - NO
... aka E.T. (USA: short title)
... aka E.T. the Extra- Terrestrial: The 20th Anniversary (USA: longer version)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) YES
... aka Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (South Africa: English title: DVD box title) (USA: video title)
1941 (1979) - NO
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) - NO
... aka CE3K (USA: informal short title)
... aka Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Special Edition (USA: reissue title)
Jaws (1975) - NO
The Sugarland Express - NO

2 films in 35 years have been made into sequels. Good post Nibble.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Points 3 and 5. Now lets see how many of Spielberg's film's have ben made into a sequel you f***ing half wit ( actually half wit is an insult to half wits )



Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Munich (2005) - NO
War of the Worlds (2005) - NO
The Terminal (2004) - NO
Catch Me If You Can (2002) - NO
Minority Report (2002) - NO
Artificial Intelligence: AI (2001) - NO
... aka A.I. Artificial Intelligence (USA: poster title)
The Unfinished Journey (1999)
Saving Private Ryan (1998) - NO
Amistad (1997) - NO
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
Steven Spielberg's Director's Chair (1996) (VG)
Schindler's List (1993) - NO
Jurassic Park (1993) - YES
... aka JP (USA: promotional abbreviation)
Hook (1991) - NO
The Visionary (1990) (V) (segment "Par for the Course")
Always (1989) - NO
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Empire of the Sun (1987) - NO
The Color Purple (1985) - NO
"Amazing Stories" (2 episodes, 1985)
... aka Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories (USA: complete title)
- The Mission (1985) TV episode
- Ghost Train (1985) TV episode
"Strokes of Genius" (1984) TV mini-series (introductory segments) (uncredited)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) (segment 2)
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) - NO
... aka E.T. (USA: short title)
... aka E.T. the Extra- Terrestrial: The 20th Anniversary (USA: longer version)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) YES
... aka Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (South Africa: English title: DVD box title) (USA: video title)
1941 (1979) - NO
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) - NO
... aka CE3K (USA: informal short title)
... aka Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Special Edition (USA: reissue title)
Jaws (1975) - NO
The Sugarland Express - NO

2 films in 35 years have been made into sequels. Good post Nibble.

 

[Les Biehn]

Dear god US, what is wrong with you? You can't help biting.

 

[Southover Street Seagull]

Savings guarantee to be £50,000.

BBC NEWS | Business | Savings guarantee to be £50,000

 

[Nibble]

Points 3 and 5. Now lets see how many of Spielberg's film's have ben made into a sequel you f***ing half wit ( actually half wit is an insult to half wits )



Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Munich (2005) - NO
War of the Worlds (2005) - NO
The Terminal (2004) - NO
Catch Me If You Can (2002) - NO
Minority Report (2002) - NO
Artificial Intelligence: AI (2001) - NO
... aka A.I. Artificial Intelligence (USA: poster title)
The Unfinished Journey (1999)
Saving Private Ryan (1998) - NO
Amistad (1997) - NO
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
Steven Spielberg's Director's Chair (1996) (VG)
Schindler's List (1993) - NO
Jurassic Park (1993) - YES
... aka JP (USA: promotional abbreviation)
Hook (1991) - NO
The Visionary (1990) (V) (segment "Par for the Course")
Always (1989) - NO
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Empire of the Sun (1987) - NO
The Color Purple (1985) - NO
"Amazing Stories" (2 episodes, 1985)
... aka Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories (USA: complete title)
- The Mission (1985) TV episode
- Ghost Train (1985) TV episode
"Strokes of Genius" (1984) TV mini-series (introductory segments) (uncredited)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) (segment 2)
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) - NO
... aka E.T. (USA: short title)
... aka E.T. the Extra- Terrestrial: The 20th Anniversary (USA: longer version)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) YES
... aka Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (South Africa: English title: DVD box title) (USA: video title)
1941 (1979) - NO
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) - NO
... aka CE3K (USA: informal short title)
... aka Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Special Edition (USA: reissue title)
Jaws (1975) - NO
The Sugarland Express - NO

2 films in 35 years have been made into sequels. Good post Nibble.

It's more of a bad quality over quantity thang! (p.s, not meant to be taken that seriously)

Having said that I believe there are 3 Indiana Jones follow ups, several Jurassic Parks with a 4th in the offing (yes I know he didn't direct all JP's)

 

[Les Biehn]

It's more of a bad quality over quantity thang! (p.s, not meant to be taken that seriously)

Having said that I believe there are 3 Indiana Jones follow ups, several Jurassic Parks with a 4th in the offing (yes I know he didn't direct all JP's)

Jaws had 3 sequels as well, obviously not by SS though.

Also Hook is a sequel to a live action film that was never even made of a book that had no sequel.

 

[Nibble]

 

[Nibble]

Mars Probe Destroyed By Orbiting Spielberg-Gates Space Palace

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—NASA officials have confirmed that the space agency's $170 million Mars Rover was destroyed Sunday by a ship-to-ship phaser fired from the defense array of the $950 billion Spielberg-Gates Space Palace, an opulent, Rhode Island-sized orbiting mansion which serves as an outer-space getaway for moviemaker Steven Spielberg and computer magnate Bill Gates. While powerless to counterattack, NASA pleaded with Spielberg and Gates to be more merciful with NASA equipment in the future. "While we greatly respect the advances Mr. Spielberg and Mr. Gates have made with their privately funded space fleet, and we apologize for our unauthorized entrance into their orbit zone, we beseech them to share the solar system with us." Spokespersons for Spielberg and Gates said the two ardent video-game enthusiasts were "just playing"

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Its all rather tiresome now. You think Spielberg is utter SHITE and has never made a decent film in his career. I get it ok. There's no need to go on about it.

 

[Nibble]

Its all rather tiresome now. You think Spielberg is utter SHITE and has never made a decent film in his career. I get it ok. There's no need to go on about it.

No, I don't think he is shite. I just find your defense of him at all costs funny!

Don't you enjoy reading the articles in a jokey way? C'mon, don't lose the love US!

 

[Les Biehn]

Its all rather tiresome now. You think Spielberg is utter SHITE and has never made a decent film in his career. I get it ok. There's no need to go on about it.

No, that's not what is being said. It is clearly just to wind you up because you get so irriate about something that it is ridiculous to get irrate about.

I personally rate a lot of his films. Jaws and the first 3 Indiana Jones films are proper good.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Its just rather insulting , spiteful and vindictive to bang on and on and on and on slagging someone's personal tastes off. This Character assassination is unnecessary and shows again how a well meaning thread is hijacked by utter Thunderc*nts who have nothing better to do than score points. I am sure I could pick holes and criticise everything about Les and Nibble and their tastes but I am not a compete and utter FUCKWIT I would like to think.

Please carry on though Nibble as it seems to give you some meaning in your empty and sad life.

 

[Titanic]

GOOD NEWS - Peter Mandelson (soon to be Lord Mandy of Sleezeville) is back in the cabinet

 

[Southover Street Seagull]

Mars Probe Destroyed By Orbiting Spielberg-Gates Space Palace

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—NASA officials have confirmed that the space agency's $170 million Mars Rover was destroyed Sunday by a ship-to-ship phaser fired from the defense array of the $950 billion Spielberg-Gates Space Palace, an opulent, Rhode Island-sized orbiting mansion which serves as an outer-space getaway for moviemaker Steven Spielberg and computer magnate Bill Gates. While powerless to counterattack, NASA pleaded with Spielberg and Gates to be more merciful with NASA equipment in the future. "While we greatly respect the advances Mr. Spielberg and Mr. Gates have made with their privately funded space fleet, and we apologize for our unauthorized entrance into their orbit zone, we beseech them to share the solar system with us." Spokespersons for Spielberg and Gates said the two ardent video-game enthusiasts were "just playing"

Absolute genius!

 

[Southover Street Seagull]

Its just rather insulting , spiteful and vindictive to bang on and on and on and on slagging someone's personal tastes off. This Character assassination is unnecessary and shows again how a well meaning thread is hijacked by utter Thunderc*nts who have nothing better to do than score points. I am sure I could pick holes and criticise everything about Les and Nibble and their tastes but I am not a compete and utter FUCKWIT I would like to think.

Please carry on though Nibble as it seems to give you some meaning in your empty and sad life.

Stop biting US! Have you seen my bit of good news for the day?

 

[Nibble]

Roger.


E.T. Toys Forced On Uninterested Children



CHERRY HILL, NJ—Across the nation, toys and other merchandise produced for the 20th-anniversary rerelease of E.T. are being foisted upon uninterested children. "This is the alien spaceship, but it doesn't even have any guns or anything," said Robbie Guyton, 6, attempting to make sense of toys bought for him by his mother, who fell in love with the heartwarming Steven Spielberg classic two decades ago as a 10-year-old girl. "The E.T. monster is ever weirder: It's, like, all naked and shriveled, and it doesn't have any battle armor. It's not scary at all." Guyton tried to figure out how to activate the death laser on the E.T. doll's finger, but was unable.

 

[Les Biehn]

Its just rather insulting , spiteful and vindictive to bang on and on and on and on slagging someone's personal tastes off. This Character assassination is unnecessary and shows again how a well meaning thread is hijacked by utter Thunderc*nts who have nothing better to do than score points. I am sure I could pick holes and criticise everything about Les and Nibble and their tastes but I am not a compete and utter FUCKWIT I would like to think.

Please carry on though Nibble as it seems to give you some meaning in your empty and sad life.

But if you didn't rise to it it wouldn't be so entertaining.

 

[Arthur]

Its just rather insulting , spiteful and vindictive to bang on and on and on and on slagging someone's personal tastes off. This Character assassination is unnecessary and shows again how a well meaning thread is hijacked by utter Thunderc*nts who have nothing better to do than score points. I am sure I could pick holes and criticise everything about Les and Nibble and their tastes but I am not a compete and utter FUCKWIT I would like to think.

Please carry on though Nibble as it seems to give you some meaning in your empty and sad life.