A Thread full of Joke du Jours

[Kenhead]

Re: joke du jour

Sexual Harassment

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him. The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's s * xually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."

Quality!!

 

[Sloth loves Chunk]

Crap Joke du Jour

Sir Paul is buying his lovely wife Heather a plane for Christmas.

Apparently, he's getting her some immac for the other leg!

 

[Dave the OAP]

joke de jour

has tickets for the Rugby World Cup Final. As he sits down, another
man comes and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. He
replies
"The seat is empty." "This is incredible" said the man. "Who in their
right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest
sporting event in the world, and not use it?"

He says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come
with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Rugby Final we haven't
been to together since we got married in 1987"

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find
someone else - a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the
seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."

 

[Artois]

 

[Titanic]

The old ones are... the oldest!

Still raises a slight chuckle though.

 

[Superphil]

When are the fixtures out

 

[REDLAND]

I liked it anyway !!

 

[zefarelly]

ahhh pensionable gold Dave

 

[Northstander]

joke du jour

WHAT IS BROWN AND FOUND IN CHILDRENS PANTS?


Michael Jacksons Hand!!

 

[Sully's Moustache]

Surely his hand is white, like the rest of him?

 

[Braders]

 

[Northstander]

Yes that's right and he is re-releasing one of his no.1's to coincide with his new album "It don't matter if your black then white!"

 

[Northstander]

What's the difference between MJ and a grocery bag?

One's white, made from plastic, and harmful to children, the other you carry your groceries in

 

[Northstander]

TAKE THE PISS OUT OF WACKO thread

What's the difference between MJ and a grocery bag?
One's white, made from plastic, and harmful to children, the other you carry your groceries in

When is it bedtime at Neverland Ranch?
When the big hand is on the little hand.

MJ Fan:- "Michael Jackson dangled a kid over a balcony today..."
Non-MJ Fan:- "Strange, he normally tosses them off."

 

[Northstander]

When searched Police found Dairy Lea on the end of his Knob, allegedy kids will do anything for the taste of dairy lea.....

 

[Robbo]

JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 1:
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael?
"Excuse me, but you're in my son"

JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 2:
What does Jacko have in common with a Big Mac?
They're both old meat between young buns


JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 3:
What does Jackson have in common with whisky?
They both come in small tots


JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 4:
What do Michael and Wal-mart have in common?
They both have boys briefs half-off


JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 5:
Jacko's wife has just given birth to a baby boy.
"How long before we start having sex?" asks Michael.
Doctor: "I'd wait until he's at least 14"

 

[y2dave]

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne?

Acne waits until your 13 to come on your face!

 

[Soton Seagull]

He is due to star in the West End next month as Father Xmas. Since he has been bailed tickets for the production of 'Fiddler on the Roof' will continue!

I'll get my coat

 

[Harold]

Police have just raided Michael Jackson's ranch.

They found Class A drugs in the kitchen, class B drugs in the bathroom, and class 5c in the bedroom.

 

[Citrus]