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A Thread full of Joke du Jours
- Thread starter bob monkhouse
- Start date
like it allot 
yeah good, very good.
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,639
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even
Deep pan, crisp and even
Bwian
Kiss my (_!_)
- Jul 14, 2003
- 15,898
Little Timmy, was a mean, arrogant, foul-mouthed brat, and Timmy's father was tired of it.
Christmas was coming up, so he gave his son an ultimatum: Behave yourself and you'll get what you want for Christmas; keep acting like a jerk and you'll get a pile of dog crap in place of the gift.
Timmy couldn't help himself when he told his dad what he wanted for Christmas. It was habitual. "I want a big f***ing teddy bear laying right here beside me when I wake up on Christmas morning," Timmy said. "Then, when I go downstairs, I want to see a train going around the f***ing tree, and when I go outside I expect to see a new bicycle leaning up against the f***ing garage!"
Christmas morning, Little Timmy woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog crap. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a few piles of dog crap around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog crap by the garage.
When he came back inside the house, his dad smiled and asked, "So, Timmy, what did Santa bring you this year?"
Timmy replied, "Beats the hell out of me. I think I got a dog but I can't find him."
Christmas was coming up, so he gave his son an ultimatum: Behave yourself and you'll get what you want for Christmas; keep acting like a jerk and you'll get a pile of dog crap in place of the gift.
Timmy couldn't help himself when he told his dad what he wanted for Christmas. It was habitual. "I want a big f***ing teddy bear laying right here beside me when I wake up on Christmas morning," Timmy said. "Then, when I go downstairs, I want to see a train going around the f***ing tree, and when I go outside I expect to see a new bicycle leaning up against the f***ing garage!"
Christmas morning, Little Timmy woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog crap. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a few piles of dog crap around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog crap by the garage.
When he came back inside the house, his dad smiled and asked, "So, Timmy, what did Santa bring you this year?"
Timmy replied, "Beats the hell out of me. I think I got a dog but I can't find him."
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Albion Rob
New member
Jacko joke
Apparantly, Michael Jackson is being weaned off cub scouts.
He is now down to about half a pack a day.
Apparantly, Michael Jackson is being weaned off cub scouts.
He is now down to about half a pack a day.
Lammy
Registered Abuser
TAXI! *holding jacket open, waiting by door and tapping foot*
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Albion Rob
New member
Jacket's on and I'm out the door...
Eggman
Well-known member
Officers who raided Michael Jacksons home yesterday have confirmed they found "class A's" in the living room, "class B's" in the kitchen and class 4C in the bedroom!!
REDLAND
Active member
Eggman said:
marvellous
larus
Well-known member
What's the connection between Jackson and West Ham supporters.
They're forever blowing Bubbles.
They're forever blowing Bubbles.
Juan Albion
Chicken Sniffer 3rd Class
larus said:
Older than this bit of cheddar in my dirty fingers.
joke du jour
Sexual Harassment
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him. The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's s * xually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
Sexual Harassment
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him. The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's s * xually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
REDLAND
Active member
Hilton
New member
Hilton
New member
Soton Seagull
Well-known member
Lady laying on beach, Michael Jackson is standing over her. She says "excuse me, your in my son!"