A Thread full of Joke du Jours

[Dublin_Seagull]

What do you think of this Joke

Wife says to her hubby , Darling I am so fed up with my small breasts What shall I do ??
Hubby replies , Rub Toilet Tissue between those small breasts.
Wife says What will that do
Hubby says You have been rubbing toilet tissue between your arse for years and look at the size of that

 

[Kenhead]

Thats an old one!!

 

[Kenhead]

Thats an old one!!

 

[The Timekeeper]

Not Good

 

[Trigger]

I liked it

 

[Citrus]

Re: What do you think of this Joke

Wife says to her hubby , Darling I am so fed up with my small breasts What shall I do ??
Hubby replies , Rub Toilet Tissue between those small breasts.
Wife says What will that do
Hubby says You have been rubbing toilet tissue between your arse for years and look at the size of that

I'll laugh.












...seriously, it's not bad.

 

[Icy Gull]

Joke

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class
with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the
body covered with a white sheet.


The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is
necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor:
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."
For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the
butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth.


"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.


The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took
turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.


When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The
second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and
sucked on my index finger.


Now learn to pay attention!"

 

[Citrus]

 

[Kenhead]

Great joke!!

 

[Hiney]

Quality

 

[The Timekeeper]

Like It

 

[Adams score 0]

Joke

See that they have brought out a new tinsel tampon.


Just for the christmas period

 

[Eggman]

A festive joke

Paul McCartney is doing his Christmas shopping, He decides to buy Heather a new artificial leg. He wraps it up, takes it home and hides it in
the wardrobe.

However, Heather is doing her housework a couple of days later, and she finds it.

So she phones up Paul, and says "That's really nice of you, but I hope it's not my MAIN Christmas present?"

Paul says "No, it's just a stocking filler"

 

[Everest]

I see Sainsburys are now selling tampax with bells & fairy lights on. They're for the Xmas period only.

 

[Bobby's Gull]

Oh Dear!

 

[Soton Seagull]

From the same ilk -


Q. What do vegetarian worms eat?



A. Linda McCartney

 

[Locky]

Why do women skydivers wear tampax before jumping ?




To stop the whistling on the way down.

 

[The Great Cornholio]

Re: A festive joke

Paul McCartney is doing his Christmas shopping, He decides to buy Heather a new artificial leg. He wraps it up, takes it home and hides it in
the wardrobe.

However, Heather is doing her housework a couple of days later, and she finds it.

So she phones up Paul, and says "That's really nice of you, but I hope it's not my MAIN Christmas present?"

Paul says "No, it's just a stocking filler"

I thought it was going to be the one about him buying her a plane for Christmas. So she can shave her legs.

 

[Hiney]

Or..................

What's got 3 legs and lives on a farm?


Paul & Heather McCartney

 

[zefarelly]

joke du jour

For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle

His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is £180,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?

Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.

And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an £180,000 mortgage and no f*c*ing bike!"