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its been good but i'm a little disappointed that there wasn't more action scenes, especially as there's supposed to be a war on!

i had my picture taken with R.E.M the other day thats me in the corner

I couldn't find the way out of a multi-storey car park once and stopped to ask this white-haired woman. Amazingly, it was 80s singer Yazz. Waste of f***ing time.

did he just say huddersfield captain peter kay?

an older jack dee?

they need to call a chief inn-spector

yes. sorry, never mentadent his confidence!

shit league with shit players in it. we should at least be in the top three.

messi's goal was going wide til it hit the defenders foot

best thing is, after the game, mourinho will be saying that barca cheated etc

absolute farce of a game

f***ing crap dago bastards!!

If we can finish second and win our league cup then i'll be delighted. We've got the youngest team in the league with 8 players aged 20 or under and the youngest being just 17!

Great Uncle!

not with my history, i'd never be able to show my face in pompey again!

I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips, Straining upon the start. The game's afoot: Follow your spirit, and upon this charge Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George! English breakfast Footie BBQ Beers Cant Wait!

itchypoo park - the small faeces!

Freddie 'The Frog' Turienzo??

if he misses though, can i ram my foot up his arse?

martin samuel from the mail summed it up for me when he said that, to get to the top of the pro game, you have to go through a thousand odd games where it is brutally survival of the fittest. you are used to seeing best friends having their hearts broken and having to ignore that to the point of...