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Uneventful situations which cause a KERFUFFLE in the work place
- Thread starter mejonaNO12 aka riskit
- Start date
smeariestbat
New member
- May 5, 2012
- 1,731
i work with a lot of females, they always seem to be dropping sprogs and there always seems to be a card going around. which i find unfair as i'm male so feel i'm losing a lot of money with this card and contribution thing. however my wife is due in january so lets see if it swings both ways. if not i am never putting another penny into a birthday/maternity pot thing!
Postman Pat
Well-known member
Slightly O/T, but I love the theatre and mis-direction that goes with getting cards signed. Ensuring said person is not around, and hiding the card and collection in an internal envelope, trying to quickly hide the card if the recipient returns early from a meeting etc..
Why does it go on? They know they are getting a card, just let everyone sign it in a normal manner.
Fitzcarraldo
Well-known member
- Nov 12, 2010
- 972
A large boat GLIDING past sends everyone STAMPEDING over to the windows.
I am usually head of the crush.
I am usually head of the crush.
SULLY COULDNT SHOOT
Loyal2Family+Albion!
Used to be when the Starbucks coffee place on the ground floor opened late or ran out of unskimmed milk.
The Fifth Column
Lazy mug
It's pathetic isnt it!? The mental thing for me is that I have never signed a card or put in to the collection for whatever poxy event they are blathering on about and yet they still get offended every time they ask me! I always give the answer that if I want to celebrate said event I will get the person a card and gift myself (obviously I'm a bloke though so don't give a shit about such matters).
It is definitely a female driven exercise though and it is not limited to the workplace. Amongst female friends there appears to be a whole etiquette and order surrounding this bizarre practice, they actually mentally log who gets who a card and who buys what gift and I think the entire greetings card industry is supported by the female population buying a frigging card for the next obscure non-event happening in their lives.
It was my Birthday last week and I recieved 6 cards, from the missus, my mum & dad, the kids, the in laws, brother in law and my aunty who i was dissapointed to see can no longer find cards of Stan Bowles making a header for QPR against Fulham circa 1976!! All my mates either simply wished me a happy birthday when I saw them or text me, dropped a line on facebook etc and I was happy with that, I got a few drinks bought for me over the week and that was that job done. My missus on the other hand will recieve around 20-30 cards and the entire stock of Boots scented candle and toiletry gift set counter and will throw a fit if the 'friend', she once worked with 15 years ago and hasn't seen since and now lives in Lossiemouth doesnt get her a card!
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The Large One
Who's Next?
I can't my head around office politics - at times it's an absolute and utter baffling mystery to me; and that's not counting that issues and rivalries and allies will change on a daily basis.
The answer is to keep your head down and let them get on with it. The point then is that no-one from either side of the great card-signing debate / X-Factor debate / who took the last of the milk from the wrong shelf debate will have anything to do with you - which suits me fine.
I turn up, I do my work (sometimes), I bugger off. Fin.
The answer is to keep your head down and let them get on with it. The point then is that no-one from either side of the great card-signing debate / X-Factor debate / who took the last of the milk from the wrong shelf debate will have anything to do with you - which suits me fine.
I turn up, I do my work (sometimes), I bugger off. Fin.
Anyone who works well above ground level will surely agree that the approx monthly occurrence of the entire office hovering around the window pointing at something outside is rarely anything other than completely dull and leaves you annoyed that you moved away from your desk where you were enjoying perusing the internet.
My office overlooks some woods. Last week there was a police car outside apparently investigating a dead body that had been found in said woods. I thought the building was actually going to tip over due to the number of people rushing over to that side of the office.
Haha, although it has to be said, there are exceptions to my rule. I'm just recalling when I was working in a big high rise overlooking Surbiton station, and someone had committed suicide by jumping off a bridge onto the tracks about 100 yards up the line. There were bits of the poor sod all over the railway track. I have to say, it's fair to say there weren't a *huge* number of people watching as the authorities cleaned up the mess.
Postman Pat
Well-known member
I had a similar conversation with my missus, she works with 5 other women, every birthday they all chip in £3 and the birthday girl usually gets a £15 voucher for next.
She couldn't grasp that it was the same £15 floating around and it would be just the same if they stopped doing it, and on whoever's birthday it was just went to Next and spent £15 on themselves!
Also why do I have to buy cakes on my birthday?! And the look of disgust if there isn't a 'healthy' option for those on a diet!
Nibble
New member
- Jan 3, 2007
- 19,238
The last office I worked in,apart from one female who had a problem with the world, was a great environment and despite enjoying my work now I look back on it with fondness. It was a small office and we all enjoyed our work so no problem. When doing security work years ago I have to say retail is one shit industry that seems to bring the worst out in people, especially managers. Just an overall view that they are in charge of something vital to the survival of the human species when they don't realise that they are just working themselves into an early grave, in a shite job to line someon elike Phillip Green's greasy pockets. Everything was a catastrophic deal by the look of it from a jumper on the floor to someone not doing theie UNPAID overtime! Luckily I was an observer in a different role, employed by an outside agency but my God! I would never return to that bollocks.
father_and_son
Well-known member
this...
The Fifth Column
Lazy mug
I had a similar conversation with my missus, she works with 5 other women, every birthday they all chip in £3 and the birthday girl usually gets a £15 voucher for next.
She couldn't grasp that it was the same £15 floating around and it would be just the same if they stopped doing it, and on whoever's birthday it was just went to Next and spent £15 on themselves!
Also why do I have to buy cakes on my birthday?! And the look of disgust if there isn't a 'healthy' option for those on a diet!
Arrgghh yes I forgot about the bleeding cakes nonsense. 7 days after my birthday and I'm still getting asked by the Doris's if I'm 'getting cakes'!! So it was my birthday, a day when traditionally I should be recieving gifts and yet they want me to go out on a special trip and spend my own money buying them cake related treats, why I ask - WHY? So NO I am not buying fookin cakes you fat lard arsed lazy cake eating bitches!!!
Uncle Buck
Ghost Writer
- Jul 7, 2003
- 28,071
If somebody deposits in the loo out in the corridor directly outside the main office.
Unwritten rules state you do nasties in either the loo further down the corridor or the disabled one.
Unwritten rules state you do nasties in either the loo further down the corridor or the disabled one.
JamesAndTheGiantHead
Well-known member
A CD went missing, and entirely coincidentally, I had made a copy at home of the very same album and brought it into work, and was hastily made to publicly stand trial for thievery.
After very little investigation, it transpired that Amazon had never sent the original out in the first place.
After very little investigation, it transpired that Amazon had never sent the original out in the first place.
father_and_son
Well-known member
Regardless of what the card being passed round is for (leaving, baby, marriage, etc), I ALWAYS write 'Happy Birthday'. It royally p*sses off the woman who organises these things!
The Fifth Column
Lazy mug
top work, I might try that and also throwing some obsolete foreign coinage into the envelope. What I also find baffling is the concept of someone 'leaving' and being entitled to a 'leaving do'. I can grudgingly accept this if someone is genuinely leaving the job and taking up employment elsewhere and in a different city etc but the people here will organise a full on card, collection and leaving do for someone simply changing roles within the organisation and switching to one of our other Brighton locations. How is that 'leaving'?
SK1NT
Well-known member
Someone made a sponge cake today and put it in the kitchen... As soon as that email goes around alerting everyone that there is free cake in the kitchen... The office clears and there is a stampede in the kitchen... It's embarrassing. It is as if none of them have eaten for a week...
This occurrence occurs for every treat that is laid out in the kitchen... (birthdays etc)
This occurrence occurs for every treat that is laid out in the kitchen... (birthdays etc)
Rich Suvner
Skint years RIP
Brilliant
Logged in just to say I've been chuckling at this whilst reading other posts.