Uneventful situations which cause a KERFUFFLE in the work place

[Butch Willykins]

How about a colleague coming in with there new born child and showing it off to the office as if we are all supposed to give a shit?

The women go mental. The blokes not so much (apart from the office creeps).

 

[Mellor 3 Ward 4]

Someone replaced the English Breakfast Tea stand with Earl Grey. So now there are two trays of Earl Gray, and none of English Breakfast Tea. It's a f***ing disgrace

Now that I can understand. Earl Grey Tea is revolting.

 

[GYM]

How about a colleague coming in with there new born child and showing it off to the office as if we are all supposed to give a shit?

The women go mental. The blokes not so much (apart from the office creeps).

Big f***ing this!

Also there was uproar when our new MD sent a circular round asking us all to actually turn our monitors off at 17:00 when we leave.

 

[Gary Leeds]

I once got summoned up to Birmingham while working in Ashford for a disciplinary for not submitting my expenses. They had to send someone from Birmingham to cover my work for a day plus the cost of getting me to Birmingham. When I was asked why I had no expenses submitted for 3 weeks (they had to be done weekly) I replied because I didn't have anything to claim. I then made sure I claimed for my petrol and a lunch meal for working away from base while in Birmingham

 

[Davey Boy Smith]

We have double doors to the office, but each side locks and unlocks independently.

It is the unwritten convention that the left hand door should be unlocked, and the right hand remain locked.

If anyone ever does the opposite, the following CARNAGE ensues:
– people attempt to use the locked door, causing countless comedy 'pushing at a locked door' moments
– one of my colleagues ALWAYS goes into HUFFY SIGH DEFCON1 whilst making an OSCAR-WORTHY PERFORMANCE of 'taking it upon herself' to unlock the 'correct' door.

Ah ha but left from which side?! One man's left is his opposite's right...

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

New paperwork. People preferring the old paperwork. So much moaning this morning from people charged with the task charged with helping under 5s to learn new things, but being completely unopen to learning themselves.

 

[strings]

We had a kerfuffle because there were skidmarks in the ladies toilet. It started as gossip - I'm the only bloke in my department. The skidmarks then reappeared a few weeks later. A pattern began to emerge, the skidmarks appeared every Wednesday. Soon we had ladies from other departments visiting our office to gossip about 'poo Wednesdays'.

We have a group of workers that only come to the office on Wednesday, which narrowed down the suspects.

Anyway, long story short, the culprit was discovered and unbeknown to her, all the girls in the office refer to her as skidmarks.

 

[Easy 10]

Eating at your desk!

Oh HELL yeah.

My day always starts with a bowl of Weetabix and a perusal of the news on here. Its the law.

BUt I am FRUGAL with the milk

 

[Brightonfan1983]

I once got summoned up to Birmingham while working in Ashford for a disciplinary for not submitting my expenses. They had to send someone from Birmingham to cover my work for a day plus the cost of getting me to Birmingham. When I was asked why I had no expenses submitted for 3 weeks (they had to be done weekly) I replied because I didn't have anything to claim. I then made sure I claimed for my petrol and a lunch meal for working away from base while in Birmingham

No wonder this country's economy's going to hell in a friggin' handbasket!

 

[CorgiRegisteredFriend]

How about a colleague coming in with there new born child and showing it off to the office as if we are all supposed to give a shit?

The women go mental. The blokes not so much (apart from the office creeps).

Totally agree and they plan these baby shower events and expect us men to contribute.

 

[Beach Hut]

Only one lift working out of two due to refurbishment - causes carnage EVERY morning (but bloody funny).

We have to fill in electronic time sheets every week and some one has requested a code for lift waiting time - get a fecking life or what

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Fire drills are usually an exercise in organised chaos. Oh and the weekly testing of the fire alarm never fails to annoy.

(awaits lecture from fire officer...)

 

[happypig]

In the 90s I worked in an office with about 40 other people. In the space of a month, two people spilled tea on their keyboards, necessitating replacement. Despite these being the only two occurrences up till that point, management issued a decree that "beverages must not be drunk at the desk, you should go to the canteen."
So you had the spectacle of 40 people taking a 10-15 minute break 3 or 4 times a day, in order not to risk damaging a ten pound keyboard.
After about a year, someone pointed out to the director concerned that this decree had saved tens of pounds and cost literally thousands.

 

[wunt be druv]

Somebody forgot to rinse out a milk bottle before they put out for collecting,the BASTARD!!

 

[BadFish]

I am a Primary School teacher, you should see them go off when I smoke in the classroom.





To be fair though if it is decent gear the class are really calm and quiet.

 

[timbha]

many years ago there was an office fight between the Cashier and a Sales Ledger Clerk when the latter insisted on getting his petty cash AFTER the cashier has locked the petty cash tin. The crux of the arguement was whether the time has passed 4pm, the time that according to procedures the petty cash tin was shut. There had been previous.

Now it's who left the out of date milk in the fridge?

 

[smeariestbat]

i worked in an office once, for six weeks, during my summer holidays at college. Said office was the registrar branch of a well know ppi mis selling bank. Anyway, i was a lowly data inputter on some sort of international team and on the day of my arrival i was shown the desk etc i would be working at. all i noticed was all the tippex at the back of chair. I was sat opposite a, lets not be too rude, well built middle aged woman. She seemed nice but spent most of the day complaining about how uncomfortable her chair was. I kept my head down and got on with my work, being forewarned of office politics, gossip, and other things and just not wanting to get involved. I finished my day and went home. I came back the next day to find no chair at my desk. Said well built woman then began to sympathise, explaining there are horrible people that steal chairs etc all over the office. i then went HR to source myself a new chair and whilst doing so walked past 'the well built' woman. On returning to my desk, with my newly acquired posh chair from HR, i located my old chair. Being sat in by the 'well built' sympathising 'co-worker' of mine. I sighed inwardly to myself, whilst saying to myself you were warned of this sort of behaviour.

but it doesnt end there.

I then went home and came back again the next day, and to my elated surprise, there at my desk was my old day 1 chair complete with tippex. No prizes for guessing which 'well built' sympathising lady had herself the chair i got from HR

 

[Seagull on the wing]

Had a good chuckle at these office going ons....was it really like that...I've always worked out of an office....Navy,Oil Rigs,Conveyor installer.
Admire people who have to put up with office politics ....oh the bitchiness

 

[The Fifth Column]

I caused several female members of my team to stop speaking to me and treat me like the devil incarnate for having the temerity to refuse to sign a new baby card or contribute any cash to the collection. What made it funny was that it was a mate of mine In The office whose missus had just dropped a sprog and I had already told him I wasn't signing his card or contributing just for the joy of seeing the reactions from the outraged females, we both found it very funny and I got some peace and quiet from the screeching gossip mongering hags.

 

[Bean]

Oh HELL yeah.

My day always starts with a bowl of Weetabix and a perusal of the news on here. Its the law.

BUt I am FRUGAL with the milk

FRUGAL, now THAT is a word