Uneventful situations which cause a KERFUFFLE in the work place

[Badger]

We have a major HR situation brewing as a male worker has just just dropped a colossal log - IN THE LADIES!

I really worry whether two of the dorises in the office will actually get through this - they are apoplectic - and the immortal 'Human Rights' line has been uttered.

The chap was unable to gain access to the gents as it was fully staffed - in terror for his trousers he simply evacuated his bowels in the first cubicle he could gain entry to which was in the ladies. The doris making the bigges fuss was not in the toilet - nor has she been in the toilet since.

She is so angry on someone elses behalf that is not getting as angry as she thinks they should.

The chap who dropped his excess does not seem to care - he is sitting very serenely and with a peaceful look on his face at his desk.

I am following events with interest

That sounds like a pretty dire situation, I assume someone in the office has already christened it LOG-GATE?

 

[Biscuit]

What BORING events are HIGHTENED into a state of mass hysteria in your work place?

We've just ran out of coffee cups. I had to explain I was being sarcastic when I claimed it was a 'crisis' as some others AGREED.

I had a VERY tricky conversion with HR after a friend posted something 'dubiously bigoted' on a Facebook status of mine..

 

[Rogero]

People moaning that the canteen hasn't got any gravy. It was pointed out that the Telecom Eirann contractors had mistaken it for soup and had a bowl each.

That made me laugh.

 

[Rogero]

I used to work for a large company and we used to have a monthly team meeting where about 20 colleagues would get together. Our boss used to get there early and put out both still and sparkling water. When he vacated the room,before the meeting, I would sneak in and shake up the sparkling water like mad. The meetings would start and it was great fun watching the water overflow over the tables.There was one other colleague in the know. After the second time the boss apologised that his car must have shaken them up and he would be more careful next time. On the third meeting I went in to shake them up,only to notice that he had loosened the tops. Needless to say I tightened up the tops and the water kept spraying.
What fun!

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

I had a VERY tricky conversion with HR after a friend posted something 'dubiously bigoted' on a Facebook status of mine..

Oh my!

 

[Postman Pat]

Felt compelled to bounce this thread after someone sent a global email today:

--------------------
Thief

A slice of my ham has been taken from the fridge near finance. As petty as it sounds to be annoyed, it was a pack of 5 slices and I now have to buy another pack just for 1 day. Thank you who ever stole it, and thank you for basically taking my money! If you haven’t bought the food and put it in the fridge, why are you taking it?!
---------------

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

NEW DESKS

So on Friday we had to all clear out our desks as we're getting shiny new white (controversial) ones in to replace them. First of all, NOBODY knew whether we were supposed to disconnect our phones and monitors or not, then we were only given ONE cardboard box each to pack ALL of our stuff away and to top it all off, this morning, my right and left monitors had been replaced the WRONG WAY AROUND - but that's not all! My mouse cable now isn't long enough to reach the new location of my PC so I've had to plug it into the USB slot on the side of my MONITOR!!

Blimey! What a kerfuffle!

 

[Cian]

Remembered one that happened many years ago at this stage.

Like a lot of offices, there aren't enough teaspoons to last from morning till evening, unless the cleaners put the dishwasher on at lunch. Not a problem, people just use knifes or forks to stir their tea if required.

One day we get this absolute mental screaming email, which I unfortunately can't find to remember the exact text of, from the HR manager. Never seen one as nuts from her before or since. Reason was that someone, or "SOME ANIMAL" as she called them, had used the corkscrew to stir their coffee.

She wasn't even that angry when she was firing the idiot from our London office who didn't usually drink much and decided to see how much he could handle from a free bar and then, in the space of a few hours:

Vomited in the urinals and then in the bar
Asked his team lead for weed
Asked the IT manager for cocaine (silly boy, should have asked the sales director)
Broke down the hotel room of another UK division colleague that he was sure was "gagging for it".

 

[Benson]

NOOOOO!!!

Her name wasn't Paulline, Paula, Patricia, or simllar was it?

 

[brightonrock]

Currently there is much INDIGNATION amongst the collective MENOPAUSAL ranks around me due to the proposed EXILE of a four-foot tall TEDDY bear from the cabinets nearest our team. Apparently it has great SENTIMENTAL value as a GOOD LUCK CHARM for the data entry staff. It has been pointed out by new management that during client visits it looks less than professional to have a SOD OFF BEAR stare down at them like a CUDDLY DISNEY GARGOYLE from atop the FILING. After extensive character assassination about the HEARTLESSNESS of the new boss making a STUFFED bear HOMELESS, an ADJOURNMENT has been called for the bank holiday weekend. The trial continues.

 

[FloatLeft]

A young chap in the call centre of our company caused CONSTERNATION amongst the female members of staff when he put a plastic pretend POO in the females loo. He was promptly sacked in a deeply controversial move that was termed poo-gate by certain members of staff. I had always been under the impression that he'd actually put the poo-in-the-loo and blocked it but it turned out he'd just placed it on the cistern. To be honest I don't think it could have been mistaken as a real poo given that it would not be emitting any SMELL.

 

[Brian Fantana]

Severe SHOCKWAVES are still being experienced, following an incident that has become known as 'cake gate'. To set the scene, one of the larger ladies in our team has recently embarked on WeightWatchers, despite several poorly-guarded sarcastic comments from some of the other women. Anyway, said larger lady managed to lose 8 pounds during her first week on the diet. Her female colleagues decided to honour this undoubtedly noble achievement by buying her a CHOCOLATE CAKE. The irony of this gesture was not lost on one of my male colleagues, who tactfully questioned whether of not this was the best way to celebrate weight loss. Cue no less than FOUR women bursting into tears, immortal lines uttered such as 'she's been through a lot, leave her alone', and an angry email from HR warning about the perils of BULLYING in the office.