This - this film is shit do not hire it or see it thread

[Oscar]

What films has Tom Cruise ruined then ?

War of the Worlds

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

The end of AI is when the whole 2 hours before and rationale of AI came together.

The super advanced robots that found him , who evolved over the interim 2000 years and after Mankind had destroyed themselves in a nuclear war were able to give him what he wanted. The super advanced robots were the natural extention of the AI family which David came from earlier down the chain.

Teddy keeping the hair of his " mother " allowed the robots to bring David what he had wanted.

I found it quite beautiful. But then I am a sensitive soul.

 

[Blackadder]

The Avengers (Uma Thurman)

The Three Amigos (Steve Martin)

The Witches of Eastwick (Cher)

Absolute plop!

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Cruise was good in War of the Worlds , shall we have a sensible debate about this or what

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Cruise CV

Born on the 4th of July
Jerry Maguire
Magnolia
Minority Report
War of the Worlds
A few good men
Rainman

Yep pretty shit all round

 

[Lokki 7]

What films has Tom Cruise ruined then ?

Days of Thunder. How am I supossed to ogle Nicole Kidman with Cruise sticking his sweaty head in the way every two minutes?

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

Ghostbusters 2. There's a rubbish film for you. Maybe not that terrible when judged on it's own, when you compare it to the first (one of the BEST 80's films IMO) then it really does look wonk. Even at the age of 10 I was disappointed by it. A lazy re-hash of the original film done by the numbers. No wonder a 3rd one never came out.

Here's one for Easy 10. "Oscar", the Sylvester Stallone "comedy" film, done to showcase big Sly's funnyman skills. I seem to remember you once claiming you "gripped the armrests of your seat in sheer horror at what was unfolding before you" whilst watching that picture.

Who's doing that "Doom" film? That's been in production for about 10 years now and there is no way that that flick is going to be anything other than pure creamed turd.

 

[Trufflehound]

What films has Tom Cruise ruined then ?

He plays the same character in every film: someone who gets angry half way through, shouts a bit, and then slaps or kicks the wall in frustration. See Rain Man, or A Few Good Men, or the Color of Money, among others, all of which would have been far better films with someone else in the lead role.

War of the Worlds was shit as well, but I don't know whether that was his fault or Spielberg's (that's Steven, not Uncle).

I think the most interesting case is Vanilla Sky, which is a shot-for-shot remake of the Spanish film Abre los Ojos. The Spanish actor playing the lead in that even looks like Cruise. The two films are virtually identical (apart from the language, obviously), yet Abre los Ojos is brilliant and moving, while Vanilla Sky is merely quite good... I blame Tom.

 

[CHAPPERS]

Cruise was good in War of the Worlds , shall we have a sensible debate about this or what

Yeah, a sensible debate based around your supposed correct opinions.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Eyes Wide Shit

 

[Trufflehound]

Days of Thunder. How am I supossed to ogle Nicole Kidman with Cruise sticking his sweaty head in the way every two minutes?

Same with Eyes Wide Shut. Though that took some sitting through, even WITH Nicole...

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Chappers

I think you fancy me and its starting to alarm me

 

[Parson Henry]

I fancy you as well US!!

 

[Dave the OAP]

"Shawn of the Dead - Utter Utter cack"

Are you on glue? Its one of the funniest films of all time.

you have obviously no taste


Blazzing Saddles is the funniest film of all time , followed by Kind Hearts and Coronets.

 

[Trufflehound]

you have obviously no taste


Blazzing Saddles is the funniest film of all time , followed by Kind Hearts and Coronets.

Duck Soup!

 

[Les Biehn]

I don't remember saying it was the funniest film of all time, it was one of the funniest. Blazing saddles is very funny. However Kind Hearts and Coronets is good in that gentle ealing comedy way but not really one of the funniest films ever is it

 

[Mick Beard BHA]

Oooh, I've just remembered what is possibly THE worst film I've ever seen in my life. Its so laughably bad, its actually worth hiring just to see how bad it is. Its called 'Alone In The Dark', starring Christian Slater (so you know straight away that its going to be utter toilet). Apparently its loosely based on some old computer game (hey, there's ANOTHER good sign), and it was simply dreadful. Ludicrous plot with more holes in it than Albions back 4. Awesomely appalling cgi effects for the creatures. Fantastically limp script stuffed to the rafters with crap lines such as "some doors arn't supposed to be opened". Comical acting. Honestly, this films got the LOT. You're even expected to believe that Tara Reid is a brilliant genetic scientist (because, uhh, she's wearing glasses). Priceless.
Go see.

I think i can top that, although again it is sooo bad that its worth seeing...

Has anyone seen the Dolph Lundgren film "Blackjack". He's a bodyguard, ex-cop i think. A girl he's supposed to be protecting gets kidnapped by some baddie and Lundgren vows to save her and get her back. But there's a twist... Lundgren has a weakness... because of some trauma earlier in his life he's SCARED OF THE COLOUR WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!

Cue a shoot-out in a milk-factory, where the urns get burst and there's milk everywhere, and Lundgren is on the floor in agony because THERE'S WHITE EVERYWHERE...

The film climaxes with another shoot-out, i think its at the baddie's 'lair'. But the baddie has a plan... he's put WHITE BEDSHEETS UP ALL OVER THE PLACE. Lundgren's in trouble.. he can hardly see.. so he remembers all the things that are white and are, err, nice, and recites them to himself "Doves, little puppies, fluffy clouds.." I kid you not. This film exists.

Needless to say he ends up overcoming his fear and saves the girl.

 

[Oscar]

I have to admit Cruise has made some good movies: Top Gun, Born on the Fourth of July, Rain Man.

But lately he's made some shit. War of the Worlds was ruined for me from the moment he's introduced as not just an ordinary guy/ crane driver but the best f***ing crane driver in the universe. When the invasion hits, the whole neighbourhood turn to him for the answers. He can never just be the ordinary man can he - even when its a character based on classic material.

And don't even mention Mission Impossible or the sequel. And right now he's making another one!

 

[Trufflehound]

Has anyone seen the Dolph Lundgren film "Blackjack".

Didn't the words "Dolph" and "Lundgren" alert you before it started?

 

[Mick Beard BHA]

Didn't the words "Dolph" and "Lundgren" alert you before it started?

Dont worry, i didnt pay to see it. It was just a random find one evening on Channel 4 or 5. I picked it up from the point of the Milk Factory shoot-out, and was so intrigued by its awfulness that i couldnt drag myself away. I laughed so much i had tears in my eyes, although i dont think that was the reaction the film was intended to provoke