The official NSC Swine Fever watch

[Mendoza]

How close is Mexico to Florida? How many Mexicans will be on the plane that brings PETER WARD to REMF

If I receive a pass from Ward, will I catch this swine thing and my left bollock fall off?

 

[Taybha]

does wardy still have that mucho grande tash?

 

[siclean]

archoo.... excuse me..... its ok had too much bacon this morning

 

[JJ McClure]

does wardy still have that mucho grande tash?

hmm he does look a bit like a swarthy Mexican nowadays.

 

[simmo]

The following have been quarantined, just in case...

Quentin Hogg
Alexandra Pigg
Kevin Bacon
Pork Si-Jung
Derek and Rodney Trotter

And Mark McGammon

 

[Beach Hut]

I met a load of Millwall in '86 and they had surgical facemasks on.

They weren't talking flu though

 

[siclean]

Similar to snow watch. Postcodes please so we can track the virus move across Sussex.

BN11
I have had a sore throat for a week and now feel tired. Although I have never been to Mexico, I visited Florida last summer.

Last night I shared a conversation with a Texan on Omegle

It made me feel worse.

Any other reports of illness?

why do they call it swine

 

[Lady Bracknell]

why do they call it swine

Because it's a pig of a virus.

 

[SirDouglasLoft]

My brothers photography university teacher has it, and is in hospital at the moment.

This is in Harrow by the way.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

BN1

Breaking News: Within the last hour, The Large One has been placed in quarantine

[URL=http://img406.imageshack.us/my.php?image=10319101lg.jpg] [/URL]

 

[Starry]

gu34. i have got about 35 pigs in my garden and one runt in the kitchen, have just drunk some mexican lime squash. halp?

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Back home safe in BN8.

I bought some petrol earlier today, but wisely went to the BP filling station in BN2, rather than the Texico place on the way home. You can't be too careful.

 

[pasty]

I'm worried now. May be home in BN2, but I've been sat on The Victoria Line for 25 minutes. I have a headache.

http://www.thelondonpaper.com/thelondonpaper/news/swine-flu-is-in-london-and-set-to-spread-through-overcrowded-underground-system-

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

DN34 I have a sore throat (too much singing ?) and my nose is bunged up. Was Hudderfield ground zero for swine fever in the UK ?

 

[vegster]

So how come there has been an outbreak in Israel ? surely thats difficult to achieve ?

 

[Barrel of Fun]

My eyes are watering uncontrollably and I have a sore throat. It could be the due to the sausage roll I devoured earlier or it could be due to chopping onions. I did brush shoulders with a chap on the tube that looked suspiciously South American. Oh god, I've caught it.

 

[Taybha]

So how come there has been an outbreak in Israel ? surely thats difficult to achieve ?

Note the pigtails anything is possible

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

So how come there has been an outbreak in Israel ? surely thats difficult to achieve ?

In Israel it is being called white meat fever Not all jews adhere to a strict kosher food regime and enjoy the odd bacon butty and pork pie now and again.

 

[dougdeep]

I feel a bit dizzy after downing a bottle of Chianti, it could just be wine flu though.

 

[vegster]

In Israel it is being called white meat fever Not all jews adhere to a strict kosher food regime and enjoy the odd bacon butty and pork pie now and again.

It's incredible the knowledge base of NSC..... I doff my hat