Tesco's Ginger card

[Simster]

guesswork ? Not what our mutual acquaintance told me !and the only reason I'm chubby is the fry up your missus INSISTS on cooking me every time I spend the night !

I can see why you find "edgy", culturally unfamiliar, ethnic comedians so desparately unfunny. If only they could stick to the tried and tested "I've screwed your wife" gag, they'd be so much more palatable and funny.

NSC is in bits at that one. Even FRANK doesn't use it these days.

 

[The Spanish]

guesswork ? Not what our mutual acquaintance told me !and the only reason I'm chubby is the fry up your missus INSISTS on cooking me every time I spend the night !

baaaaahled shane......

 

[The Spanish]

I can see why you find "edgy", culturally unfamiliar, ethnic comedians so desparately unfunny. If only they could stick to the tried and tested "I've screwed your wife" gag, they'd be so much more palatable and funny.

NSC is in bits at that one. Even FRANK doesn't use it these days.

hahaha i bet you are queuing up to see bashment granny, and laughing like a drain at gina yashere, every guffaw powered out your mouth by guilt.

 

[Simster]

hahaha i bet you are queuing up to see bashment granny, and laughing like a drain at gina yashere, every guffaw powered out your mouth by guilt.

Pipe down until you decide you're not too much of CHICKEN to tell us what you do for a living.

To paraphrase you, "I do enjoy" posts from clowns taking the piss out of other people's line of work when they're too much of a chickenshit to publicise what they do themselves.

"Real boys work" my arse. You're so ashamed you won't even tell us what you do.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

When I used babel fish to translate one of Spanish's posts into actual Spanish and then back again it read:

"NinguÌ n never I asked to him. it finishes putting it up me for above in a Web site for no payment. Work in the companion of the marine industry if his mine of any interest. Appropriate matter of the boys, dicking around with the excrement computers and not obtaining piss removed from me by the retailers. "
Which is much more interesting and informative than the original I am sure you will agree.

 

[User removed 4]

I dont talk about my work or my private life on here. Well, I try not to. It's no big secret though. Should our paths ever cross I'll explain what I do, but not on here.

don't worry mate, I'm not really that interested.

 

[Simster]

When I used babel fish to translate one of Spanish's posts into actual Spanish and then back again it read:

"NinguÌ n never I asked to him. it finishes putting it up me for above in a Web site for no payment. Work in the companion of the marine industry if his mine of any interest. Appropriate matter of the boys, dicking around with the excrement computers and not obtaining piss removed from me by the retailers. "
Which is much more interesting and informative than the original I am sure you will agree.

If this is the bit where he tells us what it is he does for a living, then I'm afraid I can't tell the difference.

 

[Mellotron]

I dont talk about my work or my private life on here. Well, I try not to. It's no big secret though. Should our paths ever cross I'll explain what I do, but not on here.

Herr, that is one notch away from:

"I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you."

 

[The Spanish]

Pipe down until you decide you're not too much of CHICKEN to tell us what you do for a living.

To paraphrase you, "I do enjoy" posts from clowns taking the piss out of other people's line of work when they're too much of a chickenshit to publicise what they do themselves.

"Real boys work" my arse. You're so ashamed you won't even tell us what you do.

chickenshit! yet another pointless americanism.

 

[Titanic]

I dont talk about my work or my private life on here. Well, I try not to. It's no big secret though. Should our paths ever cross I'll explain what I do, but not on here.

Cor! That's all very secret squirrel! Are you a spook?

 

[Simster]

chickenshit! yet another pointless americanism.

Lame response to a reasonable question. Would you rather I simply called you a chicken, twice?

"I work in the maritime industry".

Piss. Myself. Laughing.

 

[The Spanish]

Lame response to a reasonable question. Would you rather I simply called you a chicken, twice?

"I work in the maritime industry".

Piss. Myself. Laughing.

lame!

stop it. do you talk like miley cyrus in real life as well?

 

[Titanic]

no i never asked him. he just put it up on a website for free. i work in the maritime industry mate if its of any interest. proper boys stuff, not dicking around with f***ing computers and getting the piss taken out of me by traders.

That's quite vague, isn't it? Car parking assistant on the Isle of Wight ferry or Captain of a Trident submarine?

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

i work in the maritime industry mate if its of any interest. proper boys stuff.

 

[User removed 4]

Lame response to a reasonable question. Would you rather I simply called you a chicken, twice?

"I work in the maritime industry".

Piss. Myself. Laughing.

hahaha, chicken, how old are you ?

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Herr, that is one notch away from:

"I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you."

Mmmm. I didnt mean it to come across that way. And I aint a spook....just someone wanting to keep their private life to themselves.

 

[Simster]

hahaha, chicken, how old are you ?

*sigh*

I promise not to use the word chicken if your little shoulder monkey can tell us all what he does for a living. What is he scared of? *snigger*

Now are you two little numpties going to PORE over this sentence for something else to criticise in another feeble attempt to deflect attention from The Spanish's career.

"I work in the maritime industry"

*chuckle*

 

[The Spanish]

Mmmm. I didnt mean it to come across that way. And I aint a spook....just someone wanting to keep their private life to themselves.

you cant do that its not cricket.

simster plays the game by telling us his posh name, his woosy job and how smart reigate is, and talking like a teenage american girl.

 

[Simster]

you cant do that its not cricket.

simster plays the game by telling us his posh name, his woosy job and how smart reigate is, and talking like a teenage american girl.

You play the game by not telling anyone anything about yourself and then sneering at others like a complete f***ing coward.

I can't work out what you do, but here are a list of possibilities:

Captain of a major cargo ship.

But that's unlikely. I think it'll be one of these:

- Working at a sub-contracted catering factory, pre-packaging £8 salads for the Sea France ferry canteen
- Hosing barnacles off private yachts while the boss of the small company you work for plays golf.
- Collecting for RNLI in shopping centres
- In a call centre taking calls for Norfolk broads barge family holidays.
- Parking wally on the Newhave Dieppe ferry

We all know it'll be something tedious to explain all your resentful sneering. What makes it so funny is that you describe yourself as "in the maritime industry" - a bit like a parking attendant calling himself "a valued member of the civil service".

 

[User removed 4]

And I aint a spook.

er, just for your guide, we never thought you were.