Radio presenters saying the parents where irresponsible (Madeleine)

[Starry]

I don't mean to hijack a very serious topic but I now have an image in my head of Starry and family in a bed like in Angela's Ashes.

It must be an Irish thing because I remember having to share a bed with an aunt and my cousin when visiting one year.

I hope you don't take offence starry, having read that link I can understand why you do it

Heh. No offence taken, we do what works for us and it works very well for our family.

 

[tedebear]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Radio presenters saying the parents where irresponsible (Madelei

People are quick to point the finger. I don't know if I would have left our children at that age - I suspect not, but I am not going to point the finger at people who made a judgement they thought was okay - that I suspect lots of other people make, but through the actions of an evil person they may spend the rest of their lives torturing themselves.

In my heart of hearts I don't want to judge these people, but I suppose I am in a way. I simply can't understand leaving your children alone. I just can't.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

I know their occupants aren't strictly relevant but with their combined salaries why couldn't they fork out for a child minder or someone similar. I know it's a foreign country but they could have used an approved agency etc. For the cost of £20-£50 they could have saved themselves this.

As people at work have been saying, the more intelligent the person, the less common sense they seem to have, and that certainly seems to ring true in this case.

 

[Tooting Gull]

What makes me very uncomfortable reading some of this is that there is almost more vitriol being hurled at the devastated parents than at whatever warped sicko has done this. That seems odd to me. It's the child-abductors that are making the world a shitter place.

Yes, they have made a very poor judgment call and will never forgive themselves unless there is a good outcome here. If I'm honest, it's not what I would have done. But nipping out for a bite to eat and popping back periodically to see they were all right does not make these people demons. They obviously felt safe.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Yes, they have made a very poor judgment call and will never forgive themselves unless there is a good outcome here.

Unfortunately whether she is returned safe or not, there will be no good outcome from this for the family as far as I can see.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

I know their occupants aren't strictly relevant but with their combined salaries why couldn't they fork out for a child minder or someone similar.

I am not sure I would fancy rolling up on holiday and getting a baby-sitter I didn't know - approved or otherwise.

 

[tedebear]

What makes me very uncomfortable reading some of this is that there is almost more vitriol being hurled at the devastated parents than at whatever warped sicko has done this. That seems odd to me. It's the child-abductors that are making the world a shitter place.

I agree - although whoever had taken her and their motives have not been confirmed yet. I just can't contemplate or talk about the worst case scenario, its too horrible to bear.

 

[tedebear]

I am not sure I would fancy rolling up on holiday and getting a baby-sitter I didn't know - approved or otherwise.

So what would you do with the kids? Me personally I don't go on holidays like that at the moment....When Arthurs bigger I may do, but I'd get an apartment with a few rooms and a kitchen, we'll stay up and cook and eat whilst he has his own room I'd suppose...

 

[London Calling]

tHIS IS BAD PARENTING. aS i POSTED EARLIER, CHILDREN AT THIS AGE SHOULD NOT BE LEFT ALONE.

They indulge themselves, between the 30 mins visits, the kids could have woken up, obvioulsy been scared etc.

We are going on hols with our little ones in Stockholm, we have booked a room in a Youth Hostel that will accomadate us all, we purposedly got the biggest place possible. we know we have to stay in their room. As they sleep. Yes it will restrict us, but thats life and thats our duty.

Its not the fear of a child abductor, we are worried about, just that the kids do wake up, they have bad dreams the 3 year old will walk, if she wakes up, she will look for us. . We need to be close.

 

[SI 4 BHA]

What a load of hypocrites some of you lot are! Can any of you who actually have kids honestly say that you have never done anything similar when on holiday with your young kids - by 6 or 7 pm they are tired and ready for bed, you are on a family holiday complex in the sun, the kids go to sleep and you pop down to the bar with your partner for a bite to eat or a drink, checking up on the kids every 20 mins or so - I know I have, and that's basically what Maddy's parents did and that's what pretty much everyone on the complex would be doing! It's perfectly normal and reasonable, not something to be crucified about!

 

[Lokki 7]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Radio presenters saying the parents where irresponsible

Well on that basis - you show me a parent and I will show you a bad parent.

You are telling me that every parent on holiday in Portugal would leave their 3 year old kids alone in the apartment while they went out for dinner?

 

[tedebear]

What a load of hypocrites some of you lot are! Can any of you who actually have kids honestly say that you have never done anything similar when on holiday with your young kids - by 6 or 7 pm they are tired and ready for bed, you are on a family holiday complex in the sun, the kids go to sleep and you pop down to the bar with your partner for a bite to eat or a drink, checking up on the kids every 20 mins or so - I know I have, and that's basically what Maddy's parents did and that's what pretty much everyone on the complex would be doing! It's perfectly normal and reasonable, not something to be crucified about!

No I never have, ever.

 

[Publius Ovidius]

What a load of hypocrites some of you lot are! Can any of you who actually have kids honestly say that you have never done anything similar when on holiday with your young kids - by 6 or 7 pm they are tired and ready for bed, you are on a family holiday complex in the sun, the kids go to sleep and you pop down to the bar with your partner for a bite to eat or a drink, checking up on the kids every 20 mins or so - I know I have, and that's basically what Maddy's parents did and that's what pretty much everyone on the complex would be doing! It's perfectly normal and reasonable, not something to be crucified about!

Yes, or NO depending on how you view the question. Hand on heart.

Our holidays were mainly eurocamp holidays under canvas as we couldnt afford to fly! Once the kids were in bed, we would sit outside the tent together. If we wanted to go to the loo, we went one first and then when 1 returned, the other went. We did not under any circumstances whasoever leave either of the kids alone on holiday. When they ate, we ate! We took our kids to the camp restaurants or ate in the tent.

That is why we feel it very refreshing that since they have become adults ( 17+ ) we have been able to have time to ourselves without having to "worry " about the kids - I am not saying its wrong to worry about the kids at all...it was just our choice to do so.

we rarely left them with babysitters.

It was a personal choice, which I appreciate some people may not practically have.
I am not trying to be holier than though, or pious in any way...its just the way we were.

 

[Starry]

What a load of hypocrites some of you lot are! Can any of you who actually have kids honestly say that you have never done anything similar when on holiday with your young kids - by 6 or 7 pm they are tired and ready for bed, you are on a family holiday complex in the sun, the kids go to sleep and you pop down to the bar with your partner for a bite to eat or a drink, checking up on the kids every 20 mins or so - I know I have, and that's basically what Maddy's parents did and that's what pretty much everyone on the complex would be doing! It's perfectly normal and reasonable, not something to be crucified about!

Never. Ever.

By 7pm on a night here I am frazzled by my children, by 8.30pm they are all asleep in bed, my husband is usually half way across the world on business. Never ever have I thought about popping to the local (which is less than 5 mins walk away) for a drink and food leaving my kids alone.

We go on holiday as a family, like LC said above, we make allowances and adjustments and stay in places that are suitable for us, usually with more than one room so we can eat and drink but only ever been through the door. Not at the local tapas bar having a jolly old time while my child has woken and is screaming from a night mare or worse still some monster has taken him/her.

I would have no hesitation in reporting you for doing that.

 

[tedebear]

Yes, hand on heart.

Our holidays were mainly eurocamp holidays under canvas as we couldnt afford to fly! Once the kids were in bed, we would sit outside the tent together. If we wanted to go to the loo, we went one first and then when 1 returned, the other went. We did not under any circumstances whasoever leave either of the kids alone on holiday. When they ate, we ate! We took our kids to the camp restaurants or ate in the tent.

That is why we feel it very refreshing that since they have become adults ( 17+ ) we have been able to have time to ourselves without having to "worry " about the kids - I am not saying its wrong to worry about the kids at all...it was just our choice to do so.

we rarely left them with babysitters.

It was a personal choice, which I appreciate some people may not practically have.
I am not trying to be holier than though, or pious in any way...its just the way we were.

Exactly what we do. Arthurs asleep in the camper and one or both of us are in the awning, which we specifically spend a fortune on, as it has sides and a floor, as we knew thats where we'd spend our evenings. (But I still have the baby monitor even if he's 3 feet away)

 

[The Wookiee]

What a load of hypocrites some of you lot are! Can any of you who actually have kids honestly say that you have never done anything similar when on holiday with your young kids - by 6 or 7 pm they are tired and ready for bed, you are on a family holiday complex in the sun, the kids go to sleep and you pop down to the bar with your partner for a bite to eat or a drink, checking up on the kids every 20 mins or so - I know I have, and that's basically what Maddy's parents did and that's what pretty much everyone on the complex would be doing! It's perfectly normal and reasonable, not something to be crucified about!

Never ever, I would never even think about it !

 

[Goodfella]

We have taken our kids on holiday every year, and would never leave them alone, one of us has always gone up to the room with them, but the majority of the time they come with us.
Am i not right in thinking there was a babysitting thing available at this particular resort?

I really,really, hope their agony will be over soon, the guilt they must be feeling must be awful.

 

[Bozza]

No I never have, ever.

How long is 'ever' in your context? How old is Arthur?

(I haven't either, for the record, but I also don't feel the need to damn those poor parents at this time)

 

[tedebear]

How long is 'ever' in your context? How old is Arthur?

(I haven't either, for the record, but I also don't feel the need to damn those poor parents at this time)

20 months. I wasn't damning the parents, infact i can understand what they've done - but I'm just trying to explain that I've never done what they did, and I never will, my choice though.

 

[Bozza]

Not at the local tapas bar having a jolly old time

You just can't stop yourself getting a (not so sly) kick in at those poor parents, can you?