Important advice needed

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Both my housemate and I are very on guard at the moment. She has been checking the gas frequently, and I have been checking other things such as the front door, taps and everything else.
We don't trust him enough.

 

[brightonlass2009]

Oh goody he's now deciding to have a bitch about us on Facebook because he isn't getting his own way. This guy is a serious piece of work. How mature

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

Oh goody he's now deciding to have a bitch about us on Facebook because he isn't getting his own way. This guy is a serious piece of work. How mature

And you're not bitching about him on NSC?! Does he know there are 14 pages about him?

 

[brightonlass2009]

And you're not bitching about him on NSC?! Does he know there are 14 pages about him?

Meh, he has nothing to bitch about, I do,

Nah, we don't mind really, we're just about to put him in his place anyway.

 

[Ninja Elephant]

Meh, he has nothing to bitch about, I do,

Nah, we don't mind really, we're just about to put him in his place anyway.

Is he not being kicked out of the home he has become accustomed (rightly or wrongly) to? Personally, I think a little venting on Facebook wouldn't be a bad thing. If it were me, I'd be doing as much farming as I needed to.

I've not read the whole thread, I've read a few bafflingly abusive posts from NMH though, which was peculiar. But anyhoo, my two cents, sounds like this friend of yours has all but invited him into the house and he has taken it as read that he could move in, and when he wasn't told otherwise, he just assumed and it became his home. I think you're entitled to expect a contribution from him in terms of costs, I'm sure he'd understand that if you put it to him.

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

Meh, he has nothing to bitch about, I do,

Nah, we don't mind really, we're just about to put him in his place anyway.

You can't condemn someone to Bognor. That's almost cruel.

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

Is he not being kicked out of the home he has become accustomed (rightly or wrongly) to? Personally, I think a little venting on Facebook wouldn't be a bad thing. If it were me, I'd be doing as much farming as I needed to.

I've not read the whole thread, I've read a few bafflingly abusive posts from NMH though, which was peculiar. But anyhoo, my two cents, sounds like this friend of yours has all but invited him into the house and he has taken it as read that he could move in, and when he wasn't told otherwise, he just assumed and it became his home. I think you're entitled to expect a contribution from him in terms of costs, I'm sure he'd understand that if you put it to him.

I thought Looney's 'contributions' were the peculiar ones!

 

[Ninja Elephant]

I thought Looney's 'contributions' were the peculiar ones!

My vote still goes to NMH for the most baffling.

Some folks just don't know how to talk to a lady.

 

[brightonlass2009]

Is he not being kicked out of the home he has become accustomed (rightly or wrongly) to? Personally, I think a little venting on Facebook wouldn't be a bad thing. If it were me, I'd be doing as much farming as I needed to.

I've not read the whole thread, I've read a few bafflingly abusive posts from NMH though, which was peculiar. But anyhoo, my two cents, sounds like this friend of yours has all but invited him into the house and he has taken it as read that he could move in, and when he wasn't told otherwise, he just assumed and it became his home. I think you're entitled to expect a contribution from him in terms of costs, I'm sure he'd understand that if you put it to him.

He came here, and he was supposed to be here for 2 weeks. He then took it upon himself to stay here. The thing was he did have somewhere else to stay, and we were told it would be a temporary arrangement.

He can vent all he wants. This arrangement is illegal anyway, I don't wish to lose my deposit as a result, and I don't want my life put in danger because he can't turn off the gas or close the front door. We kept telling him we expected some contribution, but he didn't as he claimed he was 'broke' yet that money continued to go on booze.

We've tried everything possible, and this has been a last resort. We were willing to allow him to stay till the end of term, if he had kept his end of the bargain.

So yeah...that's pretty much it. Sorry, very stressed :US:

 

[El Presidente]

I see Bracknells still logged in, i can imagine the thrill of expectation rippling across his furrowed brow as he reads this uber-thread, either that or hes in the mod arsecave discussing who they are going to ban next.

We've decided who, just arguing over how long for

 

[brightonlass2009]

My vote still goes to NMH for the most baffling.

Some folks just don't know how to talk to a lady.

He probably doesn't have much experience

 

[El Presidente]

Getting back to the original point, I think you have very little legal right to any money from him, as your housemate can claim that he is a guest of hers. Suggest you work on her and try to persuade her to restrict his visits, explaining that the current situation is inequitable and not what you signed up for when you decided to move in together.

 

[brightonlass2009]

Getting back to the original point, I think you have very little legal right to any money from him, as your housemate can claim that he is a guest of hers. Suggest you work on her and try to persuade her to restrict his visits, explaining that the current situation is inequitable and not what you signed up for when you decided to move in together.

Okay, I think reading through the post (before we all got distracted by...well everything), this is my best option.
He's leaving tomorrow, which will be a big help, and I'm going to ensure this doesn't mean...well sleeping at another house but still spending 12 hours a day here with her.

 

[Chesney Christ]

I've not read the whole thread, I've read a few bafflingly abusive posts from NMH though, which was peculiar.

Nah mate, you're wrong. Its merely "internet banter" apparently. A middle-aged man verbally abusing a young girl, what is so wrong in that?

 

[Ninja Elephant]

He came here, and he was supposed to be here for 2 weeks. He then took it upon himself to stay here. The thing was he did have somewhere else to stay, and we were told it would be a temporary arrangement.

He can vent all he wants. This arrangement is illegal anyway, I don't wish to lose my deposit as a result, and I don't want my life put in danger because he can't turn off the gas or close the front door. We kept telling him we expected some contribution, but he didn't as he claimed he was 'broke' yet that money continued to go on booze.

We've tried everything possible, and this has been a last resort. We were willing to allow him to stay till the end of term, if he had kept his end of the bargain.

So yeah...that's pretty much it. Sorry, very stressed :US:

One thing I do know, from what little of the thread I've read through, is that this chap is a bit of an arse. Unfortunately. Your friend isn't blameless in this from what I've read through, it seems to me she wasn't strong enough to give him the boot when it became apparent he was going anywhere (which I presume was pretty quickly?). It's a difficult situation to be in for you, I do empathise. Sounds very much like he's overstayed his welcome, I hope he twaddles off without too much of a fuss.

Why you apologising? Not your fault, it's this immature chap your friend got herself involved with. That's life though, you only grow and mature through things like this, you never know, it might even do this chap some good. Of course, if he does have to move to Bognor then I doubt it will do him ANY good. But it's his own fault.

Nah mate, you're wrong. Its merely "internet banter" apparently. A middle-aged man verbally abusing a young girl, what is so wrong in that?

Wrong? On the contrary, it's an absolute giggle.

 

[brightonlass2009]

One thing I do know, from what little of the thread I've read through, is that this chap is a bit of an arse. Unfortunately. Your friend isn't blameless in this from what I've read through, it seems to me she wasn't strong enough to give him the boot when it became apparent he was going anywhere (which I presume was pretty quickly?). It's a difficult situation to be in for you, I do empathise. Sounds very much like he's overstayed his welcome, I hope he twaddles off without too much of a fuss.

Why you apologising? Not your fault, it's this immature chap your friend got herself involved with. That's life though, you only grow and mature through things like this, you never know, it might even do this chap some good. Of course, if he does have to move to Bognor then I doubt it will do him ANY good. But it's his own fault.

:US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US::US:

Okay, good now.
But yes, he is a bit of an arse. He was looking for jobs in the first 2 or so weeks, then he just gave up. She had many goes at him for that.

But yes, all sorted. Fine now. He's going tomorrow. I hope he enjoys the rest of his life stuck in bognor, hehehe.

OKay, that may be a little bit too cruel.

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

He came here, and he was supposed to be here for 2 weeks. He then took it upon himself to stay here. The thing was he did have somewhere else to stay, and we were told it would be a temporary arrangement.

He can vent all he wants. This arrangement is illegal anyway, I don't wish to lose my deposit as a result, and I don't want my life put in danger because he can't turn off the gas or close the front door. We kept telling him we expected some contribution, but he didn't as he claimed he was 'broke' yet that money continued to go on booze.

We've tried everything possible, and this has been a last resort. We were willing to allow him to stay till the end of term, if he had kept his end of the bargain.

So yeah...that's pretty much it. Sorry, very stressed :US:

I hear the righteousness creeping back into your words. Give it up. Whatever has happened doesn't make you a better person than him.

Remember all the things you did and didn't do. We discussed it yesterday. Here's some more: When your flatmate asked if he could stay for a bit, you had an opportunity to say either yes or no. This stuff is basic. Instead you gave no answer. And then when he moved in before you gave an answer, you didn't say 'hold on, we haven't given you an answer yet.' Remember, all of these things, you did to yourself.

I'm not surprised that this bloke is a bit miffed. Again, I'm not condoning what he's done, but you've certainly sent out some very mixed messages in the past. I admire your sharing on this thread, but until yesterday he only knew you as someone who doesn't keep her word or hold people to account. And now his expectations are shattered. No wonder he's upset.

 

[brightonlass2009]

I hear the righteousness creeping back into your words. Give it up. Whatever has happened doesn't make you a better person than him.

Remember all the things you did and didn't do. We discussed it yesterday. Here's some more: When your flatmate asked if he could stay for a bit, you had an opportunity to say either yes or no. This stuff is basic. Instead you gave no answer. And then when he moved in before you gave an answer, you didn't say 'hold on, we haven't given you an answer yet.' Remember, all of these things, you did to yourself.

I'm not surprised that this bloke is a bit miffed. Again, I'm not condoning what he's done, but you've certainly sent out some very mixed messages in the past. I admire your sharing on this thread, but until yesterday he only knew you as someone who doesn't keep her word or hold people to account. And now his expectations are shattered. No wonder he's upset.

Hang on...no you got that wrong. When she asked if he could stay I said that it was fine, as she maintained it would only be between 2 weeks and one month.
What I actually said was we did not have a choice in whether she would live with us or not. Which was last year. I said that her boyfriend could stay for a bit of time as long as he could find a job.

We're just going around in circles here. I think I may just give up now.

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

He probably doesn't have much experience

I don't know whether he does or not, but he will when he moves in!

 

[brightonlass2009]

I don't know whether he does or not, but he will when he moves in!