Do you use the CIGAR CUTTER when having a DUMP?

[Uncle Spielberg]

Eat a couple of large tins of sweetcorn and see the results in the morning. No kernal of sweetcorn has EVER been digested by a human being and that is a fact.

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

Poo is literally the funniest thing in the world isn't it.

 

[Dan Gleeballs]

I did all I can in covering it with a layer of bogpaper, but the next person to sit on that particular throne will have an unwelcoming plate of BANGERS AND MASH to deal with.

Bah ha ha ha!! Quality bit of referencing. The Mrs is like what are you laughing at? I'm like you wouldn't appreciate it...

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

I do draw the line at leaving a large log at my girlfriends house as that is not good form. Strangers ?, yeah, f*** em but partners not a good plan for a happy relationship imo.

 

[El Presidente]

Still had the residue of last night's vaseline, then?!..

Well......................you were rather FORCEFUL, weren't you?

 

[Dan Gleeballs]

....the first one is usually about the size of a rounders bat,quite firm but bendy enough to get round the bend without leaving any debris .

Just spat my tea out. It just keeps getting better & better

 

[fire&skill]

It seems like a good time for this:

 

[nail-Z]

I always try for the one bounce. The messier it is the more chance of shaking hands with the french when wiping. especially if you get your bog roll in bags of 48 from Poundstretcher i've found.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

How long before someone links to Rate my Doodie - NSFW

 

[Hillian1]

How long before someone links to Rate my Doodie - NSFW

Holy shit, some of those cannot be from Humans.

 

[Neil]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1Flr7JhPow&feature=related

 

[El Presidente]

Holy shit, some of those cannot be from Humans.

If they are, I would think twice before shaking their hand. You know where it has been.

 

[Cian]

I can only imagine the extra combined awe and horror had it been, say, Schiphol not Heathrow and a shelf-toilet in use.

 

[Hillian1]

I can only imagine the extra combined awe and horror had it been, say, Schiphol not Heathrow and a shelf-toilet in use.

This is something that has always baffle me, the shelf toilet that is, why did they make it?

 

[TheBlueAndWhiteStrips]

A few years ago some one left the biggest brownberg I've ever seen in one of the toilets at work, this thing was fist size in the middle like an anaconda that's swallowed a cow. With in 15 minutes there was a crowd cueing up to see Shitzilla. They must have flushed it 7 or 8 times but it just wouldn't budge. It was the talk of work that day. No one owned up which was a surprise really. But the 7ft 300lb security guard with the big grin was a prime suspect in Poogate.

 

[looney]

Its a Goldilocks thing. Really Big or small avoids a splash back but biggish and bombings going to soak the hair on your nuts.

 

[Billy the Fish]

This is something that has always baffle me, the shelf toilet that is, why did they make it?

Because of all the raw meat they eat on the continent, they need easy access to their shit for worms.

Either that or they just like measuring shits

 

[chucky1973]

A very good thread.

a question and a true story...

The question, why does the serrated edge on toilet roll holders within public toilets, struggle to cut the toilet paper, but always cut your arm when you have to root away to find the next sheet?

The true story, last Christmas day, my wife went up stairs to drop the kids off at the pool, and like a normal women that only goes twice a week, normally delivers an impressive log, well after about 20 mins, I shouted up to her if she was alright and she said can i come upstairs to help her, well i am not kidding, she had about 10 inches of solid poo in the basin that had got stuck and was going no where, it was well and truly blocked, she said what do we do and I am hopefull that most of you would agree as I simply said, "well babe, a plumber on xmas day will be about £500 quid and we are not doing that, best you get your rubber gloves on and get your hands down there and get it out.....and to be fair she did and wrapped in newspaper and got rid of it via a bin liner.....it was generally the largest peice of shit i have ever seen.

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

I sometimes think I am the luckiest man alive, you see, I suffer from IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME, so I experience all the different STOOL situations over a 3 month cycle.
Everything from FIZZY GRAVY, the feeling that you have NEVER FINISHED, CHOCOLATE MOOSE, CONKERS and perfect huge LOGS.
Symptoms often include CRAMPS followed by BLOWING CHUNKS, RINGSTING or an arse like the FLAG OF JAPAN.
Multiple flushes often lead to GUPPIES still swimming in the khazi, whilst WINNETS & TAG NUTS or an ongoing problem especially if I have BAKED one for 4 hours or more.
Aeroplane toilets are a particular problem, but I generally overcome this by initiating a COURTESY FLUSH 2 or 3 times during my visit.

 

[El Presidente]

Multiple flushes often lead to GUPPIES still swimming in the khazi

He hates it when people talk about him on NSC.