[Help] Toilet rolls

[Cheshire Cat]

What are you going to do when you run out?

 

[Luke93]

Shit on the floor and let my dog pick it up.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Going old skool and use greaseproof paper......

 

[Icy Gull]

We have a bidet

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

Going old skool and use greaseproof paper......

Spread it around

 

[banjo]

I’ve left the grass long no one will know till summer.

 

[The Andy Naylor Fan Club]

I've got a theory that all the loo rolls are being bought by mothers of teenage boys. They forsore the closure of schools and realised that their sons would be locking themselves away in their bedrooms for a number of weeks with only the Internet for company!

 

[warmleyseagull]

On a serious note, if any of you actually does run out, don't flush anything other than loo roll FFS.

The last thing we need is raw sewage flooding streets and houses during all of this!

It has happened near me - lovely picture of bathroom flooded with sewage posted on local FB page. Dyno Rod must be essential service.

 

[warmleyseagull]

I've got a theory that all the loo rolls are being bought by mothers of teenage boys. They forsore the closure of schools and realised that their sons would be locking themselves away in their bedrooms for a number of weeks with only the Internet for company!

No, that's tissues.

 

[A mex eyecan]

No, that's tissues.

Charmin

 

[Swansman]

Got some cheap books. You just take a few pages and wet them in the sink (not too much though as it will be all gooey and weird) and then you know what to do.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

Old socks, quick rinse in basin and hang on towel rail to dry. Job done, literally.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Buy some more. There are no shortages, just greedy people.



Yes, I know it is a dull answer.

 

[jakarta]

Surely the only reason the Daily Express is still being printed?

 

[Dick Swiveller]

I had a nose on Amazon earlier and just saw someone on Twitter proudly linking to some he had bought from there. Ignoring the £1+ per roll they cost, they may be kitchen roll as the description is vague. And the kicker? They come from China with a delivery date 6 weeks away.

 

[GingerBeerMan]

Going old skool and use greaseproof paper......

It's all about aluminium foil

 

[swindonseagull]

Wash your ar@e with water........

It wont run out.....try your local shops instead of supermarkets....plenty in the locals here.

 

[Southcoast Corsair]

When I backpacked round se Asia for three months I used my left hand. Initially it was terrifying, I’d never explored that area without a tissue buffer. However, it soon became, dare I say it, preferable to using bog roll. It was cleaner, fresher and more hygienic - where do you put wads of used toilet roll when you are living in a beach hut?
Go on now, give it a go.....

 

[southstandandy]

Copy what my dog does in the garden with the 'bum slide'.

 

[Mr Bridger]

Copy what my dog does in the garden with the 'bum slide'.

Yep, just raked the grass in case and stones on the landing strip