[Albion] Things which are not currently criminal offences but which absolutely should be

[Juan Albion]

Ending a post with 'me thinks'

Darn right, it's one word, methinks.

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

Saying "can I get" when ordering something in a deli / pub / whatever.

Anyone standing within the immediate vicinity of the offender should have the legal right to drag them from the premises by the hair, and beat them to death with their own shoes.

Seconded.

 

[Sussexscots]

i thought it depended on which state you were in whether undertaking was allowed?

As far as I know. it's legal on all freeways and Interstates. I used to drive extensively in the US and it happens everywhere, I've seen Highway Patrol cars undertaken so either it is legal or it is simply accepted.

 

[Juan Albion]

Landing planes on beaches full of sunbathers. If it isn't already.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Using social media for passive-aggressive attention seeking. The whole "u ok hun? pm me xx" culture. Just outlaw it all.

Also, using social media for constantly telling your other half how amazing they are and how much you love and adore them. Stop shouting it at ME. Say it to them PRIVATELY.

If I mentioned one particular culprit, Harty may well unfriend me from Facebook.

Doh!

 

[BN9 BHA]

Travellers ( do as you likeys ) setting up camp on a school playing field or similar.

Sorry if this has been posted, I haven't got time to read the whole thread.

 

[lawros left foot]

The use of the word 'issue', as in " I have an issue with that"

It's problem, "I have a problem with that"



Tw@s!!!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

There's a perfectly good explanantion for these. If the car is involved in an accident and the driver is unable to speak, then a very quick glance at the rear window of the car will notify the emergency services that there is another human "who may not be able to talk" in the back of the car.

No, no, it won't. Emergency services personnel are trained to consider the possibility that others may be in any crashed vehicle, or that they may have been thrown clear in an impact. They don't suddenly decide to change the scope of their operation purely because there's one of these window stickers in the car. I've probably attended hundreds of crashes over the years, and not once have I ever heard a firefighter, paramedic or police officer shout out "Drop everything, guys! We have a Baby On Board sticker!". It's a myth.

By the same logic, why do the parents who display these objects not have signs in their front garden proclaiming "Little Princess Lives Here" to alert rescuers that there may be kids inside in the event of a house fire?

Won't call you "numbnuts" though.

 

[Stat Brother]

By the same logic, why do the parents who display these objects not have signs in their front garden proclaiming "Little Princess Lives Here" to alert rescuers that there may be kids inside in the event of a house fire?

Won't call you "numbnuts" though.

No these are a lifeline.

They are to alert new arrivals that the house contains pisspoor spineless parents completely incapable of saying 'no'.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

If not mentioned already, people who turn left out of a major to less major road without signaling (or signaling only as they turn) while I patiently wait at what is to me a T junction for the fecker to drive past me. Death is too good for them.

People who visit the canteen at the NHS hospital where I work and leave their tray and dirtu plates on the table and walk past the clarly marked place for leaving *said tray and shite, then feck off to moan about the state of the NHS.

* People who use 'said' in this way. This extends to people who use, in actual conversation, words and expressions like 'hitherto', 'unbeknownst', 'the aforementioned' and 'my erstwhile companion'. You don't have any companions, you cock. You just have the poor ****er in front of you that you're stalking.

 

[half time scores]

Using Americanisms like 'math' its mathematics or maths or burglerised its burgled FFs.

Fair trial then execution, no exceptions, no mercy.

 

[Berty23]

People under six foot who use an umbrella and then pay no attention to people near them. I don't poke you in the eye with sticks so you can bloody well stop poking me in the eye you little buffoon.

Shaking off a towel on a sandy beach upwind of someone else. W£&ker

 

[Bry Nylon]

No, no, it won't. Emergency services personnel are trained to consider the possibility that others may be in any crashed vehicle, or that they may have been thrown clear in an impact. They don't suddenly decide to change the scope of their operation purely because there's one of these window stickers in the car. I've probably attended hundreds of crashes over the years, and not once have I ever heard a firefighter, paramedic or police officer shout out "Drop everything, guys! We have a Baby On Board sticker!". It's a myth.

100% spot on, in my experience. Looking for a 'Baby on Board' sticker - or acting differently upon discovering one - has never formed part of RTC protocols and procedures.

 

[Berty23]

No, no, it won't. Emergency services personnel are trained to consider the possibility that others may be in any crashed vehicle, or that they may have been thrown clear in an impact. They don't suddenly decide to change the scope of their operation purely because there's one of these window stickers in the car. I've probably attended hundreds of crashes over the years, and not once have I ever heard a firefighter, paramedic or police officer shout out "Drop everything, guys! We have a Baby On Board sticker!". It's a myth.

By the same logic, why do the parents who display these objects not have signs in their front garden proclaiming "Little Princess Lives Here" to alert rescuers that there may be kids inside in the event of a house fire?

Won't call you "numbnuts" though.

Even if they did have that effect then parents who don't take them out when baby isn't on board then they need a good hiding. They can't have it both ways.

 

[Gwylan]

[yt]CWo_3CIcTBQ[/yt]

 

[pearl]

Make your feckin mind up....

Do you wanna be seen or Not....

brilliant!

 

[Icy Gull]

Adding to that, using the word are instead of our.

Defiantly

 

[Bry Nylon]

The deliberate or conscious act of wearing brown shoes in any urban or built-up environment.

 

[Acker79]

Feeding pigeons (a hanging offence for first time offenders if I had my way).

Even Quin the Eskimo?

 

[Nixonator]

Adding a rogue 's' on the end of footballers' surnames.